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Welcome to Episode 30! I can’t believe it is the 30th week I have done this podcast.
So, I have titled this episode AND my magazine Be the Real You, but what does be the real you actually mean? Well, that is what is what this episode is about.
Many of you might be wondering well, aren’t we all being our true selves out in the world?
Well actually, most people walk around pretending they are something that they are not. They might even have convinced themselves that what they pretend to be is actually true. We all know people like that, and some might even be in your family!
Often, the pretending is obvious, but for others, the real person is more hidden behind layers or curtains of “stories” they have created and shown to the world.
I named my magazine be the real you, because every woman who wants to live, work and create in this world as their real and true selves, needs support to do so. Why?
Because the people who make up our society wants us to pretend. Most groups of people really don’t like outliers of any kind. As I’ve talked about before, people are most comfortable with people who think like them, a consensus, which often results in a bit of group think whether it is at the office or even in your family. I remember back when I worked in higher education career offices, and how the questions I asked and even my comments that were based on my prior corporate experience, made my colleagues rather uncomfortable, especially those who had been around a long time. I was an outlier and outliers make people nervous.
If I had been my younger self, I would have been much more concerned with conforming, but I wasn’t and therefore looking back, being my real self, sharing what was going on in my head, made people sit up and take notice.
To stand in that place of Being the Real You, requires that you know what it is that you really want and who you truly are. Not the roles you play in your life, but who the real you are and stand confident in who you are.
When I was a young mother, I found that very hard to do. Honestly, I sort of lost myself being the wife and advisor my husband wanted me to be, trying to please my parents who were quick to tell me what I should be doing, and trying to help my daughter who had significant learning issues. My roles took over my life. Now I still had a sense of myself, but I knew that I had parked her quite far from my daily life. I didn’t know how to find the balance between my roles and the real me. Maybe some of you can relate.
As many of you probably know, this pretending and disconnecting from our real and true selves doesn’t happen overnight. It is a slow process and can happen at any stage of our life. Therefore, we all have to be vigilant because it can just creep up on you, regardless of your age. Now you know why I named my magazine, BE THE REAL YOU!
So, my advice is to tread carefully and stay connected to the real you, and never lose that girl. You are unique and special, and the world needs YOUR unique contributions. It is no one’s responsibility but your own to keep your dreams and goals alive but you need support to achieve that.
Life is filled with so many choices today, and if you don’t have support, it’s easy for you
to give in to the pressures of your family, your culture, or your community.
Together, let’s promise to give up listening to any of the should of’s we so very often hear.
We were never meant to entirely give up ourselves for others. Even Mother Teresa had goals and plans, and my guess is that she didn’t let others take them away from her by asking her to do this or that.
One of Mother Teresa’s quotes sort of says it all….
“yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.
So how do you make sure the real you are your compass and not the societal, family or cultural pressures around you?
Well, you have to get quiet in order to find that place inside of you that speaks with honesty and authenticity.
Start with writing down who you really are. Describe yourself as you see yourself and how others see you. Think back even to your childhood. What compliments have people given you? How did people describe you? What activities made you happy and excited. What were you good at? I say all this because we really don’t change much. We are born with certain talents and if we invest in those talents, they become our strengths as we move forward with life.
So, once you have a really good sense of yourself, your next step is to connect with your dreams and values in life. Did you always want a family of your own? Did you want a partner in life? What did you dream of creating? Doing? How important is having a career to you? What makes a job a career? This is all part of the exploration of what you really want. For so many of my coaching clients, that isn’t easy exercise, so take your time.
I had the opportunity to do all of this after my marriage ended. It’s hard work I must admit, but I call it fun work because the rewards are incredible.
Why? Because once you know yourself, every decision and choice will become clearer.
There will be no more should of’s…. When you have that internal compass of knowing your real and true self, you’ll know what’s right and what’s not.
You’ll feel much less doubt…. As you know in your core, what you are good at and what exactly what brings you joy.
No more leaving yourself behind the curtain of your roles. You will bring the real you to every role you have in your life, instead of the other way around.
You’ll be the unique mother, partner, corporate executive, small business owner, sister or neighbor that only you can be.
The why of my magazine is just that. I don’t want another woman to lose herself because the world needs you- the real you.
If this conversation speaks to you, do go to my website and subscribe to Be the Real You magazine. It’s only $29/year for four issues.
You be inspired by the stories of the women I’ve interviewed, plus there will always be some mindset or self-confidence building tips, a guest writer or two, and a good book as well as a glimpse of my life in Paris, France.
Also, if you have specific requests for the magazine, please to share. I’d love to hear from you!
Thank you for sharing your precious time to listen to this podcast. Do subscribe and please leave a review because reviews so matter!
But most important, do the exercises I mentioned today. Explore who you truly are and what it is you truly want. Be the Real You.
Take good care and see you soon.
A bientôt.
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