Podcast Episode 42: I’ve Changed and What’s going on?

Welcome Everyone. I’m Sharri Harmel, Coach and Editor of Be the Real You Magazine.

Today’s Episode is titled I’ve Changed and What’s going on?

I don’t know if it is because of COVID- but I’ve noticed that everything from the people I want to be around to the clothes I wear – have changed. It’s like the story of Sharri has shifted….and a new chapter or even a new book is opening up!

Are you noticing the same for yourself?

I’ll start with the clothes….

Last Tuesday night I hosted our very first Champagne Soirée. Ladies, it was so much fun. The conversation was supposed to focus on style but what was interesting is that the style discussion evolved. Several of the ladies on the call shared that they are unsure how to dress with the body they currently have versus the body they wished they had or used to have. I added in my little tidbit that I find comfort now trumps almost everything.

Stylist Sara Griot was co-hosting the Champagne Soiree with me, and Sara’s brilliant. She talked about how life changes over time, whether Covid or not. Bodies change, circumstances change, what we enjoy doing changes…. And that is exactly why we often have to go through our closets and edit! Pull out the clothes that no longer make us feel good AND that includes anything that doesn’t fit you today!

I don’t know about you, but I no longer have the space for my fantasy “someday” body. And my comment about comfort? Because you all have spent the last 1 ½ years wearing comfortable clothes as you worked from home, maybe you aren’t all that willing to return to the office 5 days/week or wear uncomfortable clothes ever again!

Well, I wanted to test out Sara’s suggestion, so after the soiree, I went to my closet and pulled out everything I hadn’t worn for over a year. Suddenly I realized much of the clothing I’ve saved, packed and moved with me are clothes I can’t or don’t want to wear today. Plus, I was shocked at how boring my entire wardrobe was!!

This is really weird given I’ve loved wearing black, grey, cream and navy for years maybe even decades. My only ode to color was in my scarves. Well, today I purchased a bright yellow purse with the same color earrings AND a couple of brightly colored dresses! Hello Frances Valentine!! Kate Spade’s brand if you don’t know it.

AND I wear tennis shoes!! Now they are cute tennis shoes, but tennis shoes are on my feet. I had to pause a few nights ago because I realized I was online shopping for cute dresses that I can wear with my tennis shoes – IN PARIS IN AUGUST! Now, Paris is the one place that I never ever wore anything that looked too casual, or too American, but that’s changed too. I don’t care about stereotypes; I’m going to dress my way! Doing things My way might just be the trend here.

This change even infiltrated my apartment decorating. Thank fully, nothing has gotten done. The trade professionals are either scheduled out to the fall or the products aren’t available. Now I realize that was a blessing. I have moved a lot – I’m one of those strange people who actually likes moving- but I have carted the same furniture and re-created the same homes all over the place. We’re talking the same color scheme, some of the same drapes and even the same wallpaper. My body though has been telling me ENOUGH!

Just like I’ve realized I’m craving more color in my clothes, the same can be said about the decorating of my home. I’ve been in love with Kit Kemp and her hotels for years and now I want to bring that same color and quirkiness into my home.

The old Sharri has left the building and the new one wants color, fun, a bit of quirk and most especially, I want to love the woman I am today…. flaws and all.

I’m learning self-compassion and I hope you are too. If you’ve found yourself putting up with life as it is and postponing what you really want for someday when the stars all align, give it up. Now is the time for you to create the life you want to live.

The big lesson of covid was to cherish the now. Be happy now. Love your life now.

I do hope you can relate to my next new awareness. Yes, my tolerance for discomfort and drabness in my life is much lower.

But even bigger, I no longer want to be around fakery, I no longer want to pretend something is okay when it’s not.

It’s like covid made my BS meter super sensitive and I cannot tolerate people, places or environments that are not real and nourishing to my life.

But I talked about learning self-compassion and therefore I want you to start with you. What do you often judge and criticize yourself for? Is it your weight? Is it the flaws in your face that you see when you look in the mirror? Is it that you were too strong or too assertive in a conversation and didn’t rein your greatness in?

Those thoughts are like evil friends that you just can’t stop meeting for lunch.

As you know, my passion and work are all about being real- but I’ve learned that you can’t be real unless you love the woman you are right now. Not the woman you will become when you lose the weight, eat healthier, save more money, find the fabulous partner…. you have to love and have compassion for who you are today or that future vision of what you want for yourself will never happen.

But it’s not easy to love who we are today especially because when you embrace the real you who you are today, things are going to change. As the amazing, Jennifer Hudson sang in Dreamgirls song I’m Changing- “I’ll be better than I am, but I need a friend to help me start.”

Ladies we all need support. Not just support to become your future self but support to have compassion for the woman you are today.

This is where Be the Real You magazine, podcast, courses and even Facebook group can help you. No one can accomplish change alone and that’s exactly why I’ve created what I have.

But, ladies, the rewards are truly fantastic. When you start to shift how you feel and the thoughts you think about the person, the woman you are today, you will instantly feel less stress and more happiness. Just like I now have happy feet because they now take me places in tennis shoes versus heels, your entire outlook on life will change the more you connect with the real you, love the real you and surround yourself with like-minded people.

Life will just feel good!

So, your homework for this week is to embrace with compassion the woman you are today.

And for ongoing and amazing support, I invite you to subscribe to the Be the Real You Magazine. Go to sharriharmel.com. The magazine comes out 4 times/year and we just published issue #2 and I heard from my readers how much they love seeing it appear in their inbox.

ALSO, I hope you take the time to rate this podcast. Podcasts are free, so what matters to huge platforms like iTunes, is whether you like the podcast. So, I invite you to subscribe to the podcast on iTunes- I have a new episode out every Monday and please do leave a review.

Thanks so much for listening. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media button on this page.

Take care and I’ll see you soon.

A bientôt.