Podcast Episode #127: How to Rock Midlife with Dr. Ellen Albertson
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Today, Sharri speaks with Dr. Ellen Albertson who is now known as The Midlife Whisperer.
Dr. Ellen is a podcast host, a psychologist, a registered dietician, a board-certified health and wellness coach, and a mindful self-compassion teacher. She is also the author of Rock Your Midlife.
Dr. Ellen’s mission is to empower and inspire women at midlife and to help them find the energy, the confidence, and the clarity to make their next chapter their best chapter yet!
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Dr. Ellen Albertson’s Website, https://themidlifewhisperer.com/
Dr. Ellen Albertson’s Instagram, https://www.instagram.com/the_midlife_whisperer/
Dr. Ellen Albertson’s Book, Rock Your Midlife
Voice America, https://www.voiceamerica.com/
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Episode #127
Sharri Harmel: Welcome to the Extraordinary Women Podcast, where we are all about supporting women over 40 to create and live a fabulous next chapter. You are in a unique generation of women, unlike any before you with opportunities and longevity. That means it’s time to intentionally design your fabulous next chapter rather than just live it. That is what the Extraordinary Women magazine and podcast are all about. Let’s get started. Welcome to the Extraordinary Women Magazine podcast, where we have conversations with women who have created businesses and programs for other women who are looking to live their fabulous next chapters, whatever their ages are. I’m Sharri Harmel, your host and editor of the Extraordinary Women Magazine Group, and today I have the pleasure of introducing you to Dr. Ellen Albertson, now known as The Midlife Whisperer. Dr. Ellen is a podcast host. She’s a psychologist, she’s a registered dietician, board certified health and wellness coach, mindful self-compassion teacher. I love that. And author of Rock Midlife, Dr. Allen’s mission is to empower and inspire women at midlife. To find the energy, the confidence, and the clarity to make their next chapter their best chapter. Dr. Allen and extraordinary women are so closely aligned and that made our conversation extra special. So let’s jump right in. Dr. Ellen, thank you and welcome.
Dr. Ellen Albertson: Thank you, Sharri. It is so awesome to be here with you.
Sharri Harmel: Yeah, it’s a pleasure. Just a pleasure to have you. You have done so many things up to launching, you know, your midlife whisper. Why don’t you share, uh, just if you can, you know, we’re in midlife, so we’ve got these big full lives that we’ve had. Um, but if you don’t mind sharing with our listeners kind of what has led up to what, what, what were you doing before
Dr. Ellen Albertson: Oh, certainly. Well, you know, tigers are my power animals, so I’m a cat. Oh. So I have my lives. So I’ve had many lives, but they all make sense to me. But I started my health and wellness career as a registered dietician 30 years ago, which is half my life ago. And. Oh, throughout my career I have always had midlife women have been the people who have been attracted to my work when, when I wasn’t even at midlife myself. Really, I’ve been fascinated by that period. Well, I started my career as a, you know, clinical nutritionist, outpatient dietician. and all the people coming to me initially were at midlife, cuz I mean that’s, let’s face it, that’s the time that, you know, the weight gain starts happening. The high cholesterol, the high blood pressure, the blood sugar issues, all of those things. So initially the people coming to me were at midlife and what I quickly found out is that I knew what to tell people, what to eat. Eat this, don’t eat this. But I didn’t know how to get them to follow. My recommendations. So that was kind of set me on this path of first becoming a registrar dietician. And then I worked for a period of time as a, uh, as a, uh, certified fitness trainer, which was super fun. Like I, cause I’ve always been a jock and I love being a trainer and that led me into coaching and that led me to getting a PhD in psychology and finding self-compassion and going through my own midlife trials and tribulations. So it’s been a combination of just loving this time of life, finding it so rich, so fascinating. Going it through myself. I have been through divorce health crisis. You know, I think I’ve moved five or six times during midlife. Lots of up and downs. It’s really a chrysalis period, but it’s a powerful time of transformation. And my work is so much about empowering women at midlife to find the energy, confidence, and clarity to make their next chapter their best chapter. Cuz I think midlife gets a bad rap, right? We put it in Google. With crisis, you put it in that the source and what comes up is the wrong side of 40. I’m here to say, yeah, it’s challenging. But you can take those challenges and use this time period to really figure out who am I and how do I love myself into that, that butterfly place.
Sharri Harmel: So what do you think about, you know, when I think of midlife, something is different about this stage of life that I’ve never experienced before myself. And obviously I’m probably beyond midlife at this, at this stage, but still, and I’m seeing it with so many women, 40, 45, 50, 55, something’s different. What do you think it is?
Dr. Ellen Albertson: What happens a couple things away? Well, first of all with women, most of us are going through the physiological change, the big ad menopause, right? And so that shift in hormones is a real change. And we’re going from being able to be the house to create life to like, where else am I gonna be creative in my life? So this is logical change, change of identity. I think for women, the physiological aging process is harder than it is for men because we’re told that the most important thing about us is our looks. And we’re supposed to be young and we’re supposed to be thin, and we’re going through midlife and we’re gaining weight and we’re getting wrinkles and our skin is changing and our hair is getting gray and thinning and all of these things. And so there’s a huge change. Physiologically, there’s a huge change in self-concept. And I think another big issue is that early in life, a lot of us are, you know, climbing this ladder of success. But it’s up against the wrong building. We’re doing this because society said this is the thing to do. Our parents, our peers, I know that was my case where I created this whole life for myself and I got at the top of the building and I’m looking down and going, the view is not so great up here. Like, I did everything I thought it was supposed to do. I went to the right schools. I got all the degrees I thought I had, you know, it was in the right relationship, all of the things, but I was miserable. So I had to do some real soul searching and figure out, my gosh, I have been, uh, my ladder’s been up against the wrong building. So we’ve gotta figure out like, okay, what’s that building? And we might not know exactly what that is, but, but in the book, rock Your Midlife. I talk a lot about finding your destination vibration.
Sharri Harmel: Interesting. And so
Dr. Ellen Albertson: that figuring out like, okay, I wanna feel this way. What things help me to feel this way? What makes me joyful? What makes me happy? What makes me feel energized? And as we do more of those things, the path becomes more clear. But it’s definitely one of those, like you can only see the next breadcrumb sometimes and the next breadcrumb. And I think we’re so used to having this idea of creating our lives and doing these vision boards and all these kinds of things, and we get to midlife and we’re like, The old way of doing things just isn’t working for me anymore. And you know, and an important point to mention too is that mid, like women have the highest level of depression for any group according to age and gender. So a lot of us, one in eight, a lot of us are going through depression when we don’t know if it’s because of the hormonal changes, changes in life, the extra pressures we’re going through. You know, as Brene Brown says, it’s not a crisis, it’s an un ravel
Sharri Harmel: Interesting.
