Episode 58: Ready to Create a Holiday That Matters? 

Yes, we are fast approaching the holiday season. Just about 60 days until Christmas? Are you kidding me? 

We’re all reading about the supply chain issues and how we need to start buying right now…but are we settling for a holiday like all previous ones, or are we ready to create that holiday season that matters? 

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Welcome to the Extraordinary Women Podcast where we chat about the issues that women just like you, are thinking about, dealing with, and working through in our daily lives. 

For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Sharri Harmel, Editor and Chief Creative of the Extraordinary Women Magazine and podcast. 

Life can sometimes get a little complicated, stressful, and even messy at times but all of us are trying to create a life that matters. 

The Extraordinary Women Magazine and this podcast are hopefully a tool to help you on that journey. None of us are celebrities or even well-known, but your voice matters and because you are listening to this podcast, my guess is that you are also a real and true extraordinary woman. So welcome to the community. 

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I am in the middle of planning out this holiday, which is going to be very different for me than previous years, not the least because I’m in Paris. I began by asking myself, what is it I really want for this holiday season? I think most of you are in that same place. 

It’s easier to pinpoint exactly what we don’t want. We don’t want it to be like previous holidays. We don’t want to feel crazed with shopping and cooking. We don’t want to attend numerous company or neighborhood parties where we really aren’t excited to attend. We don’t want to be cooking for days. We don’t want to be exhausted. I remember those days of trying to stay awake while I loaded the dishwasher on Christmas Eve after everyone had gone home or to bed when all I wanted to do was also go to bed and have a lovely sleep in, which wasn’t going to happen. 

But what is it we want? That’s a harder question to answer. 

I don’t know about you, but I want calmness, and nothing rushed. I want to have the day planned out, but does it all have to be focused on opening presents? Maybe start a new habit … when each child opens one gift, maybe they walk to bring a gift to the person who gave them their gift and says thank you followed by something they love about the person. I have no idea if this would work, but I think at my core, I want to focus on relationships not gifts. 

I want the time to connect with myself … my inner most feelings AND I want to reflect on those I love. Those are live far from where I am, as well as those who are no longer a part of my life but still much loved. I want to savor the old memories and my love for those now gone…my Swedish grandmother and her friend, Agnes making Krumkake, then the Swedish meatballs and white sauce for the cod, two women laughing and giggling as they told each other stories. My mother whose mind has left this world, but her body is still stuck on earth. 

As for dinners…. I want easy but yummy meals that are more about connecting with people than providing a million side dishes in my attempt to make something that appeals to each person at my table. I want to light a candle or two and enjoy nice, unrushed conversation. 

My clothes? I might want to dress up, but maybe not. I do remember my grandmother’s many holiday aprons over a pretty dress. Gosh, I’m dating myself, but those aprons always had really big pockets for all sorts of things. Not many people wear aprons anymore, so I find it funny the aprons are so clear in my childhood memories. Maybe we should pull out fancy aprons again? 

What I’m realizing is that Covid changed us didn’t it? Now there is always something in our gut that craves realness, the important things in life, things that truly matter, people who are true and straight. We all seem to have heightened bull crap meters and I believe, we can now all smell inauthenticity and fakery a mile away. 

Now for some of you, especially those of you who are alone or going through a holiday without the family or partner of your past, holidays can also be a time of loneliness if you let it creep in. Honestly, because I have spent many holidays alone, this one I’ll be in Paris by myself, so I too often have to fight loneliness over the holidays, but I’ve learned there are ways to make the holidays special even if you are alone. 

I’ve learned as a solo is to treat yourself as the most special and treasured guest. Put some effort into your plans. What music are you going to have on while you are cooking or during dinner? Are you going to schedule a beautiful walk mid-day? What are the gifts you are giving yourself? Are you going to donate your time to those in need in some way? Remember, there are hidden gifts of being alone … there are no unhappy family members, angry teenagers, or maybe the sister or brother-in-law who drinks too much … it’s just you and you can make the day as beautiful and as special as you want. 

And for those of you who have a house full of people over the holidays, I know you’ll plan and plan because I did, but don’t forget yourself in all that planning. Entertaining takes a LOT of energy and when it’s several days of celebrating versus one, you absolutely need to plan in self-care. Holidays are a great test for you to see how much you value yourself and ladies, learning to incorporate self-care into your daily life is THE biggest gift you can give yourself. 

