Hello ladies and welcome to episode 41 of Be the Real You Podcast.
Are you Fun? If you don’t know the answer to that question, just ask the people around you.
I knew a long time ago, that I wasn’t all that fun. I remember when my father turned to me in one of “his moments” and asked me the question, “Do you ever have fun?”
Now, at the time, I found his question more than a little judgey and felt he was painting me as less than some of his other kids who I guess were fun, but I loved fun people (still do) and thought, aren’t I fun too??
So, the question is one that I still think about.
Part of being the real you, is a deep understanding of who you are.
And on the topic of fun, I have never been what someone would describe as a hysterically funny person.
Oh, I have a funny dry sense of humor, but I’ve accepted that no one is going to vote me in as the most fun person to have at a party.
But does that mean I don’t have fun? Absolutely not.
But what is fun?? Some people say they love their work, so that’s fun to them. That’s me! I love my work, but no matter how much you love your work, work and fun are different. So, if that resonates with you, maybe we should first talk about the definition of fun.
The dictionary says fun is light-hearted pleasure or enjoyment or amusement. But let’s go a little deeper and ask what are the requirements of fun?
You have to enjoy what you are doing.
You find yourself smiling or laughing with abandon
That you are completely in the present moment…. nothing outside of the moment is in your awareness.
And last, that it falls under the category of play.
Ummm…. work fell into all those qualities of fun except the last one.
Think back to when you were a child. When you had fun playing- whether it was a physical game like kick ball or making clothes for your barbie dolls- you weren’t thinking about anything but what you were doing in the moment.
It was an activity that you loved with absolutely no desired outcome. And that is the key ingredient to fun.
Fun and play means there are no to-do lists, no check offs and no desired outcome.
You and I might love our work, but it’s not in the category of fun because work always has a desired outcome.
That is why work is not in the same category as fun!
But I’m thinking …. if that’s the case, I might need to schedule in fun.
Seriously, some of us have to do that! (And for those of you who are naturally fun, you probably find that statement absolutely hysterical.)
But why is fun so important?
Well, some really cool things happen in our bodies and in our minds when we have fun.
- Play boosts your energy. When you play and have fun, you are energized to tackle whatever it is that you want to accomplish in your life. Play actually gives you the energy to accomplish more! If you often feel tired or even exhausted the first place to look is how much time in your 168 hours/week are devoted to fun.
- Your body produces serotonin when you play. Serotonin is that amazing chemical your body naturally produces that regulates everything from your sleep patterns to your mood. It’s a happy chemical. Science has proven that when you play, serotonin is released, and I don’t know about you, but I want an abundance of a happy chemical in my body.
- Why? And this leads to the third benefit….
Because of that serotonin, the effects of any stress I’m experiencing is lessened. I’m able to bounce back from stressful events and overall, I lessen the negative effects that stress has on my body. I love that.
That’s science, and I’m going to add one more benefit of fun.
Fun increases your creativity. So even if you’re an artist and you lose yourself in your creations, you’ll benefit by adding fun and play that has nothing to do with your art, into your life.
I get all sorts of ideas for my business when I have fun. When I had young children, it was through fun that I’d see them as little unique humans separate from my parenting role. Why? Because fun is like a reboot for your computer. It literally clears your mind of negative thoughts, and you start anew and often with new eyes just because of your experience of fun and play.
If you are struggling with negative thinking, start doing some playing. In my Recapture Joy mini-course, one of the mindset tricks I discuss is not just going for a walk but doing something fun on your walk, like breaking into a skip or marching down the street.
Why? Because adding a skip to your walk is essentially play! And because play releases serotonin, you’ll see possibilities rather than problems. How fun is that???
Now back to planning out fun. Try out different activities and be willing to be different. That’s what being the real you is all about.
For example. I live in Paris half the year, the city of almost unlimited museums, but …. I have accepted that most museums make me incredibly tired. In the beginning of my journey, I didn’t tell anyone this and yet, over and over I’d find myself in the museum coffee shop or restaurant with a coffee and a journal. I should write a book about museum coffee shops and restaurant. One of my favorites is in the Louvre in Paris.
When I accepted that museums were a total energy drainer for me, I wanted to figure out why, sure that I just needed to “fix something» and then I’d be an avid museum goer. But nothing worked. Standing in the crowd in front of the Mona Lisa, which is tiny by the way, I’d be paying attention to all the people…. where were they from, what language were they speaking, how were they dressed….and maybe for a second or two I looked at Madame Lisa, but it was mostly about the people visiting the museum not the art.
The only museum I have ever had fun in (and some sadness) was the Musée Nissim de Camondo, which I write about in the second edition of Be the Real You magazine, coming out on July 1st. That is a museum that completely engaged me. When I visited it, there were hardly any people in it but even more important for me, there was a story behind the house, the times, and the family who lived there. I have fun when I’m in a story.
That was play for me! I lost track of my own life when I was in that museum and THAT my friends is the definition of true fun.
So, when you are scheduling in fun …. and it might take you a while to figure out what is really fun to you, ask yourself….
- Are you energized by the activity?
- Do you feel happier and more optimistic when you do it?
- Do you get all sorts of ideas or see connections that you didn’t see before the activity?
Those are your clues to identify what fun is for you- and it might be very different from what you expected!
Maybe it’s trying out a new recipe, gardening, window shopping, playing with your children, watching a sunrise…. Remember though that to be truly fun- it must not have a desired outcome. Let yourself be in the moment as you do it and let everything else in your life get quiet.
So, what about you? How do you have fun? After you make your list, I invite you to share with everyone in our FB group. Not only will we get ideas from each other on ways to try out having fun, but you’ll make that first step to scheduling some fun into your 168 hours of each week.
On July 1st, the second issue of Be the Real You Magazine comes out! Woo-hoo!!
It is a fabulous issue. Two interviews with amazing women – Michele who is an artist and Jessica who is a health coach – both women have made the decision to honor who they truly are, use the gifts they have to impact others, and be happy!
There are also a couple of new sections I’ve added after hearing from our readers. A brand new style section that is written by the amazing stylist Sara Griot. I don’t know about you, but I need style help all the time. It doesn’t come naturally to me.
In addition to Sara, we’ve got a fun little summer drink recipe, a good book with my favorite tea, and my list of some of my favorite things which includes a LOT of fun.
Join us by hitting the subscribe button on sharriharmel.com. It’s 4 issues/year so you have the time between each issue to enjoy the articles and try out some of the suggestions.
This magazine will be just like your best friend…You’ll enjoy your time together, you’ll feel comfort that you’re not alone in your quest to be the real you, and you’ll get all kinds of ideas of way to support yourself.
So, join the excitement ladies and sign up for the Be the Real You Magazine if you haven’t already!
Thank you for your time today and remember, schedule in some fun this week and share your list of fun in our FB group!
And always be The Extraordinary, the unique, and the star that is you! Be The Real You.
À bientôt
Thanks again for listening and learning with me and remember to BE THE REAL YOU.
A bientôt.
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