Episode 78: Loving Solo Travelling
Welcome back to the Extraordinary Women podcast. My name is Sharri Harmel, Editor in Chief of the Extraordinary Women Magazine – the must-have digital magazine for women looking for inspiration, tips and support to create their fabulous next chapter… and make their dreams happen.
In the Extraordinary Women magazine and podcast, I share stories of women who are not celebrities, but women like you and me who have chosen to create and live lives of authenticity, passion, and always dream-centered. The magazine, like this podcast, also has all kinds of additional tips, ideas, insights and even a dose of inspiration to help you to create YOUR amazing and extraordinary next chapter.
Life is short so let’s make each year our best ever. Now, let’s get started…
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Episode 78: Loving Solo Travelling
The world is opening up again!! Aren’t all of us absolutely thrilled to have travel options again and have more than a little confidence that we’ll actually go on our planned excursions as expected.
Learning to love travel
I love to travel to all the places I’ve read about, the settings of the books I read, the shows I love. Sometimes my travels are in my birth country of the United States and other times I’m exploring from my other home in Paris, France. I didn’t grow up traveling. My financially struggling parents just didn’t have extra funds for anything other than my father’s crazy family picnic each summer. The only person who even valued travel in my family was my grandfather. He was a lifelong learner who left school in the 8th grade to work on the family farm, but he loved books and National Geographic magazine. He was the very first armchair traveler I ever knew, and I loved him for that. We’d have talks sometimes in the evening, him in his chair and me on the floor asking him what he thought of this or that in the magazines I was looking at. I often wonder what path his life would have taken if he had grown up in a different time and a different economic situation. Maybe that is why I intensely crave and yearn to actually sit in the places and spaces I’ve read about.
But I too didn’t have the funds for travel. My very first trip to Europe happened when I was almost 40 years old. My former husband and I were on a business trip to London and frankly, we both fell in love with England. It began our frequent travels to England and Ireland and opened me up to a world of possibilities. Even though the marriage ended, I can still remember like it was yesterday, all the laughs we shared trying to drive a manual transmission car on the opposite side of the road and the stick on our left without panicking as we explored the Cotswolds’ countryside. There were pints of beer for him and cider for me in our much-loved pubs, getting lost on walking trails, and falling in love with sheep. Back in London, we always included as many musicals as we could slot in… the talent of the actors, the coziness of the theaters, the funny ice cream at intermission… all spoiled us for anything less. When we moved to our horse farm in 1996, I even named the farm Celtic Manor, thinking I’d create my own little slice of England in Minnesota.
But our divorce caused me to have to choose… either learn to travel solo or stay at home. I chose solo traveling and I’m not alone because solo traveling is actually on the rise for ALL women – young or old, and married or not. We women are traveling and often we do it alone.
Because I regularly get asked how I manage traveling as a solo, I thought the topic might warrant a podcast. Future podcasts plan to include several women who have made travel their business passions, but today we’ll start at the beginning.
Have a plan when you travel alone
The first type of solo travel is when you are truly alone as you experience a place. You get on that plane or train alone and you experience a location alone. It could be a week in Amsterdam or a weekend you head to NYC to shop, see plays and visit museums. This is the purest form of solo traveling. This can be loads of fun, but it takes some solo traveling muscle.
The first trip I did this way was such a stretch for me that honestly, I hardly left my beautiful hotel room. Time and practice, though, has helped me to build my solo travel muscle and although I’m still nervous, especially if the language is an issue for me, but I feel confident I can do it. Someone said confidence is the remembered knowledge of accomplishment or something like that… and therefore you build confidence with actions and experiences.
There are many benefits to this type of travel, but you have to have a plan, things you want to see and do. I find it best to have my theater, tours and even some restaurant tickets in advance. I’ve found that the hotel choice can be the most important aspect to enjoying this type of a solo trip. For me, I need a good hotel in a central location, preferably with a restaurant and a very nice bar. Why? Because I have learned that even when we’re alone, we like to feel a part of the world wherever we are, even in your own neighborhood! If you live as a solo, you know that there is something lovely about working in a café or reading a book in a bookstore. There are people around!
It’s the same when you’re in a hotel. Sitting in the hotel bar with a glass of champagne and a good book or my journal in the evening and a coffee with a newspaper in the hotel restaurant in the morning helps me to feel surrounded by a community of sorts and never alone.
This type of solo traveling can be absolutely lovely. You go to places you want to see and do exactly what you want to do. That said, I always feel like I need a bit of familiarity when engaging in this type of solo travel, so once I find the perfect hotel in a city, I book my subsequent trips in the same hotel. We’ve got to remember that our brains crave familiarity to feel safe.
