Episode #98 Collaborations Create Extraordinary Energy!
Are you wondering about working with others to “create magic” in your business or life? Does the very idea make you nervous or excited? Collaboration means to work with someone to produce or create something, and yet it really is so much more. Healthy collaboration creates life-changing energy, benefitting your business and personal life in amazing ways.
In today’s episode, Sharri Harmel shares how collaborations with like-minded “extraordinary women” have infused energy into her business and made a positive impact on her mindset about working with others who also benefit from the collaboration.
Resources and Links:
- Sandra Sigman at Les Fleurs, Lesfleurs.com
- Listen to Ep #93: Sandra Sigman https://extraordinarywomenmagazine.com/blog/2022/06/26/talking-les-fleurs-with-sandra-sigman/
- Monica Michelle, BloomTV Network, https://bloomtvnetwork.com/
- Listen to Episode #91 Bloom TV Network with Monica Michelle, https://extraordinarywomenmagazine.com/blog/2022/06/13/bloom-tv-network-with-monica-michelle/
- Diana Wentworth, “Send Me Someone” and “Chicken Soup for the Soul Cookbook”
- http://dianawentworth.com/
- Jo Packham, Women Create https://womencreate.com/
- Amy Kupec-Larue, Garden Guide Paris, https://www.gardenguideparis.com/
Extraordinary Women magazine is the “must-have” digital magazine for women looking for inspiration, tips, and support to create a fabulous business, or just the next chapter. In a nutshell, for women who are ready to make their dreams happen.
Subscribe today! Extraordinary Women magazine
Connect with Sharri Harmel
Find this episode (and more) on your favorite podcast player at Extraordinary Women with Sharri Harmel
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Episode #98 Collaborations Create Extraordinary Energy!
Today we’re going to talk about collaborations… and why collaborations create extraordinary energy; whether you are launching or running a business or want to live an amazing life.
Back when I needed to find the right people to help my daughter with her learning issues, I was a great collaborator. One great tutor, teacher, or service provider led me to another. But somewhere along the way, my collaborations in other areas of my life, all seemed to become one-sided. I was the giver and my so-called collaborating partner the receiver.
When this happens, we back away, get super private and might even think we have to do it all alone. That is where my head was at around collaborations when I started my magazine publishing business. I felt I needed to do it all alone. Yes, I hired a great team – Sophie and Tina – but I held every other potential business relationship, a little at arm’s length.
Collaborations create good energy
About 6 months after starting the magazine, I started my podcast but still, I held back. You are going to laugh, but my first 70 podcasts were ALL solo podcasts. I wrote and recorded the podcasts with ideas coming from what I was reading. This was in the middle of COVID, so maybe not all that strange.
Then, this past February, I decided to bring in a podcast manager, because I wanted a guest or two. Well, that decision changed all my beliefs around collaborations.
Suddenly more people were listening to the podcast… and I was having a LOT more fun! I was loving these conversations with women. I’m a story gal and I loved hearing talking with women about the events in their lives that led them to start a business. Because of these guests, there was an energy around the podcast that didn’t exist when it was just me talking.
Collaborations do just that. Collaborations create good energy. We humans, and even introverts like myself, need people.
We’ve all heard the stats around the importance of having community around us as we age but the same is true when we are young. The rising violence within impoverished communities we’ve seen in the last three decades, is new and has been linked by many sociologists back to the growing lack of community. The rates of suicide, both young and old, has also been linked to our loss of community.
Growing personal and professional communities
How many of us know our neighbors? I don’t. Even though I live in a large condo building in Boston when I’m not in Paris, I have met only a few of my neighbors. I thought about doing a holiday open house just for my floor this December. So we see the systemic issues created by a lack of community, but how does that relate to collaboration in our businesses or our lives?
The podcast conversations began to change my business and my life because they actually began to grow a community around me – both personally and professionally.
Sandra Sigman from Les Fleurs introduced me to a woman who also lives in both Boston and Paris. We have a dinner scheduled to share stories and even advice around living our bi-cultural lives. That collaboration is growing a personal community around me.
From a business standpoint, when I opened up to collaborations, new ideas started to flow as new connections were being made. Honestly, I’m starting to believe and expect magic.
Don’t you love that phrase, “expect magic?”
“Expect Magic” is actually a phrase coined by Diana Wentworth, whose book “Send Me Someone” is now a newly released Hallmark movie. An incredible story!
Diana has lived her entire life with that “expect magic” mindset. We had a recent EW podcast conversation, and she shared that now at 80 years old, entering what she calls her “Encore Years”, living life expecting magic continues to bring her amazing opportunities.
How did I meet Diana? I was introduced to Diana by Monica Michelle who is one of the founders of BloomTV Network. Monica was an EW podcast guest and after the record button was turned off, we continued talking – and she said I had to connect with Diana as well as Jo Packham. Now Jo runs the very successful What Women Create magazines, podcast, and membership site. In my podcast conversation with Jo, we could have talked for hours but at 60 minutes, I had to turn off that recording button. Not many of you wants to listen to a 90-minute podcast!
In that episode, which is airing very soon, Jo gave me so many ideas of ways to grow the extraordinary women magazine that I had a silly smile stuck on my face.
