Podcast Episode 31: What’s YOUR Heart’s Desire?

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Welcome to Episode 31 of the Be the Real You podcast.

I’m Sharri Harmel, Business and Life Coach – and founder and editor of Be the Real You Magazine

What is YOUR heart’s desire? I was sitting with my friend Valerie, after a long day of looking at Boston apartments to purchase, and she asked me

“What do you see yourself doing over the next ten years?”

I was sort of stumped. As a coach, I’m usually the one asking questions! Yes, what IS my (and your) heart’s desire?

Well, one of my heart’s desire is coming true, (moving back to Boston) but what else do I want to create in my life? What is truly important to me in my life?

How does my heart’s desire fit with me living as my real and true self?

“Your Heart’s Desire” is all about identifying what you truly desire. YOU! Not the desires that someone else has for you or what we used to say, the cool kids are doing, it’s what YOU want and that is the foundation of Being the Real You.

No matter what your age is or how accomplished you are, we can all be influenced by the opinions, beliefs and wants of others and end up chasing things that really aren’t aligned with our true selves. In Boston, looking at apartments, I almost drove over my own heart’s desire because of my love of old interiors and architecture.

Valerie is not only the best real estate agent I’ve ever known, but she also took great care of me and wanted me to see everything so that I could be absolutely sure of my decision.

One apartment was a newly renovated building with beautiful crown mouldings, a good amount of space and a gorgeous large kitchen with all the bells and whistles.

It was in Beacon Hill, so imagine the oldest section of Boston with uneven cobblestone sidewalks, street lanterns, and hills galore. The kitchen was fabulous and the fixtures in the bathroom, the closet fittings, and the space were all ooh-la-la amazing.

In contrast, the other apartment that I was seriously considering is in the seaport area, and has a very different history. In the 19th century, it used to be all wharves, where raw materials came off of ships. Things like the materials for textiles and leather making factories, plus a lot of fish.

In the 20the century, it was filled with grim looking warehouses and surface parking lots, sort of like a Gene Hackman scary movie. The big dig opened up the area and since 2016, has been totally reconfigured into something fabulous.

The redevelopment has included several hotels, loads of super fabulous restaurants, and a few condo complexes. It doesn’t have the old charm of the back bay or beacon hill, but it has the water close by, and in the re-development, they created a 43-mile walking and biking trail along the ocean called the harbor walk.

One apartment was all about what I was going to do inside the apartment and the other was about my lifestyle, incorporating what I’m going to do outside the apartment.

Decisions, decisions. I had to use one of my lifelines and call a friend.

I called Mimi, my sister/friend in Paris and ran through the options. Suddenly, just talking about the differences, I realized that because one of my goals is to get in better shape, be around people yet connected to business, the seaport was my better option.

But do you see how quickly I got my head turned by beautiful furnishings, historical buildings, and cobblestones?

So, what turns your head? A new title? Money? What other people find most interesting? The fantasy of something?

Using a lifeline helps. When you have a choice decision to make, call your coach or call a friend. You know in your heart what you should do but being able to share with a trusted friend as you go through your options is invaluable.

Here is my heart’s desire list and maybe it will inspire you to create your own list.

#1 Create and Nurture Friendships/Community in Boston and Paris.

I want to make new friends, expand my network while staying connected to my good friends who are in cities that I am not. I’ll be honest with you, staying connected is work. I’ve moved a good bit in my lifetime and often I didn’t work hard enough to stay connected with friends, many who were very important people to me at certain times in my life.

What I unfortunately had to learn is that once time passes without contact, people are not very willing to reconnect. Life moves on for everyone, not just you, so if you have people that are important to you, do the work to stay in contact.

We all need a support system around us, so what is yours? If it is just one person, think about how you can expand that to include others. And there are degrees of friendship. Some are your closest, dearest, most trustworthy of friends. I only have a couple of those.