Dr. Ellen Albertson: Yeah. And so, you know, and we’re fatigued, we’re not sleeping. We don’t know, again, that is the depression because we’re not getting enough sleep. We’re, you know, feeling irritable. So we’re not sure, but it’s a, it’s a challenging time of life, but the time of life that’s challenging is a powerful time to transform yourself. It’s about like the tower card in Tara, where like things are falling apart.
Sharri Harmel: It’s an opportunity to rebuild question. Cause here I have those of you who do not have this on video, can’t see that I’m holding up, uh, Dr. Allen’s book, which I think is superb. But this chapter on reprogramming your brain, uh, I just found it so interesting because almost, I think you have 10 things that one can do basically, or should do. Seven, I don’t know how many there are. No, there are 10. Um, to, to reprogram your brain. They’re all, so many of ’em were about your thoughts, your, and how you, you mentioned depression, but how you go through, you know, how do you think about your time, how do you, and how you should use it, how do you think about exercise and what you quote unquote should be doing? How you think about your eating and how we sometimes use food to manage emotions that maybe we didn’t, we didn’t do when we were younger. And then when you get into this, I, this, this just blew me away when you, and you’re quoting somebody named Jason Radley, um, stress hormones are one mechanism that we believe leads to the, the weathering of the brain. And I’ve asked this question as it relates to dementia and to Alzheimer’s because it’s so much more, uh, you know, common in women and asked the question, even at the Mayo Clinic, do you know why? Why does it, is it attached to hormones? And of course, no one actually has done the studies to find out why. What do you think, what do you think’s going on chemically and emotionally and how that connects to thoughts for women?
Dr. Ellen Albertson: Well, I speak mainly to women cuz that’s who I primarily work with. But here’s the thing, when we are stressed out, we create cortisol and we experience inflammation. And we know that inflammation being inflamed is really at the basis of so many diseases, including, you know, things like the braids. So when we’re stressed out, like when we’re in danger mode, when we’re in fight and flight mode and cortisol is happening, it’s generating, um, you know, the, the body brain is just interested in staying alive. And so everything sort of narrows that focus and we really know that that whole stressed outness. If you think about the last time, you know, you were stressed out, like did you feel expensive and creative or did you just wanna like either fight, flee, or freeze, right? We wanna plea, we wanna fight or we wanna freeze. And that’s a very primitive, that’s that reptilian brain, which is telling us to like stay small, shrink. And you know, it causes a lot of issues in the body because your body is gearing up for a battle or you get to flee to fight or to free. It’s not to expand and grow. And so I would think that it has something to do with the fact that there is all of that, you know, it’s, it’s almost like rusting the body and the brain. With cortisol, we need it, right? There’s some stress we need, but the problem is that our brains and our bodies evolved hundreds of thousands of years ago. When, yeah, if there was a saber tooth tiger, you know, on the plane, fucking cover right now. Somebody gives you the finger when you’re on the highway, or you know, your boss looks at you, you know, sideways, or you get an email that upsets you and you go right into fight and flight. You have all that physiological stuff going on, but you’re perfectly. mm-hmm. . And we’re constantly, you know, constantly experiencing that. There’s a wonderful book out. I think it’s something like, you know, zebras Don’t Get Stressed or something like animals, when you see your dog gets a stress and it’ll shake, it’ll literally shake it off. We don’t shake it off, we hold onto it. So we have to start to learn how to respond rather than react to those stresses in our lives and how to manage our stress so that we can get rid of all of this cortisol that’s constantly being, uh, generated in our body. So I think that probably has something to do with, with, you know, the cortisol generation. Um, you know, I like to think about, um, a bit of a, a neuroscience nerd, right? So I think about the primary, uh, neurotransmitters, the brain chemicals or, or cortisol, which we talked. Serotonin, which is the calming dopamine, which is rewards, and then oxytocin. Now you had mentioned the food. What happens is that, you know, when we feel stressed out, we wanna feel better. We go to food, alcohol, sex, drugs, shopping, these things, Netflix, right? To elevate that reward system to feel better temporarily. But the problem is that it’s twofold. Not only have we not dealt with the issue that’s bothering us, but maybe we have engaged in a behavior which is not beneficial, particularly I think about, you know, eating and drinking. And so when we’re done with that behavior, we’re still stuck with the problem. And then on top of it, we may feel guilty. Now we bring in this oxytocin, which is the mammalian chemical of care and connection. It’s the chemical that we generate when we touch ourselves, when we get a hug, when we play with our pets. And so what happens is when you’re stressed out, Generate oxytocin by practicing self-compassion and by things like touch calms down the cortisol and the stress, and it keeps you from doing that dopa. looking for for that. Yeah. Yeah. So looking for that. So it’s, it’s, we can learn, you know, through, through certainly po positive talk. And this was a big piece when I moved from the, the journey of being a dietician to being a psychologist, realizing that mindset is super important. Why are you wanting to engage in these changes? You know, what, what are the, what are the positive emotions? So using both your thoughts and your emotions of why you wanna do this thing. Let’s say you want to move your body more. Well, what’s your why? I wanna be healthy. I wanna have energy, I wanna feel good, I wanna be confident. What are your fears? I, I’m afraid that I won’t be able to, you know, do it. I’m afraid if I join the gym, you know, um, some people are even afraid, like, how am I gonna feel if I’m in like a sexy, healthy body? Yeah. So you have to deal with the fears and, you know, and what, what’s holding you? , elevate the positive emotions, work on that mindset. Mm-hmm. . So creating goals isn’t enough. You have to bring, you have to really, um, amplify it with both your mindset and your emotions.
Sharri Harmel: So let me ask you a question, because you talked about the cortisol levels and how sometimes we go, we, we do go into flight, uh, fight or freeze mode when an event happens. But can we also create that same kind of, uh, disease, if we wanna call it that by our thoughts, like worrying about things that may not even happen? You mentioned going to the gym. I’m overweight and I think of myself an exercise, clothes in a gym in front of people, and I immediately feel stress. Uh, so do we sometimes create that, you know, roller coaster of cortisol with our thoughts?
