Transcript:

Episode 83: A Conversation with Beth Djalali

Sharri Harmel: Hi everyone. And welcome back to the Extraordinary Women podcast. I’m Sherry Harmel, founder, and editor of the Extraordinary Women magazine, the must have digital magazine for women, looking for inspiration, for tips and support to create a fabulous business, or just an amazing next chapter.

In a nutshell, this is a tool for women to make their dreams happen in the Extraordinary Women magazine and podcast. You’ll hear stories of women who are not celebrities, but real women like you and me who have chosen to create and live lives of true authenticity and passion, but they focus in on doing making and creating the magazine.

And the podcast is for women who are acting on their dreams. The magazine though is much more than interview. Like this podcast it also has a coaching bent to it. I’ve been a coach for a long time. So, there are tips, ideas, and insights, and even a dose of inspiration to help you to create your big, audacious dream. Life is short. Life is so short. So, let’s get started making this the year, your best year ever. I love that statement. 

Well, today I had the immense pleasure to interview Beth Djalali from Style at a Certain Age. Beth began her business in her mid-fifties. After raising her three boys, feeling maybe a little invisible, she began writing about the ways women can feel attractive, strong, and even chic, whether you’re 42 or 72 years old, her mission is about aging with grace strength and beauty.

I love that that started with fashion and then added skincare as well as the importance of those lifestyle habits of exercise and healthy eating. What began as a blog has now grown to almost 200,000 YouTube subscribers and over 252,000 Instagram followers.  In our conversation, Beth shares that it’s never too late to begin something.

Beth says, even if you think everyone has written that book or created that blog or product, you bring something special to your customers that no one else has. And she also shared, I thought this was so cool that her decision to start her own business has added so much joy to her life. What I so loved learning in my conversation with Beth though, is that she is real. She is real and authentic in every way. So, let’s begin. 

Sharri Harmel: Today, I am welcoming Beth Djalali. Beth runs an amazing program called Style at a Certain Age. And just so you know, I followed you before I ever thought about starting a podcast, Beth, because I was at that age where, you know, I’d been stay at home mom also, and I was into sweatpants and leggings. I just didn’t have time. I didn’t think about taking care of myself. And then I found you and it’s like, oh gosh, it’s almost like I had to relearn. So, tell us a bit about your business. What’s your business is and who it’s for?

Beth Djalali: Sure. Well, I accidentally fell into all of this when I was 56 years old. And at the time. I didn’t read blogs. I wasn’t that cognizant of them. My husband was alive at the time, and we were living in San Francisco, so it was 2015. I was trying to get into the publishing world as a writer. And that is how I stumbled on the social media and then blogging in particular then, which launched my business.

But I had written a book actually, when I was 50, we were living in Shanghai, and I had two of my children while at university. And so, I saw, okay, what’s next? What’s next for me? But I’d stayed home for 26 years, and I was paralyzed. Do I have to go back to school? I don’t want to go back to school! Who’s going to hire me? I have skills, but how are they translatable? And honestly, corporate America does not reward or give you any bonuses for staying home and raising functioning human beings. But that’s a whole other topic, but I’ll give you the Reader’s Digest version. So, I decided I was going to be a writer and write a book which actually really it segues into blogging very succinctly because there is quite a lot of writing that you do with blogging, but having no idea, I’d never written a book before. It actually took me awhile to research it and to finish my book. And so, I snagged an agent from New York and that was the first time anyone had sat me down and said, you need a social media presence, especially if you want to be a writer, if you have a book coming on the scene, because this was back in 2012.

And so, we’d had the crash of 2008. So publishing, it changed me. A lot of things were really starting to change. And when he sat me down, I was like, “well, I think I have five Facebook friends” and he’s like, go find some more. I’m like, well, I just figured out how to write a book, you know, go figure something else.