It’s the weirdest thing but those family issues that often are just under the surface seem to rise up during holiday gatherings. For some reason family gatherings seem to be fertile ground for long-standing frustrations to make themselves known. 

So how are you going to take care of yourself when and if this happens? 

Here’s something I’ve tried … Have some kind of mantra for yourself and maybe even a little movement … One I love is to go into the pantry or the bathroom … reach your arms up towards the stars and heaven with an intake of breath and on the release, give yourself a big hug….and say out loud something like “Only love is spoken here” as the energy healer Lisa Thomas has taught me. Do it several times if needed. I promise you’ll feel recentered and loved. 

And what about those gifts? What if you push to do it differently? I remember the mad present unwrapping … the garbage bags stuffed full of ripped wrapping paper, emptied boxes and ribbons that just a few previous minutes had been beautifully wrapped gifts. How can you do it differently? How can the gift opening and giving become relational rather than transactional? 

I made one suggestion when I began this podcast episode, but I’ll add, what if we tell a person why we bought them that gift? Just because it was on their list? Really? Like a grocery list? I think you, me, and everyone is craving more, so let’s figure out how to be intentional about gifts this year. Maybe those crazy supply chain issues are here to wake us up? 

And if you are spending the holidays as a solo… What if you set out to make a list of all the gifts you received over the past year? New friends, a book club you’ve been introduced to, a cooking group, a class of some sort, a new community you now feel a part of. Maybe it’s been a year where you have a new appreciation for yourself and your gifts, and what feels really good is if you acknowledge how you shared your special and unique gifts with the world. It might also just be that you are happy you made it through the past year because it was a doozy. Then, let yourself feel excited for all the possibilities of the coming year. Find happy, find gratitude, find hope. 

Ladies, holidays are not easy…. but just like the work paradigm seems to have changed post-covid, maybe we are ready to change up how we celebrate the holidays. Thanksgiving in America, Christmas, Hannukah, whatever holidays you celebrate, let’s all have the intention to create holidays that matter. 

Outro

Ladies, if you are tired of never having time for you, never making the time to connect with yourself and your dreams, working on creating a life that matters, then I know you’ll love the Extraordinary Women magazine. 

The EW Magazine is a dream supporting, dream inspiring read. The highlight of each issue is the stories. Stories of extraordinary women, probably a lot like you, who are working hard to create lives that matter AND live their dreams. 

Plus, the magazine has all sort of ideas, a recipe or two, some lifestyle suggestions all meant to give you hope and encouragement, which we all need. In Issue three we added a section called Home Matters. I had so many people ask me about my Paris apartment and the decorating process of my Boston apartment that I decided to embrace another of my loves, the home. 

We women are multi-faceted, aren’t we? 

And because I live part-time in Paris, I write a little column called, My Parisienne Attitude, where I share all my daily musings and experiences around my life in Paris.

In addition, we are announcing a special mini-mag that will be coming out mid-November. It’s called Creating a Holiday that Matters, so if you want to receive it, and haven’t already subscribed, make sure you sign up so to get that little mini- magazine as part of your subscription. We’re trying out this idea of mini magazines between the four issues, each on a specific topic that you, our community, our tribe, are interested in and starting with how to NOT have another crazy, mindless holiday. 

Plus, we’ve got a couple of new things in the works, all part of the magazine subscription, which as you can tell, is much more than a magazine. Here are a few …. Broads and Bubbles to replace the Champagne Soirées where we have live conversations about certain issues you want to talk about AND announcing our brand-new online book club, titled “Women Who Read.” Actually, that’s a pretty boring title so jump in and message or email us and give us your suggestions. 

Because we are new at all this … that’s the fun of being on the ground floor… YOU get to share and influence the direction of the magazine, the Broads and Bubbles conversations, the book club and even who we highlight in stories. YOU get to nominate a woman YOU think should be highlighted! It might even be you, so stay tuned, sign up for the magazine subscription and let’s grow our community! 

Married or solo, kids grown or still at home. Corporate careers, entrepreneurs, a stay-at-home mother or even retired, this magazine is meant to be like your best friend who appreciates you, encourages you and inspires you to find that secret to your happiness and creating a life that matters. 

Go to Extraordinary Women Magazine.com and join us by clicking the subscribe button. 

Thank you for your precious time and as I say to my friends and neighbors in Paris…. À Bientôt!