Dr. Ellen Albertson: Absolutely. I’m so glad you mentioned that, because the brain doesn’t know the difference between reality and imagination. So you can close your eyes and you can imagine yourself doing something that’s stressing reality. Cause you said like going to the gym or being at a traffic gym, having a fight with someone you love, and now imagine yourself like on the beach, , you know, just enjoying yourself or just sitting, listening to music. So we, we have that ability to use our imagination, use our visualization powers, and also to understand too that, um, the brain naturally ruminates. The brain is constantly, we talked about sort of this a big blow, this fight and flight, this danger response. And then we also have a part of the brain that’s constantly scanning the environment for what could go wrong since what we naturally ruminate, the brain, the mind wander. And so the way we can bring it back is being mindful. So right now, like when I’m, when I’m talking to you, I’m very present. I’m not thinking about what I’m having for dinner. I’m not thinking about, you know, what’s going on with people. I love, I’m not worrying about anything. I’m present. When we are present, when we are in the moment, it turns off what’s called the default mode network that goes down the middle of our brain that’s scanning our environment for what could go wrong. So we can use our visualization. So you could see yourself, you know, at the gym, enjoying yourself, meeting new people, maybe you know, taking a class, listening to music, having it be an enjoyable experience or you can stay in that sort of fearful mode. But it’s very true that we create stress from our thoughts. I think it was probably, Mark Twain said, you know, 99% of what I am worried about didn’t happen to me. We worried about these things that never happened to us. So that’s naturally what we do. Our brain is constantly on the lookout for what could go wrong. Mm, interesting. So it’s also, you know, we have a negativity bias. So always looking for what’s negative, what’s wrong, not for what’s right. But the good news is when we become intentional about it, we can really savor the good, we can use our powers of visualization. We can learn how to, uh, focus the mind on positive things and not on, on all of our worries and ruminations.
Sharri Harmel: Interesting. Uh, so basically what it, if I’m hearing you correctly, we can actually trick the. So if the brain goes into the imagination of awful things, you can drill that thought process and say, I’m going to imagine myself in a positive environment or a positive outcome of some kind, which in essence not tricks the brain, but it actually turns the brain, you know, a 360 or a, you know, 1 8, 180 and say, oh my gosh, this is okay. This is, this is just. Yeah. Yeah. We can reprogram the brain.
Dr. Ellen Albertson: Yes. Cause there’s something called neuroplasticity. So we used to think that the brain stopped evolving and growing when we hit about 18, 20. But now we know that the brain is constantly changing. We’re constantly making new neural connections, new neural pathways. And so when we, we can train our brain, reprogram it to be more positive, to be happier, you know, to, to feel more motivated. And another thing that I have people do, which should I talk about, you know, before I get to my seven steps around getting unstuck, is looking at your immunity to change. So, you know, Sherry, if you take a look at like, okay, when I think about going to the gym, what are all the things I do instead? Like, instead of packing my gym bag, instead of getting in the card going, looking at the, looking at the exercise classes that are offered, what do I do? You know, maybe I procrastinate or I have a snack, I take a nap, I, you know, Whatever it is that you do when, when you’re procrastinating and then so you take a look at and you see, okay, when you think about doing the, you know, getting in your car and going, what’s really in your worry box? Like, what are you really scared of? We have this immunity to change because the brain isn’t interested in us being fulfilled and healthy and happy. just wants to keep us safe. And in your mind going The gym is dangerous. Yeah.
Sharri Harmel: Yeah. Isn’t that interesting? Yeah. It’s, but. I, I like that phrase immunity to change because it, it relates to so many things. It’s not just, you know, going to the gym, which is something that would be healthy in my case for me to do, but it’s also like all of those things that we deal with in midlife. Do I move, do I downsize? Do I get a divorce? Do I stay married? How do I keep my relationship going? I don’t live where my children are, do I start a business? You know, those are all questions that we’re dealing with to some extent, uh, you know, at the 40 plus age group. And does that immunity to change kick in there too?
Dr. Ellen Albertson: Yeah. Yeah. It’s always kicking in because, you know, it’s, it’s a cliche, but everything you want is really on the other side of fear. So everything that you wanna do, it’s like, it’s gonna take energy and you do have to face your fears. And that’s where you know, this self-compassion piece, which is step two in my book, rock Your Midlife, which is learning to love yourself comes in because when you know that you’re there for, you can take a chance. You take risks because if you, you’re gonna fail. That’s the thing. If, you know, if you go to the gym, yeah, you’re gonna do an exercise wrong, it’s gonna take longer than you think. You’re gonna get there for the eight o’clock class and it was really at seven, whatever that is, right? We’re gonna fail. We’re gonna make mistakes. But with self-compassion, first of all, you realize that we’re all imperfect beings. It’s okay to fail. It’s part of the whole trip of being a human. And you’ve got this resource yourself to pick you up and say, you can do this. All right, so you failed. What did you learn? Um, you know, failure is just a stepping stone on the path to whatever it is you’re trying to do. Whatever, whatever success means to you, if you’re going to do something challenging, that’s going to be fulfilling, you’re gonna make mistakes.
Sharri Harmel: Mm-hmm, I love that. And we’re going to revisit that in just a minute because I think failure or how we interpret failure is so incredibly important and it needs to shift for many people.
Sharri Harmel: Let’s talk about your business. You have many different areas. You’ve got a podcast, you’ve got workshops that you do, you do coaching.
Obviously you’ve written a book. You’re probably writing another book as as we’re sitting here. So talk about the different areas and why you started those.
Dr. Ellen Albertson: Yeah, well, I think it, it really started for me, uh, in my thirties. My ex-husband and I were the cooking couple in the nineties, so we were celebrity chefs. Oh, wow. And so I actually had a media career. I wrote for a lot of women’s magazine, like Self Good Housekeeping, better Homes and Gardens. My ex-husband and I wrote several books together and, you know, I was on everything from the TV Food Network to Extra. I was, I’ve been in front of millions of people on live tv, so I started in this media career. So I also have a Leo Rising . So I like being on stage. I like being in front of the camera. So there’s always been this kind of media bookend to anything that I do. I love creating content because it’s such a, it’s fun for me, it’s creative, and it’s a great way to meet lots of people. So all of these different arms of my business are the podcast. So like, you know, like you’re doing, you meet great people, you share wonderful information. It’s sort of fun, it’s informative, it’s an amazing way to reach people over the world. I’ve got people in, I think China and Russia and, God, what did I say? You know, all over the place as I’m sure you are. So I have sort of this whole media end of my business that I really love. I have some influencer and because I do a lot of, um, I have a lot of credentials as a dietician, a psychologist. Mm-hmm. and a health and wellness coach. So I do some product spokesperson work. I love coaching. Coaching has always been a backbone. I mean, I’ve been, I’ve been a coach for 15 years and I’m a very. Experienced season coach. I love being a coach. I’m not a therapist, even though I have a PhD in psychology. So, um, a lot of the work I do is coaching and going into some, doing some more group coaching and then writing and speaking. So everything sort of feeds into each other. And also I’m, I’m a massage too, so I get bored easy. So yeah, I like to do lots of different things all the time. It keeps things interesting and all of the different arms of my business, it feed into each other.