That’s what we were living in San Francisco and the first book didn’t get picked up. So, I was writing the second book and actually I haven’t published any books because blogging came along and social media and all of that. And it really just, you know, it took up, you know, every minute of my day, because I was on such a steep learning curve with, you know, with this industry.

But anyway, so in 2015, because I had put the social media presence on the back burner because the book didn’t get picked up and also I was really struggling with, well, what can I speak authentically to, I can’t just be on because in 2012, Twitter and Facebook were the big social media channels and it was me just trying to figure out, okay, how do I segue into this environment in a very authentic way. 

So, I’ve had this my entire life, I’ve had people comment on my home decorating. They love it. And they also love my style. And I just had a, just a random woman stops me. Loved my outfit, asked me if I was a stylist and I was almost finished with my second book. So, I was thinking about social media presence again. And I was like, that’s it?

I was aware of the 20 somethings posting outfits of the day. I was like, I can do that. I can speak authentically to them. This is what I’m going to do. So, from that very first outfit, I mean, it just took off in ways that I never expected because I didn’t know it could be a business. I didn’t know you could monetize it.

I didn’t know. I was just putting it out there so I could tell my agent, I had a social media presence, but then fast forward to 2022. And it’s a, it’s a thriving business. It’s just been crazy. But the first few years were very daunting because I’m not that tech savvy. I think many women and men of our generation are not tech savvy.

It doesn’t come naturally to us as it does to our children or even our grandchildren. So, it was a very steep learning curve, but I think I’ve, I have a fairly good idea of, of all of the end of the blog and social media and all of that. But today’s Style at a Certain Age, it serves a demographic, a very under-served demographic, and that is the 50 plus woman.

I think you just briefly stated this when you started following me. I think that when we become a certain age and especially in years gone by, we really just kind of vanished. We just became invisible and I still have so many women come and tell me that they’ve really struggled with, you know, how to transition from how they dress in their thirties and forties to how they dress today and that they honestly, when they walk into a room, they really do feel perhaps they were getting all the attention, all eyes on them when they were younger, but they’re feeling left out somehow. So, and definitely brands have left us out for many, many years, but that’s changing, but that’s, you know, we are really pushing the, you know, the boundaries back.

So, but when I really came on the scene, it was just to give inspiration, it was just style, inspiration. And then once I realized how underserved we are, so it was, you know, so for me it was like, okay, how can I best serve this demographic? In other ways, just besides style inspiration. And for me, it’s very important because I’m aging, you’re aging.

Every single person that’s alive on this planet is aging. Actually, that’s the one thing that we have in common, every single human being, you know, across is all, you know, all, all demographics, all, you know, gender, race, whatever we are all ages. So that is a very unifying thing, but it’s been perceived in a very negative way for so many years.

So, for me, my mantra is aging with grace, strength, and beauty, because we need all three of those things. I try to bring that to my, to my reader, to my viewer. I mean, whichever channel we’re discussing, and it is my mission. And of course, we have to get up and get dressed every day. Right? We might as well look as best we can. 

Sharri Harmel: So yes. I love, I love that. You talk about the fact that the similarity, we all have no matter where we are at, where we live, demographics is we’re in the line. So, to speak, we just don’t know when we’re going to be called to the next, whatever you believe. But so many women feel as though we have to like, try to move back in the line, you know, like, uh, back to where we were before.

I’m not opposed to plastic surgery, but going that route or, or even how we dress, you know, my mother who recently passed away, had a beautiful figure right up to the point that she died. But she often dressed as though she was still 35 because she had great legs. So, it’s like, what do you do in your blog as well as your YouTube?

And we’re going to talk about those too, because your YouTube channel is extremely successful. How you communicate to women and encourage women. And, you know, I can’t compare myself to a 25-year-old nor can I compare myself to what I was at 25. I am where I am. How do you do that? How do you communicate that?

