Welcome everyone, to Episode 34 of the Be the Real You Podcast.
My first title of this episode was going to be something about how we often get stuck in thinking that life’s big opportunities have passed us by.
Then, after a day in a bookstore, welcomed after this past year, my mindset shifted.
My new title? YES! There is STILL time!
That said, sometimes I feel I have been late to every important event in my life.
Late in being able to recognize true love.
Late in understanding my intense need to be loved.
Late to accept my real gifts.
Late to figure out what makes me truly happy.
Late to start a business.
Late to reinvent my career.
Late to accept and love my real and true self.
My positive, little warrior self says “so what! You got here and that’s all that matters!”
But what is it about the timing of our life’s biggest achievements?
When do we begin thinking that we are running to try to catch up?
Does everyone feel this way?
I guess we as humans have always marked our ages with specific events…you graduate from high school around 18 years old. You have children in your twenties and thirties. Your career begins to really grow in your forties and beyond. And if we are like our grandmothers or mothers, we might start wearing different clothes and certainly shoes by the time we are in our 50’s. But are all those number portals true? Are there specific times in our lives when certain events have to happen or does that time portal close, and we can never get it back?
No. Some women have babies earlier and others later. Some of us graduate from college at 22 and others at 42 or even 62.
Those crazy portals are rooted in our previously expected life span. When we begin to age, and how long we are supposed to live. But as we all know, due to medical advancements and healthier lifestyles, as women, we can expect to live well into our 80’s and financial planners tell us to plan to live into our 90’s.
Steven Johnson, who wrote the book Extra Life: A Short History of Living said. “As a species we have doubled our life expectancy in just one hundred years. All the advances of modern life—the medical breakthroughs, the public health institutions, the rising standards of living—have given us each about twenty thousand extra days on average.”
Those twenty thousand extra days are actually another life!
What is so interesting is that we don’t get more time as children. We don’t get much more time to be a mother. We get the extra life at the last half of our lives.
And ladies, if we are now blessed to live that extra life, isn’t it time we start to ask ourselves, what is next for me? Who am I really and truly? What brings me joy?
I think this extra life is what has fueled the rise in women entrepreneurs, even the gig economy, because some of you chose to get off the intense career path you were on mid-way through it!
Our purpose does shift at different stages of our lives. When we have children, we are focused on raising them to the best of our abilities. That is our primary purpose.
Once children have been launched, whether we had careers outside the home or not, many of us start to ask ourselves, what’s next? Is what I am currently doing enough or do I feel driven to find another path for myself.
Some of you might want to refocus on your career once you have that empty nest, but others might find yourself wanting something entirely different from what you planned when you were a young woman charting out your goals and dreams.
We no longer stay in one job, one career path, or one company for our entire lives and ladies our dreams change when our purpose changes.
And you know what, I’m still trying to figure it all out. My dreams beyond one year are still open to change!
Yet, Sometimes I do let myself whine a little (okay, more than a little) about missing those life and relationship portals.
Is there a certain age when you need to start a business, become intensely focused on your career, find love, even figure out what you really, really want?
The more I researched this question, the more I realized, no! There is still time!
Here are a few inspiring examples….
Julia Child landed in France at 36 and found her purpose. In her 40’s she wrote Mastering the Art of French Cooking, and in her 50’s she debuted on television as The French Cook.
Maya Angelou was always a writer, but no one knew who she was until her autobiography, I know Why A Caged Bird Sings catapulted her to literary stardom. She was 41.
Then a woman who broke all the age barriers of her time was Grandma Moses. She became a huge success with her paintings in the late 1930’s with Hallmark purchasing the rights to put her paintings on Christmas cards in the 1940’s. Anna Mary Robertson Moses was called Grandma Moses because she WAS a grandmother. She didn’t start painting until her 70’s and now her work is exhibited in places such as the Smithsonian American Museum of Art.
Every one of these women really had multiple careers. Some raised children, some worked in professional roles, but at some point, they connected to their own essence, their own passions. At ages long after when it was expected for them to be a success, they discovered the spark that fueled their souls.
It’s all mindset….
I don’t want to believe my chance for love has passed, I don’t want to believe this little business of mine won’t flourish. Here I am, a woman of a certain age, launching a business with the mission to support women to Be the Real You.
Crazy as it might feel to my mother or my grandmother, I truly can’t do anything else. I feel driven, because today I feel THIS is how I want to spend my extra life.
What about you?
The best way to check in with your purpose and know that it will change as life around you change. But start right now by paying attention to how your body responds when you lay out different scenarios.
Here are some possibilities for a few of you…
Stay in a job with a salary that logically seems too good to walk away from, even though you are bored OR do you jump off that ladder and feed your passion to start your own business.
Do you stay put because that’s what your partner wants OR are you ready to drag him along or go it alone however and wherever you want to soar.
Do you just coast in your career OR do you figure out how you can re-engage or pivot with a new intensity because you’ve finally got that empty nest.
Do you want to spend your time holding onto what could have been OR do you want to create, do, or build an exciting life because NOW is the best time to do that?
So, it’s time ladies, that as women we check in with ourselves, figure out what is truly important to us, and embrace whatever contribution we can make to the world right now that feels energizing and make us smile. It’s time we evaluate what we are going to do with our extra life.
Having support as you figure that out is imperative, especially for women. We are incredibly relational, whether an introvert or an extrovert. If you are looking for like-minded women who are on this same journey, join our FB group, Be the Real You. That is the purpose of the group.
When you’re feeling like an oddball, an outlier, a swan in a pond of ducks, connect with like-minded women in our group. You aren’t alone on your journey. You just need to reach out and find us!
I’m also starting something new for the FB group. In Paris, I’ve attended a number of soirées put on by Nancy Perdot who started the clothing line Salon Septième. I love those evenings and decide to bring a little of my French lifestyle into our FB group. Sometime in June, I’ll launch our Champagne Soirees where we’ll gather to discuss a specific topic in a little more detail and share with each other. I’ll be holding my Champagne Soirées on zoom with the chat box open so you can connect with each other while we discuss topics like women and money, embracing good habits, dressing with style, living alone. And speaking of dressing, I don’t know about you but I’m tired of my casual covid dressing, so let’s all dress up! Pop the cork, pour a glass of champagne and connect. Also, if you have particular topics, you’d like us to chat about, please do share in our FB group.
Thank you for taking the time to listen to today’s podcast and take care everyone and let’s get busy making the most of our extra life and Be The Real You!
À bientôt,
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