Sharri Harmel: Were you always that way? Would you say, I call the, I call people like you, a multi potential light. Were you always that kind of a person, even as a kid?
Dr. Ellen Albertson: Yeah, I’ve always been able, able to synthesize a wide variety of information. So my undergraduate degree is in economics and art history. Oh, and . Yeah. And I, my early career was in, you know, I was in retailing in New York City and realized that wasn’t for me. I’ve always been really interested in health and wellness and, uh, taking care of my body has been fascinating to me. Um, I’m, I love helping people enjoy being healthy, not making, how we get to this place where being healthy is punitive. You know, we starve ourselves and we beat ourselves up at the gym. Um, so I’ve always been interested in lots of different things. Like right now I am getting ready to go to Costa Rica, so I’m learning Spanish and I am also learning the Yu Ukulele just because, um, it’s fun.
Sharri Harmel: Yeah. Just because there’s a period after that. . Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Your podcast though, I found it very interesting because you’re part of Voice America and podcasts are interesting because, We’re always trying to find ways to grow our podcast audience. Um, it’s a common thread for all people who run podcasts, and I think some of our listeners truly are considering starting a podcast. Tell us about this relationship with Voice America. How did, how did that happen?
Dr. Ellen Albertson: Well, Voice America is I think the oldest and probably largest internet radio station. And they’ve been around for quite a long time. And I came across them. I came across them in the nineties, I think back when, you know, I think my ex-husband and I, we were doing a r uh, a regular, um, Uh, land-based radio. Yeah, I think they’re still out there. Radio. So we had, we had a radio show, so I think I had come across them initially and then I came across them again. I was doing a media summit where I was in front of, uh, media entities, everything from the Today Show, good Morning America Podcasters, and they were part of that group. So I got in touch with them and I felt, for me, you know, there’s lots of different ways to do a podcast. You don’t need to do a voice. America, there’s, you know, anybody can do podcasting, which is awesome. But I knew myself that if I signed a contract and I, and I told myself I was gonna do it for a year, it’s, it is easy. I think a lot of us like start podcasts and then after we realize how hard it is to keep it going. And I know for myself that when I have, you know, deadlines and very, you know, a lot of specificity around things I decide to do mm-hmm. , I follow through sometimes I tend to also, I start a lot of things and I don’t always complete everything. Probably have a little, you know, uh, I love to start new things, but I don’t always complete my project. So I knew that I would get the support that I needed. Um, I knew that I would have somewhat of a built in audience, which was great. And then, you know, also knew that if I signed a contract, I would commit myself to a year and really do it.
Sharri Harmel: Hmm. So has it been everything you thought it was? Going to be, has it provided all of that? What do you think?
Dr. Ellen Albertson: Good journey. I think I’m, I think as we go through podcasting, we, the best part of it is just meeting amazing people and also being able to share more information and getting better at my craft. Um, we learn so much as we go. I mean, part of my story is, let’s see, I started Voice America on March 28th. April 12th, I got breast cancer.
Sharri Harmel: Oh my goodness. Wow. Oh yeah. So I was, so talk about that. You just threw that out there. Talk about that.
Dr. Ellen Albertson: Yeah. Well, um, well, breast cancer was not on my vision board, no Um, I am the healthiest person that I know. I do everything right. You know, I nurse my two children who are now 21 to 25. I have no family history of breast can, no family history of any cancers anywhere in my family. My diet is fantastic. My life is great. Um, but my earlier part, my midlife wasn’t so great. I was under a lot of stress. My marriage wasn’t great. Um, I had a fierce workaholic. And then I also found out that I have a BRCA two mutation. So I have a genetic mutation that gives me a 50% risk statistically of having breast cancer. Of getting breast cancer. So throw that into the mix and. Kind of what happened. So, um, but fortunately it was stage one A, so I always, you know, if I’m, if I have an opportunity to say it, get your mammogram for me, it was found in a, um, breast, uh, density ultrasound. So I have dense breast tissue, which a lot of women do. I had gotten this letter and it was kind breast density’s kind of a new thing. So when I got the letter, I was like, oh, I know I’m, I’m fine and don’t have to worry about breast cancer. Covid hit. So I had, had kind of put off my mammograms, my, you know, my, my scan. So I had a scan in October of 20, uh, I guess it was 2021. And then I had the breast density in 2022 in April, and that’s where they found the, the tumor, but it was the size of a dime. So I’m also here to say, uh, you know, early detection is where it’s at. It wasn’t fun, but, um, didn’t lose my hair.
Sharri Harmel: No. And everyone, she has long, curly, gorgeous hair.
Dr. Ellen Albertson: Yeah, thank you. But, you know, so, you know, I had a lumpectomy, so I had the tumor removed. I had 19 courses of radiation and I’m getting some immunotherapy, having a year of immunotherapy. So it’s not exactly been a walk in a park. But compared to people who it’s found, you know, much later, it’s a very different experience. So I mean, the, the thing about breast cancer is it’s the most studied cancer. Um, it’s, it’s very treatable, especially if it’s caught early. So it did change things for me. I kept the co the podcast, I actually talked more about breast cancer, um, as part of it and spread awareness. I thought I wanted to maybe go in that direction, realize that I learned a lot and it’s part of my story, but I don’t want it to be my whole story.
Sharri Harmel: That’s really finding our stories. Um, I’ve taken a total complete, uh, you know, right turn here, but finding our stories. Or what we want to focus on our why, if I, if we call it that, um, is so important, you know, and, and sometimes midlife women are, are being coached. Honestly, I’m a long-term coach, are being coached to pull from their own experiences. So here you had breast cancer, it was an, would’ve been an easy choice to say, I’m going to focus in that area and help women to, you know, get past that and move forward in every aspect of their life. After that, why did you not, why, why did you not go that direction?
Dr. Ellen Albertson: Well, I thought about it and I actually had an opportunity to meet agents and I had a book, you know, I had a book proposal that I was working on. I listened to my intuition and I realized that making my life about breast cancer would not be what brings me joy. So this year, 2023 is my year of more joy, less oil like that do things to light me up. So I’m doing, actually mentioned, I’m working on a TED Talk right now that I’m super excited about, about REM mirroring yourself. So my research is on. Self-compassion body, and, but how do we like who and what we see in the mirror. So it just didn’t, breast cancer just didn’t, um, my intuition said this is not the right thing. I realized that if I wrote a book, first of all, it would not have been a fun book to write. Mm-hmm. . Um, and writing a book is, uh, intense process that you dedicate a lot of time to the writing of it, the publicizing of it. It’s really, you’re, you’re in the thick of it for several years and you’re thinking about your legacy and really thinking about what I wanna be focused on, what I wanna be doing, and realize that it wasn’t gonna make me happy to delve into it. I’m not gonna forget it. And I had a lot of great, um, silver linings and healings from it, but, um, there’s a lot of people doing that work, and I just didn’t feel called to make my li to be, you know, a breast cancer warrior. I was, you know, my own experience and certainly share about it. But, um, I didn’t want my, my work to be just about that.