Beth Djalali: Well, I think it’s very, very important just to look at where society has boxed us in and for so many years. And I actually saw this when I first started blogging because I had gray hair. I went gray. I mean, I discovered my first gray hair when I was 17. So, it really was not, I had quite a long time to get used to gray hair. So, then I never dyed my hair. I always really just put, highlights into reveal it rather than conceal it. But wow. I was 50. My hairdresser said we’re just really putting in the same highlights that your hair is naturally. Let’s just go, let’s go natural.

And I was like, great. And I never regretted looking back, but I was very aware when I first started blogging in 2015, because there were very few gray hair models or bloggers. And I used to get a lot of s**t because of how I looked. Because as women, we’ve been taught as a society that gray hair equals old.

And we as a society value looking young at all costs. And I was like, this is ridiculous. I’m sorry. Younger does not equal, better. Younger is younger. It’s great. I loved being young. I admire, you know, the 20 somethings 30 somethings every age has something wonderful to offer, but, you know, so does 50 to 60 to 70.

So, that was my first encounters of what society has put us in this box, especially women. And that we have been taught for so long. To look young at any cost. So, either we’re going to look young at any cost, or we tend to go the opposite way where it’s just all about being age appropriate, which I don’t even know what that means.

I have no idea what age-appropriate means because I would, when women come in and tell me that it doesn’t look age appropriate, or, I mean, I get both. I get, oh, you look so age appropriate. Oh, you’re not age appropriate, but I’m like clothes have sizes. So, for me, it’s been very important to look at what society has been telling women all these years, and then just start to push those boundaries back.

One of the things that I love to encourage, and we have so many choices in the 21st century, you may feel very confident wearing this outfit, but somebody else might not, again, we’ve been trained and women, we can be very hard on each other. If it’s not to their liking or to their tastes, we tend to be very negative and want the other person to change, you know, according to what our rules are.

And I just really gently remind everybody that, hey, the rule is, there are no rules. I mean, of course, is there appropriate? Absolutely. I’m going to wear a certain outfit. When I go to a wedding, I will wear a certain outfit. If I attend a funeral, I will, you know when I head to the beach or. Right. You fill in the blank.

So yes, there is appropriate, but I truly don’t believe that there is age appropriate. And so, I just gently, and I also just want women to be, I want us to be supportive of each other. Yes. And especially as we age, because there, again, it can’t just always be about, of course we want to look the best. We want to feel the best.

We want to be the best version, but there’s a lot that goes into that psychologically. It’s not just, you know, putting an outfit on or, you know, putting makeup on it. There’s a lot that goes. Into aging with grace strength and beauty. So those are some of the things that I, I just try to share to be the best version.

So, it’s to be the best version. I’m 63, this is my best version is going to look different than another 60-year-old. So, let’s be kind, let’s not just start saying, oh, you know, you look so old. I mean, why is that bad? And that’s also one of the things, well, why is that bad? Why, why am I fearful of looking old? Because guess what I am! 

Sharri Harmel: You mentioned that your husband’s career must’ve taken you all over the world because you were in Shanghai, San Francisco. Now you’re in Athens, Georgia. I’m assuming there were lots of other places also. But how did all those different cultures, or do you think those having exposure to those different cultures actually impacted the way you looked at aging, especially for.

Beth Djalali: I don’t know if it impacted how I look at aging so much as just breaking down a lot of barriers. And Mark Twain said it best that travel is fatal to prejudice, because when you are introduced to another culture and you truly let that culture be what it is, not try to change it, you know, like, oh, I’m American and I’m living in China now, but, and you know, I, but I still want all of my American standards.

Once you let that go, once you see how another culture lives and works and really is, it’s very eye opening. And, and my late husband, he was in the hospitality business, but he also grew up in Europe and he was very exposed to many cultures. And so, when we married and were moving around the world and different places in the United States, it just really opened up my eyes, I think, to be flexible and I think that does tie into aging, but it just really opened up my eyes. There’s more than one way to live your life. You know, it’s not just the American way. It’s not just the Chinese way. It’s not the Vietnamese way or the Austrian way. And it was very impactful actually to, to live overseas and to learn how to be flexible, because you will have to be flexible. When you travel, but definitely when you live in another culture.