Choose hotels that are familiar to you
Number Sixteen in London is that hotel for me. I’ve stayed at Number Sixteen for over 20 years, long before Kit Kemp and her husband purchased the hotel. It’s actually a row of townhouses in the south Kensington area of London, close to the Tube, shops, and restaurants. In Amsterdam, I stay at The Pulitzer, which is lovely and offers an amazing canal tour for their guests on their historic boat called The Tourist. As for Paris, before I purchased my apartment, I always stayed at d’Aubusson or the Hotel Christine. When I stayed longer, I used Paris Perfect and always stayed in the building at Place Dauphine. Familiarity does assuage any nervous feelings and it is best that you feel very comfortable where you lay your head.
Only one time did I rent an apartment from a well-known group that will go nameless… it was horrible. I felt completely alone in the building, sure that if I fell down the tilted steps or got stuck in the tiny elevator, it would be months before someone would find my body… or what was left of it. The garage room could have been the scene of a horror movie, so I just ran in and dumped my garbage and back out as quickly as possible. In the apartment, there was one window that faced other buildings in the inner courtyard- not a person in sight- and two large windows that faced an alley. During the day it seemed fine, but at night, people would congregate in the alley to smoke, and every night I was there, couples were arguing into the early morning hours. Being around the corner from late night cafes isn’t a plus if you want to sleep. This was a birthday trip and on the night of my actual birthday, I laid in my bed and cried because I was scared, lonely, and unhappy.
The next day, I emailed the company and asked for a different apartment, which of course wasn’t possible… so I decided that changing where I stayed was an act of self-care and one very needed given it was my birthday. I went online and booked a tiny room at the Hotel Christine. As I walked my suitcases down Rue de Buci and up Rue Dauphine, I realized that this was an expensive but very important learning experience. When you are traveling solo, the apartment, the building and the location are much more important than if you are a couple or part of a group. So, when you read the reviews and get caught up in how cheaply others travel, remember, you are a unique traveler if you are a solo traveler.
Look to make your travel easier when you’re going solo
Another little tip of mine from my solo travels is that I tend to book my lunches at great restaurants I want to experience. Lunches are quite comfortable for a solo lady, and usually much cheaper than dinners. Therefore, on days when I’ve not got a play or event planned, I pre-book the restaurants I want to try. As for dinner, I often will have some nibbles in the hotel bar with a lovely glass of wine. The perfect ending to any day!
One more thing about solo traveling that I learned, was that I tend to best enjoy shorter visits. Now this might be just me, but I’d rather return more often than stay for extended times. So, the Eurostar to Paris or London for a few days or the long weekend to NYC to see a couple of plays is the perfect length of time for me when it’s this type of solo traveling.
Now, there is a second and truly lovely way to travel as a solo. I call it “hybrid solo traveling.” Last December I booked a trip with Doni Belau from Girls Guide to Paris. Doni sets up small travel groups of women to more places than you can imagine. From Africa to Mexico, France to wine tours in America – Doni does a fabulous job of putting together women who travel well together, many who become friends long after the trip. This was my first girls’ trip, and it is nothing like any other tour group you’ll sign up for. We went to the Alsace region of France for the Christmas markets, right during the rise of the crazy Omicron strain of covid was on the rise.
My tour group was a mix of women, some married, some solo, some retired, some early in their careers and led by Doni. I thoroughly enjoyed every one of those women and would gladly take another trip anywhere in the world with them, if only to share our life updates.
I was surprised at how easy this type of solo travel could be. I call it a hybrid because other than you are picking where you want to go, everything else is arranged and managed. Once the trip begins, all you have to do is make sure you’re ready by the morning meeting time and have an interest in making new friends, even if just for a week. As I said, we traveled during COVID, and Doni made sure we all were prepared before we arrived and received the needed tests to make our return simple. Sharing the experience with a group of gals might be just what you’d prefer if you love to conclude each day with a long dinner and the congeniality of daily sharing with a group of interesting, open, and smart women. I loved it and plan to sign up for at least one of Doni’s trips every year.
But really, why should we travel?
I don’t know about you, but for me, traveling, even armchair traveling, sparks my creativity and curiosity – for the world and for myself.
The more different cultures I experience, the more I learn that we humans aren’t all that different no matter where we live. But it is the stories and the history that intrigues me.
