Podcast Episode 2: Be the STAR in Your Own Life!

Listen to the Episode:

Woman walking thru a field of flowers

Hello Everyone!
Today we’re going to talk about being the star in our own lives.

What does that mean? The first time I actually said this to myself, it felt a little arrogant or maybe even selfish.

But remember – up in the sky- there are an unlimited number of stars in the universe! So why can’t you too be a star?

So, let’s talk about people who are stars…. Stars know what they want, Stars take risks, Stars are tenacious. Stars take center stage in their lives.

Now of course it’s easy to think of movie stars, but let’s go bigger. This week, due to her passing, we are all thinking about Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. A remarkable person and truly the star in her own life!

RBG (as she was called in pop culture) never chose to make herself small nor did she ever quit as she encountered the many roadblocks of being a woman in the legal profession, Jewish and super smart. No. She was persistent and resilient, a true woman of grit in pursuing her brilliant legal career.

So, what does it mean to be the star of your own life actually mean?

Well, it IS YOUR life so shouldn’t you automatically have the starring role? But you must step into that starring role and sometimes we don’t.

I certainly didn’t for many years. I was married to a man who wanted me to quit working after our marriage (even though he was initially attracted to me because of my career as a stockbroker) Instead, he wanted me to support his career and his life.

So, for years and years, I went around holding up this humungous spotlight that was shining on him. It’s a sad picture, right?

Yet for many of us, especially women, we do just this.

Yes, I could blame him, and yes I did it because I wanted him to love me and appreciate me, but the bottom line is that I chose to give up the starring role in my own life!

Now maybe you didn’t give up your starring role in your relationships, but instead you chose to do so in your work or career path. Did you not go for a promotion you wanted, or even a different career path because it wasn’t comfortable?

Like me, you may have forgotten to be the star in your own life.

It wasn’t until I was about 45 years old, that I started to question my choices and began to yearn for something even if I couldn’t name it. I didn’t know what was wrong, I just knew something didn’t feel right.

Suddenly it dawned on me. I had lost my own dreams and ambitions along the way and instead I had chosen to hold the spotlight for my partner to shine.

But where and how do you find your way to return to yourself, and step into being the star of your own life?

First you must work on your self-confidence. I think some of you may be able to relate. When you compromise yourself, it slowly eats away at your self-confidence, your self-esteem and how you view yourself. Then your choices begin to fall in line with vision you have of who you are.

After a period, you start to believe you can’t be a star and your self-concept begins to erode until you start telling yourself you shouldn’t want more.

I did it in my marriage, but you might be doing that in your career or a significant relationship in your life or even your lifestyle.

But ladies, it is time! We should all step into being the star of our own life. Everyone should be!

So how to step into your starring role?

Figure out what you really want and then go for it.

Sounds easy right? Well figuring out what you really want can be really difficult.

My clients would often think they know what they want, and then when they’d try to move forward on making it happen, they’d realize that whatever it was, they didn’t really want it so sit in confusion.

Here is a suggestion.

I’m giving you a preview of what’s in my mindset course.

Take out a sheet of paper- or open your journal- and let yourself list out everything you think you want. For example, maybe you want to have your own business or move into a bigger house or a certain neighborhood, lose weight, make, or save more money.

List them all out…1, 2, 3… and so on.

When you are finished, go back to the top of the list and next to each item, write out how you will feel when you get each item on your list. You might have to close your eyes to really connect to the feelings.

For example, let’s say one item on my list is that I want to lose weight. That’s on my list and maybe on yours.

Next to it, I’m going to write down how I will feel when I achieve losing weight….

More confident

Less worried about my health

Happier because I can exercise more and get those endorphins back into my body.

In control of my eating.

See how that works?

A great movie to connect you to the power of feeling is “I Feel Pretty”. Amy Schumer is the star and when her character steps into the starring role of her life (regardless of her weight) her life changes. This movie clearly shows that when we step into the starring role in our lives, the people around us start to change and good things begin to happen.

Now, whenever I think about snacking or eating something junky because I think I need and want comfort,

I connect to the feelings I want, not the desire to lose weight.

It is my feelings that will motivate me not a number on a scale.

Knowing what you want, directly relates to the feelings you’ll have when you get it.

And when you get what you want – you’ll to be THE star in your own life.

Does that make sense?

I sure hope so.

Try this for yourself and post in the FB group what happened. Please don’t be shy. When you share either a struggle or an “ah ha” moment, you could be sharing just want someone else in the group needs to hear.

I’d absolutely love hearing from you and what begins to happen as YOU become the Star in your own life.

It’s time for all of us to find our own, unique joie de vivre.

And remember, start with baby steps. Every baby eventually learns how to walk and then run.