Sharri Harmel: Yes, totally. I live in Paris half of the time!

Beth Djalali: I read that. I admire you.

Sharri Harmel: Gosh. But you’ve lived all over the world, but it is, you’re absolutely right. It is completely different actually living in a place versus going and staying in a hotel, sitting in a cafe, and watching people. Right? We’re both blessed that we had the opportunity to go to places and actually live there. But it does change you. I agree. 

Sharri Harmel: There was something you said though, so go backwards a little bit too. Okay. You started the blog and the blog; I’m assuming you did it like on WordPress or whatever. How did you get that out? Because YouTube didn’t become a thing for quite a while. 

Beth Djalali: Right? I was even kind of late to the game to YouTube, I think. And actually like, even when I started was like, is it too late to start a YouTube channel? Or, even like Instagram is very big as well. And I’m over an Instagram. I mean, it’s never too late to start anything, right. It’s never too late, I don’t think!

Sharri Harmel: It’s that “Oh my God. I missed it. It’s left the station.”

Beth Djalali: Right? Exactly, exactly. That’s and actually, I mean, I’ll just take it back when I was writing my first book. And one of the things that I was faced with was, “oh my gosh, there’s so many authors, so many accomplished authors, so many successful authors, how, you know, how am I going to, you know, fit into this?” And then it was like, “you know what, there’s always room for one more good book.”

There’s always room for one more good Instagram channel or, you know, I mean, fill in the blank. I mean, I’m just relating it back to me, but there’s always, room and it’s never too late, but just with my blog, which was very daunting actually, because WordPress at the time was, I mean, you almost needed a programmer, a degree. I mean, you almost needed a computer science degree because it was very code oriented at that time. It’s really, it’s come a long way and they’ve, you know, they’ve really streamlined things. Thank goodness. But it was very daunting at the time and I’m, and, and honestly, that was one of the things it’s like, I don’t think I’m ever going to figure this all out, but I just kind of, I I’m just that type of person, I’ll just jump in, give it, you know, give it the old college try.

And if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. But I’m like, well, if everybody else has figured it out, I think I can too. Um, that’s just my mentality. So now it’s gotten a lot easier.

Sharri Harmel: There’s two important pieces to that. Now, you know, for anyone who’s listening to this, now their children are launched and they’re thinking of starting a business of their own or some other transition in their life.

And they’re saying, now’s my time, is to really fight that mindset that you have missed the boat and shifted into “why not, there’s me!” And there’s nobody like me. And therefore, why not? There’s room for one more author, one more style blogger or one more blogger period. Because they talk about how blogs are dead and yet, blogs are back actually. Oh, technology and “embracing that can do attitude.” Thank heavens. They’ve made things more user-friendly than they were 15 years ago or whatever. Even five years ago. So, we can do this or hire somebody. If that’s something that’s going to keep you, why not hire somebody? If that’s going to hold you back.

Beth Djalali: That’s a very good point because that’s very important because you have strengths. I have strengths, you tap into that. And so, what you don’t like to do, or perhaps what are your weaknesses, that’s where you look for help. And then that’s when, you know, when you really bring somebody on that loves to do that and is good at it. And it makes you bigger and better. Yes. 

Sharri Harmel: Your blog now goes out to people who are on your email list, basically. 

Beth Djalali: They come from all sorts of ways. So, I do have an email list. I have a very healthy subscriber list, but they also will come through social channels. So Facebook, we have a big presence over on Facebook. Instagram is a big channel as well, and even my YouTube community will come over and they’ll read the blog too. And then just organic search, you know, SEO is very important. So that’s the search engine optimization. So, the keywords and that’s very, very important. There are certain topics that are very SEO friendly.