But collaborations only work if mutual right? How did I add to these collaborations? After my podcast conversation with Sandra Sigman from Les Fleurs (who by the way was a referral from another lovely connection) I knew Sandra would be perfect for Bloom TV. So I connected her back to Monica at BloomTV. Then I interviewed Amy LaRue for the magazine, and again, I sent her to Monica at Bloom TV. It’s crazy… one connection leads to other leads to another… and that, my dear friends, is collaboration. I hope you can see the possibilities are endless. Now, you might be wondering how to make the most of collaborating with others.
First, you have to be very clear in who you are and what you do.
I don’t think I was always clear – so when I’d hear what someone else was doing, especially in the coaching world, I’d think – that’s cool. Maybe I could do that too, I should talk with them. Very naïve of me.
Rarely, if ever, do collaborations work between competitors. Target doesn’t collaborate with Walmart. Why would Mel Robbins want to collaborate with me when we’re in somewhat the same space? I’ve seen a few of those collaborations between solopreneurs I know of, and none of them have ended well.
So, know what your business is about. Clearly recognize who are your current or potential customers and then brainstorm who you could build relationships with that are in somewhat the same space but not competitors. If I’m creating coaching programs for new entrepreneurs, I don’t want to try to collaborate with another coach who is targeting that same population. If I have a Bespoke travel business, another Bespoke travel business isn’t an ideal collaboration. So, be clear on want your business is about and who is your target audience.
Personal collaborations are much easier and sometimes the more common interests, the better. But again, good collaborations always work best when you know yourself, your business and even why you want to collaborate with someone. That leads me to the second point.
Choose your collaborations wisely.
As you think about possible collaboration partners, consider the following points.
- It has to be a win-win for both parties. If one side of the collaboration is the giver and the other a taker, it sets up bad feelings, even with friends and family members. If you are the one who is constantly giving, I promise you, you will eventually start to feel used and ultimately, bitter. Plus, as I learned from my own experience, if you are regularly the giver, your gift or contribution often becomes an expectation of the receiver, maybe even an entitlement. Gratitude and warmth will get lost in those types of unbalanced collaborative relationships. So, always check in with yourself and evaluate your collaborations. Make sure you are both the giver and the receiver in the collaboration.
- Remember, collaborations ARE relationships, and ALL healthy relationships are based on a balance of giving and receiving.
Because I’m a coach and have been a coach for a couple of decades, it is natural for me to step into a coaching role, especially if friends or family ask for business advice. I’ve had a couple of close relationships become incredibly strained because I was asked to “coach” almost every time we got together. I even had one friend, who when I pushed back and said I needed to stop coaching or else he needed to hire me, actually laughed at me, and said we were just having “conversations.” I realized I had spent hours and hours, mapping out how the new idea could take form, brainstorming processes, talking about the market. For me it was not just conversations, it was flat out coaching. When you are giving away your intellectual property as I call it, for free, over, and over because it’s a friend or someone you care about, you are out of balance.
- Self-awareness is key to collaborations keeping a balance. I say that because in the example I just shared, I was equally at fault because I wasn’t self-aware enough to recognize what was happening. I needed to draw a line between my professional role/expertise and friendship, and I didn’t. So, like every relationship you have, your self-awareness will determine the success of the collaboration.
Now, you might be thinking, but Sharri, how does this relate if it’s not about a business? Here’s an example. Let’s say, you are a wonderful listener and natural caregiver. Those are your gifts. A friend or family member experienced some sort of significant loss. Maybe a divorce, a death of a partner, the ending of a career. Year one, you’re probably all in. You listen, you suggest, you support, you give. But, by year two, unless there is balance in the relationship, you’ll most likely start to feel exhausted because all the energy in the relationship is focused on the other person.
Collaborations, whether in your personal life or business life, need to be balanced and based on equal contributions. This leads to the third ingredient to building great collaborations.
Embrace your own insecurities.
When I sat down to create a list of people I wanted on my podcast, I came up with a blank. I thought to myself, who would want to talk with me? Same when I began the magazine. I didn’t believe anyone would agree to be interviewed. Sounds crazy right? Well, what was going on was that my own insecurities were running the show. I couldn’t imagine any possible collaborations because I was stuck in my “insignificant me” mindset.
So, if you find yourself drawing a blank when you try to come up with a list of people you could collaborate with – I want you to check in with your own inner securities.
Most people naturally like to help others and work in teams or partnerships. Imagine you are taking a long car trip, through an isolated part of the United States. Would you rather be all alone or would you like to have a co-pilot in the seat next to you? Most of us would say, I’d love a co-pilot!
Good partners can make us feel more confident we can make something happen. We are naturally braver when we have good people working with us. There is a significant difference between privacy and isolation. Starting a business or taking on your next big goal, takes a LOT of courage so collaborations, even at the beginning of your goal, are important.
And last, honor your good collaborations
Once you have a good collaborative partner, honor, and protect that relationship. The people who support you when you are starting out or working through the tough times of life, are invaluable and irreplaceable. Honor those relationships because they are invaluable.
Remember that saying that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with? Don’t spend time with people you have learned you can’t trust, don’t spend time with people who view your gifts, talents, and skills as common currency.
Instead, surround yourself with like-minded people. People who recognize the value of mutual collaborations. And as Diana Wentworth says… Expect Magic!
If you liked this conversation, please press the like button, subscribe, and share this podcast to other extraordinary women like you who you think would also enjoy this conversation.
And join our community of truly extraordinary women. We might seem to be a group of average women, but we are doing extraordinary things. That’s the key to creating a magical and purpose-filled life so I hope you join us. Take good care and as I say in Paris, A bientôt.
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