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When we stretch our bodies, it doesn’t feel like much is really happening. Maybe we feel a little more flexible but usually it’s not noticeable on a day to day basis.

But like so many things in our lives, it is the cumulative effect that is significant.

Last week I did my second Instagram Live and my very first Instagram Reel.

I was so nervous, I could hardly breathe and talk at the same time.

When I looked at my posted videos, I didn’t even listen to what I said because I so busy critiquing my appearance….my hair, my face…. what is my mouth doing, and oh my, look at the double chin?

Then I put my phone down and asked myself what am I doing? Everyone who knows me, sees all of me…. the face, the wrinkles, and even the double chin- and yet they don’t abandon me because I don’t have the face, I had ten years ago!

I share this because doing Instagram Lives was a HUGE stretch for me….and instead of celebrating that stretch, I became self-critical.

This often happens when we stretch ourselves into new ways of being, new ways of showing up- and because we don’t do it perfectly the first time, it is super easy to be self-critical and retreat back into our old comfortable ways of living.

But- because I have a wonderful circle of colleagues who are all trying to stretch- I did a second Instagram Live and honestly it was a teeny, tiny bit easier.

So how to get started?

First, figure out what you really want- the Real You- not the mother, wife, partner or professional…. the real you under all those roles- what does “she” want?  Write it down and post it wherever you need to see it to be reminded of what it is that YOU want.

Now commit to it.

As women, we tend to focus on needs of others, their goals, their dreams….I want this to be about YOU and I want you to focus on YOUR goals with as much commitment as you focus on the goals of the people you care about.

And accepting that body flexibility is only attainable with daily practice, so too is stretching yourself to achieve whatever it is that you want in your life.

So, what can you do every day that is a tiny bit uncomfortable?

At the start it might just be putting 30 minutes into your calendar that has your name.

It could be scheduling in a walk by yourself every evening.

Or could be making yourself a smoothie in the morning instead of eating the pastry.

If your goal is to start a business, it might be scheduling a conversation with someone you might collaborate with on the business idea you have.

Let’s get uncomfortable.

Second, accept discomfort.

Yes, stretching those hamstrings or worse- getting on a foam roller is uncomfortable and even painful at first!

So too is stretching yourself. Ladies, we have to accept that. Growth always involves some level of discomfort. Think of a baby learning to walk. Lots of tears and finally they can walk without falling down.

So, if we travel back to my story about how I was critiquing my wrinkles and double chin, it was uncomfortable AND It would be SO MUCH more comfortable to stay hidden and invisible BUT that won’t move me towards my goal to grow my business.

So, I’m accepting my own discomfort and at the same time, I’m cheering myself on every time I complete one more FB live.

Which leads me to my third point, we have to acknowledge ourselves to ourselves.

Give yourself a pat on the back when you complete something that was new, different and a bit scary. YOU DID IT! We all need a cheering squad, which I’ll get to in a minute, but even more, we need to acknowledge our own baby steps to ourselves.

My fourth point. You need a cheering squad.

The great coach, Mel Robbins says you need a Dream Team of Five and one of them is a cheerleader.

I am a part of a mastermind coaching group and I often do my Instagram lives after our calls because those women make me feel so confident and capable, I’m ready to go live after our calls.

So, start with finding your cheerleader. Everyone needs one. You are probably the cheerleader to lots of people you care about, but who is cheering you on?

I want you to think of who that could be and actually ask them for what you need.

One of the very important components to my upcoming course will be the comradery of women on our weekly live coaching calls. Doing a course in isolation is almost impossible to make any lasting changes in our lives. I’ve signed up for many of them and by week two or certainly, by week three, I’m disengaged. Because of my own need for personal connection and feedback to get me and keep me moving, I’ve incorporated that into my Mindset to Joie de Vivre course that will be launched in early 2021. If you’re interested, just join the wait list so you’ll be the first to know when the course is ready.

Back to your cheerleader. I encourage you to tell your cheerleader what your goal is and ask them for what you want from them.

Asking for what you want might even be your first uncomfortable exercise!

I promise you though, that each uncomfortable exercise becomes a little easier if you keep on stretching.

So, to summarize…

Figure out what the REAL you wants and commit to it.

Embrace feeling uncomfortable.

Acknowledge yourself TO yourself.

And last, Find a cheerleader.

I’d love to hear from you. Join my Facebook group and share what’s on your list of uncomfortable activities you are going to take one. 

If you enjoyed this podcast, please leave a review and join my subscriber list and receive notice when a new podcast is posted.

So, keep on Stretching and Have a great week.

A bientôt!

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