And as the blog has grown, we really try to have those articles that focus on aging rather than just an outfit. Of course, we always talk about the outfit or what I’m wearing. We have expanded tremendously to two other topics to true 

Sharri Harmel: I would imagine doing the photographs and I love that you said your husband was your original photographer. I thought that was so, so beautiful. And so obviously he really supported you doing something and creating something. He was, sounds like, a wonderful cheerleader. When you said I have to do this? 

Beth Djalali: He was, he was amazing.

And actually, he was a brilliant businessman and he taught me so much as, especially in the early stages of the game and really trained me and helped me home in on the business skills that I needed to run a business. So, it’s not just, you know, I mean, I am a content creator and I love that aspect of it because I’m a creative person at heart, but you really do have to be a savvy businessperson out there.

So, he really was so great. Taught me so much. And yes, he was my first photographer. Now we joke that, you know, if he were still alive, we would have had to put him on the bench. He would have willingly gone on the bench, he was a very good photographer, but he had really no interest in like all of the nuances that are so important to photos.

So, which, you know, the photographers that I have on board now, they’re amazing. And, you know, professionals in every sense of the way. So yeah, we always laugh about that, but he did. He did, he knew way back when I was struggling when I was fifty and trying to figure out what I was going to do for the rest of my life, he was the one who was completely confident. He’s like, I have no idea why you are being so scatterbrained here that you don’t think that you can do anything, he was like, I know you and you’ll figure it out. So, he had full confidence.

Sharri Harmel: I love that. Sometimes we have to have those, maybe always we have to have that, cheerleader.

Especially if, if we deal with any kind of self-doubt along the way, which everyone does, we all do. So how, how did you, so taking the photographs is very different from being on YouTube. Tell us about that transition. Like when you decided to go onto YouTube and now, we’re talking videos and now you’re speaking and you have a lovely speaking voice, but still, you have to ad lib on I’m assuming on YouTube.

So, tell us about that transition and how you got up for it, how you got yourself prepared for that change. 

Beth Djalali: Sure. Well, when we launched the blog in 2015 and it just really, uh, it didn’t take off and just so many wonderful and unexpected ways, but on the different social media channels. And we all saw the video was really big and it was going to be very big, which we all know it’s, everything is just going to video short content, long content. Any content is, is video oriented. So, this is in 2017. Actually, we launched the channel right before my husband was diagnosed with liver cancer. So, YouTube is always, I always feel like it’s kind of my last child, um, because it’s, it’s taken, it’s taken a hit now, you know, now and again, because of that, but we just saw the video was where it was going.

And it was like, okay, let’s just, let’s just do this. And I had no idea what I was doing on YouTube. Just like I had no idea what I was doing, uh, with the blog, but there again, it was just like, I was going to figure it out along the way. So, it was very different than. Taking photographs because your personality really comes alive over on YouTube.

So, you’re going to embrace that. And you’re just going to look at the camera as that is. So, I just really look at the camera, like I’m looking at you and my camera now, but so that’s when I’m, when I’m filming my YouTube videos, that’s really what I’m just kind of imagining. I really just feel like I’m just talking to my audience and, you know, we’re just having a, as you said, just a, you know, one-to-one girl and we’re just having tea together.

So that’s really how I have viewed YouTube. And when my husband was diagnosed with cancer, one of the things that I’m really, I’m very proud of myself for figuring this out. Cause it was like, well, I won’t be able to do the long content as much as I would like to. But I wanted to keep my YouTube channel going.

We later dubbed at Fashion Flash, nostalgic, and Instagram really is, but, so I was like, okay, if we’re out taking photos, I’ll just have my husband film little snippets of it, and we’ll put it together. And we’ll, you know, so basically, it’s just me showcasing the outfit and was very, very, very popular over there.

So that was just, you know, so there again, you just, you always have to be kind of innovative as a businessperson and be able to pivot quickly. So that’s what we did to stay in the game over on YouTube. But now we do have a lovely videographer that that helps me. And, you know, editing’s also very, very key over there, but I think at the end of the day, it’s you just have really have to look at YouTube. I love it because I feel like I can really tap into.