Sharri Harmel: That narrow focus. So go back to the podcast cuz you, we started talking about the podcast and what it has been like to run a podcast. Um, it’s, it’s dedication. Absolutely dedication. So, you know, what’s, where are you, where are you with this? And, and share with others who may consider be considering starting a podcast. You know, what did you learn that it’s not, what did you learn that it is what you love about it, what you hate about it?
Dr. Ellen Albertson: Gosh, what is it? Well, you know, it’s, it’s another platform and I think there’s so many ways of. Presenting, reaching people, presenting your material, making a difference in the world. So it’s a very nice way to do that. I think. So the cool thing about podcasts is that people could listen to them anywhere. Unlike something like, you know, doing a YouTube channel or doing like an, you know, a Facebook or a Instagram live is that people can listen in the car, they can listen when they’re walking, doing the dishes, exercising, all the things. So I think more and more people are looking for opportunities to get information. It’s interesting cuz my PhD’s actually immediate psychology. So we were sort of, I, I got my degree like 10, 15 years ago and we were looking at like, everybody can have their own platform. Like everyone can have their own TV station, their own podcast, their own books. We can do all of those things. So, I think that it’s been, the, the joy of it for me is just meeting amazing people. It’s a fantastic networking tool. So I have, you know, had incredible people on my podcast and made amazing friends, learned great information. Um, I think for me, interviewing people is really in my genius zone, like bringing the best out of sure for you. YouTube, bringing what’s out, being naturally curious, sharing. So it’s been a great opportunity to share information, to grow my audience, to meet amazing people. Um, the, they’re fun. It’s pretty easy for me to do. It’s not a heck of a lot of work because, um, voice America takes care of kind of all the backend. So I need to, you know, book the people. Sort of do the show prep ahead of time, show up, do the show, promote the show. Um, it hasn’t been as big a hit as I was anticipating, you know, so right now I’m getting, you know, I mean, I’m getting, I don’t know how many downloads you have every week, but it’s not, it’s not like I’m getting a hundred thousand downloads a week. Sure. It’s a decent number of people. And, um, I’ve had, you know, people write to me, I am always in so fascinated, uh, by how people perceive me and my brand. You know, I always think like, interesting, I’m little old me, and then I get, you know, an email from somebody or you know, a message from somebody. You changed my life, you know, I just found you and I found your book. And it’s just when I needed, or I listen to that podcast, I’m going through menopause. Oh my God, I never knew I could do these things, or I’m really struggling with my relationships. Thank you so much. Oh my gosh, self-compassion. I never knew this was a thing. So for me, the most satisfactory, the most satisfying thing is when a woman texts me, emails me, reaches out and says, wow, I love your book. It’s mostly the, the book I think is the crowning jewel. I’m very proud of my book. Mm-hmm. You should be. I think, I think that, um, the first thing I ever wanted to be talking about authenticity, which is my first step in rock, your Midlife. I wanted to be a writer. I knew it when I was five. Mm-hmm. I don’t know how I knew that. I mean, what does a five year old know about what it is to be a writer? They might be reading. Right. Yeah. I wasn’t though, I had dyslexia, so I certainly wasn’t reading, but I was writing, I was writing my first stories when I was five. Um, so It’s just the, the podcast is, it’s fun. I’m gonna, you know, keep doing it. I think that’s the thing. If you’re, I guess my best, best advice would be to somebody really know what is involved with creating a podcast and, you know, make a decision whether or not you’re gonna stick to it. Because I think there’s this whole podcast graveyard out there where there’s like a million podcasts out there, and only a very small percentage of them stick with it. And you have to stick with it for quite a while before you get enough of a following, you know, and it, and it starts to get sticky. And what’s your experience, how long have you had your podcast?
Sharri Harmel: Oh gosh. I’m in episodes weekly and I’m in episode 121, something like that. So I’m in year. But you’re right. Good for you. It’s, it’s, it’s a long haul. It’s a very long haul. And you’re talking to yourself for, you know, to a certain extent for that entire first year, practically yourself and family and friends, . Um, because it takes a long time. That’s why I was really curious about Voice America, because I thought that might be an avenue for, for myself or for lots of people to get more. Um, eyes on the podcast, ears on the podcast, so to speak, um, because it’s hard. You’re right, there’s, there’s hundreds of them, hundreds, probably thousands of podcasts. Um, yeah. And so, which are the ones that are really great, share with everyone the name of your podcast, because they’re hard, good ones are hard to find.
Dr. Ellen Albertson: So share, it’s Rock your Midlife and the same as the book, rock Your Midlife and you can go to my website, the midlife whisperer.com and all the links are there as well. And you can actually listen to the, the individual episodes and it’s on YouTube and all the platforms. So yeah, would say too, you know, you, you have to be willing to pro, you know, be a shameless self-promoter. So if you’re not willing to go out there and meet people and promote yourself, and that’s okay. It might not be your thing. I think there’s a lot of people who we all, we think about ideas and things that we wanna do and we don’t follow through. So make sure. , you know, ask a lot of people, really listen to your intuition and decide is it the right thing. And you know, I have a lot of people who do things like, they’ll just do like a once a week live on Instagram and they’ll invite people on to have a conversation. So you don’t have to go all whole hog podcast. Yep. In order to have an impact. There are so many different channels. I mean, I think the nice thing about podcasting versus doing things on like Facebook and Instagram, or even LinkedIn, is that you own the material, right? Yes. So it’s not like, you know, Facebook is going to, you know, I’ve, I’ve talked to so many people who’ve, whose um, accounts have been hacked on Facebook or Instagram and they lose everything. So there is this level of security that you actually, you know, you’ve got your recordings, you’ve got your downloads, so you have some level of control over the information ownership.
Sharri Harmel: You own it. Yeah, definitely. So talk about the book. Yeah. You know, how long ago did you write the book? I, it’s, it’s really, it’s something that ladies, you should look at. Not once you’re going to look at it like I have and, you know, flip corners and underline and whatnot, because you’re going to go back to things. Um, you can’t. It’s not like you sit down and read a book of fiction. And you’re ready to roll.
Dr. Ellen Albertson: I hope it’s entertaining because I do pride myself in being, I’m not Mary Oliver yet. , uh, someday I read her work and I, I, and I’m trying to remember who else, um, I have been reading, um, the Poisonwood Bible.