I’m always curious about why a particular culture has the standards and norms that I view as so different. France is a perfect example. The more time I spend in France, the more I realize that much of their enjoyment and tolerance of the unique and different, along with their obsession with rules and procedures are so much a part of the layered history of people and cultures that occurred on the land that is France for centuries before the present. For Americans that can be hard to comprehend given we are a very young country by comparison.
Travel also increases our creativity, which contributes to having an open mindset. That keeps us young and curious regardless of our ages!
But there are even more benefits to travel… and some we’ve certainly missed over the past two years!
The experts say travel is physically healthy for us. All that lugging, walking, pushing, and climbing is good for our physical health. Is it any surprise we all gained weight during our covid confinement? America is a country of cars…. we leave our homes, get in our cars and park as close as possible to our destination. In Europe where I travel most of the time, it requires us to walk up and downloads of steps to and from the metros or subways, stand on buses, and walk miles every day to pick up daily necessities or just meet a friend. I haven’t even added the physical nature of moving our luggage to our destinations! It’s hard work and when I traveled to Paris for the first time in 18 months last August, I was shocked at how I struggled to get my carryon suitcase in the overhead compartment! It made me realize how debilitating the covid lack of physical exercise was and that I needed to pay attention to my strength building again.
Travel also helps to decrease our stress… because it benefits our emotional health to leave all our worries and stresses behind even for a couple of days. You experience this with armchair travel, too! Watching a beautiful play, soaking in an interesting exhibit, sitting in a café intensely watching people because their conversations are in a language you don’t understand… all contribute to reducing your life’s stresses and reset your emotional well-being. I’m telling you, my stress lowers when I watch “All Creatures Great and Small” on Sunday evenings! Armchair travel does have its benefits!
So, it’s time, ladies, to return to travel. We’ve got our shots, our boosters, our passports and our suitcases! So, let’s plan, book, and pack… As one Delta airline ad says…” The world has brought us change but it didn’t change who we truly are… let’s keep climbing.”
Thank you for joining me today. If you liked our conversation, please give me a review and do come back for more!
We just finished up the very first 3 Weeks to Dream Readiness Workshop that I offer two times a year for our subscribers to the Extraordinary Women Magazine Circle.
It was great fun and the feedback from the women who attended was beyond my expectations!
Now let me ask you…. How is your year going? Ready to do it different this year??
Well, the Extraordinary Women Magazine Circle is just what you need IF ….
- You are committed to making this THE year you get started on your dream
- You are done talking about it, dreaming about it
- This is the year you’re going to figure it out, focus on one dream and get moving forward!
We highlight two Extraordinary Women in each issue. Not the famous or the celebrity but women like you, who have stepped into their big dreams by creating something special.
In April, we’ll be highlighting Belinda Gray, a breast cancer survivor who created the UK charity Art for Cure. Belinda took a frighteningly scary health experience and is paying it forward in a big way.
And because we’re all ready to travel again, you’ll also meet Jane Bertch, who founded La Cuisine Cooking School located right in the heart of Paris. It’s a sure way to bring back some of that amazing French cooking I promise you that you will crave when you return home and if you aren’t quite ready to travel, Jane and La Cuisine has created opportunities for you to feel and cook like a French woman.
So the EW magazine has interviews that will inspire you, but you’ll also get some tips, ideas and ways that will support you as you make YOUR dreams happen.
I’ve been a coach for over 20 years, and I’ll use every skill and strength I have to support you to get moving forward on your dream. This is a must-have magazine for every woman ready and wanting to turn the page and begin their next chapter…a chapter that is going to have you stepping into your dreams rather than just thinking about them.
I’m passionate that every woman moves forward on her dreams because I know how easy it is to say “someday I’ll get to that…” I said those exact words and that’s why it matters to me that you don’t let one more day/month or year to go by with you saying “someday” I want to do….
Who knows…you might end up as one of our highlighted extraordinary women and why not?
So go to extraordinarywomenmagazine.com and join us.
Thank you for your precious time today…. your time is the most important resource in creating your dream life. Given I am currently in Boston, I’ll say See you soon!
And to my friends in Paris, À Bien tot.
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I’m Sharri Harmel, Chief Creative of the Extraordinary Women Circle and Community, as well as Editor-in-Chief of the Extraordinary Women Magazine
I’ve been a coach for over 20 years and my dream is to create an even bigger platform so that all women can envision and then step into THEIR big dreams.
Our sole focus in the Extraordinary Women Circle and Community is to support woman like you to ignite their dreams! And we do that inside the EW Circle, which includes the EW magazine, this podcast, and workshops so you get the clarity you need to create your big dream and help you to stay on track to make it come true. Thank you for joining me and let’s get started!!
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