Sharri Harmel: I have to admit a secret, I became like a YouTube addict during COVID. I had never watched YouTube much before and now I subscribe. I’ve got, you know, my favorites, obviously I have to have alerts and you’re one of them.

There’s something about video that, you know, I’m no different than the rest of the people. There’s something about video that makes us feel like the person is talking to us where, and a blog. And even if it comes in an email form and it says, dear Sherry, or dear Beth, you just know it’s been pre done and, uh, all set up in such a way where somehow our brains cannot decipher that the same thing happened in YouTube and they’re not sitting talking to cherry.

Right. But our brains can’t decipher the difference. Right. Which is really interesting. You’ve talked about your team. So share if you can, cause it just, you know, everyone, you need to know that, that Beth’s YouTube channel. As an example, you have almost 180,000 subscribers on YouTube, so you’re big.

So, if we’re talking to someone who is just starting out, they may be at the point where they have less than a hundred. Um, so talk about your team today, but also how your team evolved or how you built your team as needed. 

Beth Djalali: Sure. Well, that’s a very good question. I have Instagram, we have over 250,000 over on Instagram. We have close to 200,000 on Facebook. I mean, it’s a lot. And my blog is very, very big as well, but I didn’t have it when people would come and ask me for advice. I started where everybody else was. I started with 0.00. Like I said, when my agent told me that I need to find more Facebook friends, I’m like, I have five … well go find some more. Okay. 

But at the beginning, you’re going to be wearing all the hats you, because you don’t have the wherewithal to hire anybody, or most people don’t. I imagine there are some people that would be able to build their team, but I think it’s very important to, my husband actually pointed this out to me, he’s like, you need to build it from the ground up because then you will understand when you do have a team, you will understand the mechanics to discuss what you need and, and how to optimize, you know, their time and, and all of that.

So, I wore all the hats. So, I, you know, I started Instagram, so I was over at Instagram. My husband used to take my photos that we really, we were, it was just, you know, a two, two-person team. And then as we grew, then it was like, okay, I can’t, I can’t do it all. So how, how do we go build our team out? And now we’ve gotten to the point so I have YouTube, I have Instagram, I have Facebook, and the blog. So, the blog really is, I mean, that’s the granddaddy of everything. We kind of look at the social channels. You know, we kind of feed feeds into the blog because honestly, the blog is the only thing that I technically own out there in the universe because the social channel, I mean, Instagram, sometimes they fail, and we’ve had outages over at Instagram or the algorithms are against you.

I mean, it can be very challenging out there. So, I always looked at it that the blog is the most important thing because I actually own it. And the social channels are second. So, the blog has always been my main goal. So, it was okay so how do I build the team out there? So, we need some tech help.

I need to make the site run as fast as possible. I need some help with the email subscribers, you know, building beautiful templates. So, this is where I draw in those people with expertise on everything. Then plus the people that come alongside me, and then I have two dedicated photographers, you know, that come and help me with my photographs.

I have writers that also helped me help supplement. Um, they understand my message and they understand my voice. We’ll have writers come along and heal me. I’m always there. I mean, I’m always overseeing everything. They probably wouldn’t even recognize a blog post that. Somebody else has written and that, that I’ve written, you know, so I have that.

So basically, I have the people that help with all of the tech bucket. And then I have the creative bucket. I have an assistant that comes along and helps me in a day-to-day basis. Helps me with my calendar. I have an editorial calendar, which is very important. Um, you know what content is going live when I work with a lot of brands.

That’s very important content, you know, so, so they, so they helped me keep on track with that. We have, obviously I have an accounting team and an accountant that helps, you know, with, with all the billables. So really, it’s just looking at, we briefly talked about this, you know what my strengths are, so I’m the content creator, so I need to free my schedule up so I can devote myself to creating content over on YouTube, creating content for Instagram, creating content for the blog.