Sharri Harmel: oh, uh oh. Good lord. It’s right at the tip of my tongue. It’ll
Dr. Ellen Albertson: come to, but yes, I pride myself,
Sharri Harmel: Barbara in, not Barbara, no. Poisonwood. Kingsley Kingley. Yes. Barbara
Dr. Ellen Albertson: Kingsley. Yes. Yes. There you go. Oh, fabulous. She’s makes me wanna cry When I read her writing it, it, it blows me away. So. Um, so I wrote the book again because I felt like there really wasn’t a good how to book out there. I was amazed. Like I look at midlife and, you know, of course we think about, um, Glennon Doyle’s book, um, and all kinds of books that are, you know, showing about this midlife period of time. And I just love that Gen Xers are there and they’re talking about menopause, and they’re making menopause cool and sexy and it’s, it’s, you know, becoming a thing. And that’s awesome. But I really felt like that piece that explains how you can navigate it, being a coach, being a psychologist, going through it myself, working with hundreds and hundreds of women at midlife, being a coach, like you just realize like, you know, I, I can only help so many people in my life. I wanna help more people, both in terms of giving people a guidebook that they could pick up, start any of the seven steps. So that’s what I love about, there’s seven steps. It’s authenticity. Uh, knowing yourself, loving yourself, energizing yourself, which is all the diet, exercise, the health and wellness stuff. Um, reprogramming your brain, which we talked about. Empowering yourself, uh, rehabbing your relationships because when you become that butterfly, the people in your life still think you’re the caterpillar and you have to learn how to deal with them and enlightening yourself, having that spiritual connection. So it’s my seven step system that I developed through my own life and through working with clients. And I really wanted to create a book where anybody could pick it up, read it through, start with any of the steps, and really get results fast. Um, and I think people, it’s, it’s made a big difference in a lot of people’s lives. So, um, it took me, I started it March of 2021 and I published in November of 2021, so I self-published it. So I’ve written five books, uh, some self-published, some small publisher, one, Simon and Schuster. Um, I thought about going the big publisher route, but. , even though my following’s pretty big these days, to get a big publishing contract with a major publisher, you need to be able to guarantee, not guarantee, but they wanted, you have to have a big enough following to sell 30,000 books. And my following, although it’s good, you know, it’s in the publisher’s eyes, it’s probably not going to sell 30,000 books. At least the time when I wrote Rock Your Midlife. Mm-hmm. . So I wanted to do it myself. Um, which was, uh, an interesting process. Again, it wasn’t my first book, it wasn’t my first self-published book. So I had some, uh, understanding and it, it’s very like the podcast thing, it’s very doable. Amazon makes it very easy to self-publish. It used to be when I wrote my first, my second book, Is foreplay. My ex-husband and I wrote it, you know, we ordered 10,000 books and we house these books in our basement . I order books and send them out. You know, there was no Amazon, no, no. It was a whole different game. And so now it’s, it’s actually quite easy. Amazon makes it very easy to do print on demand. They actually don’t take that large a cut, um, of the, you know, when they, when someone, when you ordered the book, it wasn’t like there was a warehouse with Rock Your Midwives, they went and they just printed up the book. They sent it to you. So you don’t really have to, you don’t have to do the way things do the way you used to. Right. So it, it’s, I would say at all of the jewels in my, you know, uh, midlife Whisperer empire though. Yeah. Yeah. The book is, the book is my favorite.
Sharri Harmel: Your favorite. And prob. Is it also your best, uh, marketing.
would you say?
Dr. Ellen Albertson: It’s hard to know what’s your best marketing tool? Yeah. Cause all work together, but, um, it’s a really powerful marketing tool. I mean, that’s the other thing that you can do is if people are getting the book and you’re thinking about doing this as a lead mar magnet for other aspects of your business, you can embed things in the book, um, that help people, but also get people closer and closer to you to work with you on some level.
Sharri Harmel: Okay, so the word midlife, what, what does that mean? And it it, does it have any negative connotations? I thought it was interesting. The book was Rock your Midlife because it’s using that word.
Dr. Ellen Albertson: Yeah. Well, um, I think that that’s changing. Mm-hmm. . So, you know, I really think Sherry, that we used to, again, have this concept and this whole idea of midlife crisis, uh, came about in the sixties with a male psych, I believe he was a psychologist, um, who was looking at men and looking at this, you know, uh, quintessential. Run off with your massage therapist and get the red sports car secretary, you know, get a bunch of Viagra on the way to the hotel and all this kinda stuff. And it’s a very small percentage of people who experience that. When you look at the research, what women in particular, what we’re experiencing as Brene Brown says, is really an unraveling. We are experiencing, you know, being, uh, torn on, you know, in so many different directions, really having problems with our resources financially, energy wise. Like how do we care for our kids and care for our spouse and take care of work and find time for ourselves. We’re really, really, Tired and tapped out. So I don’t think it’s so much about the, you know, the crisis anymore. I think it’s much more about, um, how do I, how do I manage this, this period of my life, and what do I need to do to find my joy again? So many women are coming to me, and I think the main three things that women want, or they want energy, they want confidence, and they want joy, you know? Okay there. Energy, energy, confidence, joy. Okay. The light looks good on the outside. Mm-hmm. , it looks like a shiny apple. Have you’ve ever bitten into an apple? And it looks beautiful and you get inside and it’s kind of rotten inside. And I think I had one person, one of my favorite, um, episodes on my show was this idea of, um, perfectly hidden depression, where we look so good on the asset. This is my situation where we look like we’ve got it all together. We’ve got a smile on our face. We’re managing everything, but inside we are absolutely crumbling. Mm-hmm. . And so I think that’s a lot for women at midlife. And then you throw in that we’re going through menopause. , which is causing this whole other unbalanced ness, wobbliness. And it, it’s really kind of a perfect storm, but it’s again, this perfect storm. And it was interesting. I was talking to, um, this woman I love, her name is Lisa, um, Whitaker, and she does, uh, dressing for mostly women at med midlife. How do you, how to dress for your authentic self? And she was really talking about the time to do the work is when you are at this wobbly, difficult period because you’re like the, when the Caterpillar removes into the butterfly, it literally dissolves itself and then it’s got these managerial cells, which are sort of the, the blueprint, the caterpillar and the butterfly have the same d n a, but they’re completely different creatures. Same, d n a digests itself has these, these key cells, which are the blueprint for this new being that is, you know, flying and eating nectar. So a midlife is kind of like that too. We’re still, you know, have that set essence, our soul, our essence, whatever you wanna call it. And then we become that butterfly through this crystals period where we’re dissolving ourself. We’re really looking at what are my core values? What do I stand for? Who am I really, how do I love myself? How do I care for myself? Because, you know, the bottom line is, is we are redefining midlife because we’re living longer. Yeah. Yeah. We’ve never lived into our eighties, nineties. My, my parents are 1992 and they’re still zipping around a little slower, but they’re, you know, mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. , they’re still living very vibrant, beautiful lives. So we’re looking at myself, you know, I’m looking at 30, 40 amazing years. I have a great new relationship. So I’ve been out of the chrysalis period. I was divorced five years ago. I had my health crisis. I think I wrote in the book my retina detached three times. I went blind. Um, Through divorce, all of the things. And now I have an amazing man. I love where I live. I have incredible friends. I’m traveling. I feel fantastic. I love my career. So, you know, we can have an awful lot, but we’ve gotta see what’s working, what’s not working, and make some changes and have enough self-love and enough courage to do the hard work.
