Episode 88: Jeepers Creepers, It’s Imposter Syndrome, Again!
Today on the podcast, Sharri Harmel talks about the dreaded “imposter syndrome” and some ways you can push back when you start to hear those internal thoughts of self-doubt. The definition of “imposter syndrome” is severe self-doubt. Its primary symptom is questioning your abilities to accomplish whatever it is you are trying to make happen regardless of your intelligence, your talents, you’re training or even your prior successes! It’s a stumbling block to your success, and there are ways to defeat it!
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Episode 88: Jeepers Creepers, It’s Imposter Syndrome, Again!
Yes, yes… you’ve battled it before in your life and you thought you worked through it, but imposter syndrome is sort of like the cold virus. It hangs around while you are feeling good and just when you are feeling a little bit shaky or starting a new project or even getting ready to publish that blog post or Instagram channel – bam, it’s there!
Imposter syndrome can come on – just like a cold – when you’re taking a new job, traveling to a new location, moving, filing for a divorce, you name it… and all of a sudden, it’s there. It’s basically the little voice inside of you… inside of all of us… that says you can’t do whatever it is you want to do.
Imposter syndrome is in essence a virus of fear.
Fear of failure, fear of mistakes, fear of shame, fear of embarrassment… all those fears that you can feel when you are changing something in your life, but most often when you are trying to step onto a bigger stage. And starting a business, ladies, IS stepping onto a much bigger stage, which is why imposter syndrome will show up with each new and bigger step in your business.
One of the most prevalent by-products of imposter syndrome, especially for entrepreneurs is procrastination. I talk to so many women who are stuck in procrastination.
Do any of these self-doubt statements sound like you?
“It’s not the right time to launch this, but I’m not sure when… so I continue to think about it, watch others launching their programs but I’m just not sure, so my idea stays in my notebooks.”
“I don’t know enough yet to bring it out into the world… so I’ve signed up for another course or program, maybe even though I’ve already signed up for several previous programs and got nothing out of them or I have to talk to more people to learn more.”
“I’m just not good enough… I had better re-write my blog, re-do the quiz, re-design the program or product I want to launch.”
I can speak to imposter syndrome because I’ve done more than a few of the mentioned patterns, and as I said in the very beginning of this podcast, imposter syndrome is like the cold virus… it’s never “one and done. “
I’m working hard to grow this podcast and my Extraordinary Women Magazine Circle… and there are days when I’m frozen in self-doubt and that imposter syndrome voice says, “Sharri, WHAT are YOU doing? You should be satisfied, you have no specific talents, you’re just a mediocre woman of a certain age – be satisfied!”
See, imposter syndrome is going to show up in your thoughts whether or not you have the best emotional health toolkit in the world! So, what can you do when you get that “virus?”
Argue with it.
Yep, you heard that correctly… argue with it! Have a conversation with that part of you… and its super fun to do it when you are walking… I do this sometimes… and I’m oblivious to what the people around me must be thinking because I’m deep into the conversation. If you have to… put in some ear bobs and pretend you’re having a conversation with another person instead of that voice inside your head.
To fail means you had to try
Let’s go through this…
“It isn’t the right time to launch this project, but I’m not sure when will be, so I’ll continue to think about it.”
Really? Here’s the conversation you’re going to have with yourself….
“Isn’t it depressing to watch others launch programs or products, while you do nothing? Did you know that 60% of adults are creating or thinking of creating a side gig? Your idea might be one of the best ideas in the world, but if it stays in your notebook, it will disintegrate with time….it will be as though you never had that great idea!”
Think about all the products and programs that are launched that fail? We rarely ever hear about the failures except that we’ve just gone through two years of a worldwide epidemic and remember back when they tried to find a vaccine? Failure after failure. The drug industry, the medical device industry, even the plant/food industry… plus many others… are ALL based on failing. One failure after another.
I recently heard that in Sara Blakely’s family (Sara started the Spanx company), her father often asked the children at the dinner table, “How did you fail today?” Now I don’t know if that was actually true, but I love the question. To fail means you had to try something… so I guess I’m advocating failure! Sara did mention in a podcast interview that as entrepreneurs, we have to work on our mindset every single day… that alone will differentiate you from other entrepreneurs.
So, my entrepreneurial peeps – embrace failure and even learn to celebrate failure!
You know all you need to know to launch something small
The next arguable imposter syndrome behavior is
“I don’t know enough yet to bring it out into the world”
Oh, this is another one of my own. I have signed up for more programs than I want to count. Each was going to be “the answer” to creating a profitable business that I wanted.”
Your response? You know ALL you need to know at this moment to launch something small. If you are thinking of launching a cooking school, start by launching one class making your favorite dinner. If your business is about becoming an influencer for the over-40 woman, start with one YouTube video or one blog. Just start… and your conversation with yourself will include questions like,
“So, what can I learn from my launch? How valuable will that information be? If it doesn’t fly, what’s the worst that can happen? Could I get information that I won’t get if I continue to sign up for courses and workshops?”
I’m a part of Ryan Levesque’s business coaching program and my first two quizzes failed miserably… but I learned, and my third quiz was a winner! The argument you’re going to have with yourself is that
Doing nothing, teaches you nothing. And doing nothing only contributes to more self-doubt.
Maybe I’m not there yet, but I’ll learn by doing
Last is the “I’m not good enough” imposter syndrome thought. Again, I’m speaking from experience here, ladies.
But what happens if you flip that question… to a statement like, “I’m good enough now to launch but I’m also going to get better with every try.” If you change the perspective of “I’m not good enough,” you’ll see that beautiful desire inside of you to always improve, to always get better at something.
So instead of saying, “I’m not a good enough writer to write a winning blog,” say to yourself, “Maybe I’m not yet, but I’ll learn by doing.”
When I started this podcast, oh my, I really had no idea what I was doing. The sound was horrible, and the writing probably worse. But I learned and I’m still learning. Experience is the best teacher.
Sometimes we only judge successful people by their hyper-successful products. I have to remind myself of this all the time when I look at people who have created businesses I admire. But did you know…
- Stephen King started submitting book ideas to editors at age 14.
- Diana Nyad successfully swam from Cuba to Florida without a shark cage at age 64 after FIVE tries!
- Vera Wang failed at several careers before she started her successful wedding dress designing business.
- Arianna Huffington, J.K.Rowling, Elizabeth Arden, Maya Angelou, even Abraham Lincoln all had failure after failure before they became the household names we know them as today
….and the list goes on.
So, my fellow women entrepreneurs, accept that imposter syndrome will show up in your life. Avoiding it isn’t the goal. It’s like thinking you will never get the common cold. When it arrives, create a dialogue with it, argue with it and then move forward.
I’ll leave you today with a quote from Jack Canfield about failure that I think perfectly fits our conversation today:
“Don’t worry about failures, worry about the chances you miss when you don’t even try.” (Jack Canfield)
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Have a super week and I can’t wait until our next conversation.
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