Others will be people who enjoy doing some of the same things that you do. You enjoy them, but your time with them is spent doing the thing you both enjoy. You don’t sit around and have heart’s desire conversations with these friends. But as humans, we need all kinds of friends.

#2 Grow My Magazine

I want to grow my magazine into something that is BIG. I don’t know what that is going to look like or even what BIG means, but I want the magazine to help women, be loved and enjoyed by women, and inspire women to live, work and create as their real and true selves.

That’s my mission, but what’s your professional mission or passion? What do you want to feel good about? Who or what do you want to help while you are here on earth in this lifetime?

Loni Brown, an American in my first magazine issue, was driven to create her business out of a passion to help new mothers create healthy, non-toxic nurseries. When she was pregnant with her first baby, she discovered how many baby products are sold as natural, and yet are toxic. Her own experiences fueled her passion.

Another interview in my magazine’s first issue was with Amanda Godfrey, a super creative Brit who lives in Paris, and continues to share her creativity through interior design. If you wonder whether creating beautiful rooms and buildings is a true mission or passion, look at a few photos of Paris, the city where I live half the year.

Inspect a beautiful door, a gorgeous intricate railing, the detailed ceiling plaster work, a chandelier, a garden or a bridge which were each created by one person many, many decades ago, who had a vision and decided to share it with the world. Looking at the creations of others can expand our own creativity and certainly makes us happy.

So yes, sharing beautiful interior design is an amazing passion.

If you are feeling like you have no real passion or mission around your work, we need to talk because life is much too short to be going through the motions in life without passion.

#3 Enjoy exercise again.

Remember when I shared that my head was turned by the beautiful apartment with all the things, I love inside of it? I forgot that one of my biggest heart’s desire is to get back in shape. Covid, Minneapolis’ weather, loneliness, boredom … I have lots of excuses, but the end result is that I have lost the fitness accomplishments I had achieved when I first arrived in Minneapolis and I want them back.

Plus, just one weekend in Boston made me realize how much more I naturally get exercise in a big city. I don’t have to make a gym appointment to get moving. Steps are everywhere in cities like Boston and Paris. Homes are built upwards rather than wide. Walking and moving is part of life in a big city.

But if you don’t live in a big city, pretend you do. Create little ways you can incorporate more exercise into your daily life. Park your car far from your destination. Walk to the grocery store or coffee shop. Make yourself do jumping jacks as you move from room to room. Sounds a little nut but if incorporating more movement into your life is one of your heart’s desire, improvise!

Only three:

Now I only came up with three heart’s desires that I’m working on over the next 90 days. That was intentional. The brain can’t handle a long list. It wants to create a pattern because your brain likes patterns. A list of 10 is too hard for the brain to deal with and I want you to be successful in whatever your heart’s desire is – so start with three!

When I coach clients who are exploring which life/career option they want going forward, again, we explore only three options at a time. It’s so much more productive and easier when comparing or contrasting options.

So, get quiet and pick your top three heart’s desire you want to tackle over the next 90 days. Your heart’s desire will create the structure for what you do every single day. Let it be your compass and you’ll see progress every single week. In 90 days, your life is going to look different!

Now on the topic of the magazine, if you are a woman who is ready to be inspired, self-reflecting and likes to laugh a little, subscribe to Be the Real You Magazine. Go to my website sharriharmel.com and click subscribe. It’s only $29/year for four issues.

Like I said, you’ll be inspired by the stories of the women I interview, you’ll get a few self-confidence building tips, maybe a guest writer or two will share something about style or self-care, and I always have a good read with tea, where I highlight a favorite book, plus I always have a little article about my life reimagined in Paris, a glimpse of my life in the city of light.

Now, once you subscribe, if you have specific requests for the magazine, please tell me. I love hearing any and all suggestions from you!

Thank you for sharing your precious time to listen to this podcast. Do subscribe and please leave a review because reviews so matter!

But most important, connect with your heart’s desire. That is the doorway to exploring who you truly are and what it is you truly want. Be the Real You.

Take good care and see you soon.

A bientôt.