Sharri Harmel: yeah. But midlife, what I, what I’m hearing is midlife is actually not truly midlife. It’s just a name for a stage. Because I’m hearing some of the same conversations from women who are 40 women who are 45, who are saying, you know, and they, and they often put off having children until later in life. And so they still have little ones, but they’re still in that they’re, they’re now embracing that mindset. There must be more to this, like you said, but the apple on the outside looks beautiful, but in the inside it’s not so good. Um, so midlife yet I, I hear 65 year old women who say, I wanna start a business. I’m ready. I, I, I know what I wanna do and I wanna get going. How do I do that? Uh, that’s certainly, unless they’re gonna live to 130, that’s certainly not midlife. But yet, you know, here we are. So is mid. Just a stage like Gen X or Gen Z or whatever.
Dr. Ellen Albertson: Well, I like to think of it at that point when you realize that there is less time in front of, than behind you.You start to realize that you’re running out of time, and I think that each of us gets to decide what that is. I personally feel on the, I’ll be on the record with it. I just turned 60 and I feel like I’m out of that chrysalis now. I feel like, okay, the wings are dry, I’m ready to fly, and I’m ready to take everything that I’ve learned and, and help women who are in their forties and fifties. I would say most women who come to me are either on the cusp of 50. Okay. And they’re like you described, they have the, the younger children or the, the teens, the tweens. Mm-hmm. , they’re struggling with their weight, their, you know, their health. Uh, they don’t feel as good as they’d like. They don’t know where their joy is. They’re often struggling with you. Some, uh, food and alcohol issues, something, not that they have alcoholism or substance abuse or anything like that, but you know, they know that they’re drinking a little more than is good for them and they know that they’re eating and they’re doing it because that’s where they found satisfaction. Then I find women more on the custom 60 who are kind of looking into retirement, who are just really feeling like, where did my joy go? Where did my energy go? They’ve kind of been through menopause. Mm-hmm. , and they’re sort of at the end of the, of midlife and kind of like, Hmm. I’m. Where I wanna be right now. Can you help me figure out what that next chapter, sort of retirement, semi-retirement looks like? But that’s why I said there’s something about, I think turning 50, turning 60, that we do some soul searching.
Sharri Harmel: Interesting. So talk about your coaching programs because uh, I, I hear you probably coach one-to-one. Uh, you certainly do group coaching. You also have workshops that are what I call coaching ways, easy ways to begin the coaching process. But tell us about those.
Dr. Ellen Albertson: Sure. Well certainly one-on-one coaching. And this is where I really, you know, kind of think about myself as your one-stop shop for all your midlife needs. So certainly, mm-hmm. , you know, my genius zone is helping women transform their bodies, transform their relationships, transform their emotions, learning, uh, you know, really learning how to regulate your emotions, transform your mind, do a little bit of work on, you know, career and finding your passion and your purpose. So that’s sort of my one-on-one work. Um, I do workshops here and there. Um, so my latest workshop is an intention setting workshop. Why intentions are more powerful than than resolutions, you know, as we’re sort of in this New Year’s period, and I’m pretty excited that I’m actually working with my coach, realizing that, um, I’m going to actually start a membership program. So I am just gonna make, keep it real simple. I am going to have a membership community where people can ask me questions, where I. Do hot seat coaching and mini workshops, mini trainings on a variety of topics. Really doing that on an ongoing basis. So that’s something that I’m, I’m going to s uh, I’m starting to do in 2023, so that’ll be rolling out. I’m planning on going to Costa Rica, uh, the end of January, beginning of February, and then rolling that out when I come back from Costa Rica
Sharri Harmel: come back and, and tell people would they get involved by going to your website and checking that out when that’s, when that’s announced.
Dr. Ellen Albertson: Yeah, well, yeah, it’s, it’s out there in a variety of ways. I would say the best thing to do is you can contact me through my website if you wanna know more about it, cuz I’m still in the process. I think we’re, oh, there’s so many different plat platforms and ways to go about doing a membership program. So if you’re interested, there’s a contact box. They can reach out to me to know more about it. But I’m also reaching out to plat my platforms like Instagram and my Facebook platform, which is just Dr. Ellen Albertson. I’ll be sharing more information about that. Okay. And you can also, my YouTube channel will have a lot more information on that. That’s great.
Sharri Harmel: How do you manage when you run a business? This is the one thing that I think, uh, sometimes trips up solopreneurs. Um, when it’s your face that’s front and center, who’s the team behind you and how do you manage that team?
Dr. Ellen Albertson: Oh, that’s such a great question. Well, I’ll just be truthful. I suck at execution , so I done by you. I’ve done, you know, I, I have my, um, uh, I’m trying to remember the, the, uh, evaluation that I did, but, you know, doing all of the evaluations I’ve done over the years, when you’re a coach, you start using evaluations. You, I think we become coaches too, so we really understand ourselves. But that was a big revelation. I was always like, why do you start things? Not finish things. I’m not great at execution. I don’t have good attention to details. So certainly have a va you know, I have a team that takes care of, um, the media things that I do. My YouTube channel, my Instagram, my Facebook helps me out with that. That’s always in process.
Sharri Harmel: what do you mean? You know, because I, I find ’em hard to find. I find, yeah. Really good ones hard to find. And, and you have to have, tell me if this is true, if you’ve found this to be true. Very clear boundaries because it’s very easy to get out of control.
Dr. Ellen Albertson: You being out of control of your team. I think you’re right. You have to, uh, really find someone that’s good and, you know, don’t be afraid to like, let some people go if it’s not working out for you. I think the most important thing for me though, honestly, um, sherry is my health and wellness. And so one of the silver linings, I dunno if I mentioned it already, about, uh, having breast cancer, is I fired my workaholic and really connected with my inner child. And I’m putting my health and wellness first and managing my energy. And I actually, things I think are, I’m being more successful because it was a new way for me to work because I’ve been a workaholic my whole life. So I’ve really had to learn how do we get things done when I’m not killing myself, working all the time when I’m only working, you know, maybe only six hours a day or I’m not working at all on the weekends, taking three hours off, three, I mean three weeks off to go away so. just really understanding what’s important. I think having a good coach. So having, you know, I have a business coach as well who really helps me understand, like, I was going to do some courses in 2023, and then I was listening to my intuition. That’s another thing. Listen to your intuition. You know, if, if you’re working with a team and you’re realizing that things aren’t getting done the way that you want them to get done, and you’ve talked to people and you’ve set boundaries and you’ve told ’em that this is the way you want it done, it’s still not happening, then it’s time to, you know, to, to try something else. Um, but it’s really important to have a boundary with work as well. Mm-hmm. , unless you knows, I mean, I don’t know, for me, workaholism worked and then it until it didn’t.
Sharri Harmel: Yeah. Yeah. A, a pretty big message, uh, to get cancer and say something has to change, and that sounds like what the greatest message out of your cancer experience was. Is that true? Would you say so?
Dr. Ellen Albertson: Yeah, definitely. Um, and also, you know, just appreciating how great my life is. Mm-hmm. And really focusing. I used to focus a lot on the work because I wasn’t very happy with my personal life. But now that my personal life is so off, the charts fantastic. I’ve got a great partner, I’ve got great friends, I’ve got, you know, freedom to do beautiful things. I live on a gorgeous island in Lake Champlain, where it’s amazing here. We grow all our own food. I live across the street from the lake. We spend the, you know, summers swimming and kayaking and paddle boarding and sail. Um, having a blast. And I don’t wanna get to the end of my life and go, why didn’t you have more fun? Because, yeah, part of our purpose in life is to enjoy life.
Sharri Harmel: That’s, that’s huge. That’s really huge because we never really embraced that. It’s always the doing, doing, doing. Whether it’s being a mother, raising children, having the job, finishing the career, finishing the education, whatever. It’s accomplishment based where having fun. When have you been to a, a party where you asked someone what they do and they just said, I, I have fun.
Dr. Ellen Albertson: Well, that’s kind of our, the way, you know, our system, the way our system is. And that’s something when I work with women is really, um, I love when they finish working with somebody and they’re just like, wow, I love my life now. I found my joy again. I wake up in the morning, joyful with purpose, excited to start my day.
Sharri Harmel: Yeah. Yeah. I, I, how important, how important. That’s part of, I think it’s part of maybe the, the midlife awareness, self-awareness is to look for what’s right, what’s good, what you can create out of what you’ve got in front of you versus what isn’t working or what might not, you know, what might not happen or might not, what might I get, so to speak. So what do you think in all the women you’ve coached and the people you’ve had on the podcast? What are those, what are the biggest challenges in, in your mind, based on what you’re hearing that midlife women face?
Dr. Ellen Albertson: The, the biggest challenge is getting unsuck. Hmm. And it goes back to what I said earlier about the brain wanting you to stay safe. We like what’s known, uncertainty’s, unsafe. We don’t like uncertainty. Fear is a big factor. You know, whenever you do something new and you don’t have the skills, and I think as we get older, We’re more scared of falling. Like when you look at little kids, they make mistakes all the time. That’s how they learn and grow and the research, there’s a lot of research that, that it is much harder to sort of, to fail. We’re more scared of failure, endangered things when we’re older than when we’re younger. Um, and so there’s women at midlife. Most of the women who come to me are really. And there again, it’s interesting because, you know, I’ve been a dietician for 30 years at this point, and most of the women come to me because they’ve put on weight. And we don’t look at, we don’t go into, I don’t put anybody in a diet. We don’t like go really deep into the how to eat right, move your body. Although I do certainly give people, um, smart goals around those things. But we really look at how do we make your life awesome so that when six o’clock comes, you’re not just like that moment at six o’clock when I pour myself that drink and I turn on that flick and I open, you know, that bag of potato tips and I’m so blissed out looking for that bliss point. They don’t need that anymore. Because their lives are so rich and full that they’re not thinking about, you know, what am I going to eat? What am I gonna watch? So I think the biggest issue that what midlife women face is being stuck, it’s kind of like they always, they always say, you know, I’m comfortably uncomfortable. It’s like, you’re under, um, bare skin rug. You’re too warm and it’s too heavy. But, you know, there is that sense of feeling safe and secure.
Sharri Harmel: Yeah. Yeah. That’s really interesting. It’s, it’s, it’s beyond stuck to some extent because part of the stuckness, if we call it that, is, is almost a fear of failure, as you said. I loved how you talked about success.
Dr. Ellen Albertson: Yeah. Yes, yes.
Sharri Harmel: And little kids, you know, they’re, they’re not only are they comfortable falling down when they’re learning how to walk as an example, but they’re envisioning doing. They’re envisioning being successful at walking, they’re not going to give up. I’m only, you know, I’m only going to try this five times. Well, Dr. Allen, this was fantastic. I so appreciate your time today and I’m sure all of our listeners feel exactly the same way. So thank you. Is there any, anything you wanna close with, anything you wanna share that I’ve maybe not touched upon?
Dr. Ellen Albertson: Yeah, I would just say that, um, no matter what you are going through, you know, be solution focused and, and don’t be afraid to get some help.
There are great coaches out there. Therapists is a big difference between coaching and therapy. Therapy is really about, um, focusing on the problem, the mental issue that you are struggling with. And coaching is much more about who do you wanna be, what do you want, how do you get there? And a good skillful coach is really going to hold that vision for you and empower you to get there every step of the way.
Love it.
Sharri Harmel: Absolutely love it. Become the butterfly, right?
Dr. Ellen Albertson: Yes, absolutely.
Sharri Harmel: Well, thank you. So appreciate your time and, uh, all of your information will be down in the show notes. So thank you Dr. Allen. So much. Good information. Check out Dr. Allen’s website, the Midlife Whisperer, and that is a place where she has just absolutely loads of valuable information, coaching opportunities plus her podcast and YouTube channel, which are all listed down in the show notes Now, the Extraordinary Women Magazine is all about supporting women like you, who are choosing to not quietly fade into your next chapter, but actually designing one that in Energizes you, gives you purpose and fulfillment, plus a whole lot of joy. We are blessed with new opportunities at this stage of our lives, so let’s just keep on creating. When you subscribe to the Extraordinary Women Magazine, which is free by the way, you get the quarterly magazine, you get weekly blogs, you get opportunities to contribute to the magazine, be promoted on the podcast, et cetera, et cetera. The list goes on and on. So don’t hesitate. Don’t procrastinate, subscribe. Now. I wanna thank you for joining us today, and I look forward to our next Extraordinary Women Podcast.
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