And then we just, we fill in the blank with those people that can help us. Behind the scenes. So, I can, I can go out and do that. 

Sharri Harmel: Right. And great example though, of how one builds something and that, that you have to add at certain points. Otherwise, you will spend your time doing things that actually are not in your wheelhouse and are, are really nonproductive from a financial standpoint. Why not hire the people who can do the things that would take you hours and hours to do? And it was 30 minutes. 

Beth Djalali: Exactly, exactly. And I always say this, I’m an industry. It’s not rocket science. It’s not a, which I love. I mean, we never have to worry about or neurosurgery. No, nobody’s going to be, you know, nobody’s going to make, you know, based on one, our best face, but it is a very labor-intensive industry just really, really is.

So, you really need those people that will come along and support you, uh, to, as I said, you know, to free me up and there again, so we didn’t just put it into buckets. So, the blog is one bucket. That’s why I have a YouTube team. I have an Instagram team. And then, I mean, Facebook really, you know, more or less kind of fades feeds over into Instagram. So, we really have it down to a science now. 

Sharri Harmel: Yes, but you monetize through, uh, I’m assuming through affiliate marketing or, uh, you know, I would call you an influencer for some of the brands actually for our particular age group. And so those are all relationships that I’m assuming have to be nurtured or, or once you’re in the door, not, I don’t know anything about that world.

Beth Djalali: Oh, you always have to nurture your relationships with people that you work with. I think that’s very, very key. And one of the things I’m very proud of my team is, I mean, we have repeat business because we have, we have built very good relationships out. And we always make it a win-win, even though it can be challenging to do that sometimes, but yes, there’s many ways that you can monetize a blog and monetize your social channels and we’ve tapped, and you want to have as many revenue streams as possible for any business you want.

You want to be very thoughtful about that because you don’t want to be relying just on one bucket. So, we’ve been very pleased with, we’ve been able to tap into that affiliate marketing is definitely very, very big. We also have ad revenue over on the blog when we have ad revenue over on YouTube, um, and then brand partnerships.

And then if there’s anything proprietary that, you know, perhaps your blog would have like, you know, an e-magazine or eBooks or merchandise, things like that, you can also tap into that as well. So 

Sharri Harmel: has the blog filled the desire to write a book? 

Beth Djalali: You would think? Oh, that was how I got into this business to begin with. But it really is. So now that my team really built up and I mean, I’m still very, very busy, but I’m really hoping that this is the year that I go back to finish my second book, which I mean it’s fiction, but I’m sure that there’s a  nonfiction book in me as well, because I know there’s lots of questions about aging that women have and that I would be able to share. So, I, I think there’s, there’s a book or two, maybe three. 

Sharri Harmel: I agree with you. It’s just so many of the things that you’ve said, one of them just touched me. Reinvention doesn’t mean turning into someone else. Reinvention is finding the grace and space to be who you are at 42 or 62 or whatever your age is, because we use that word reinvention today. And it’s, you know, it’s one of the SEO hot words or whatever, but yet it has an implication that we’re becoming somebody other than who we are. Right? Yeah. So, you need to write on some of these topics, because I think it’s super important today that maybe reinvention is becoming more of who we really are.

And when you’re really getting to know who you are at this particular point in your life when we raised children or even, maybe it’s just a maturity level. When we’re younger, we don’t always know who we are. There are a few that do, but I can’t say with myself, and I think that’s maybe true of other people too, because you’re all about those different hats you wear, and there’s not as much for you. Talk about where your business is going and what’s next for you because I’m starting to hear more skincare, even food, exercise, some of this, is this a direction that you’re going?

Beth Djalali: Yes, it’s been very purposeful. It’s like writing a book: when you were writing a murder mystery, you can’t just change John Rose right in the middle of the book, because it’s too abrupt. Like, you know, people will be like, like it’s close up. I burst on the scene with, with, with style and, and sharing an outfit of the day.

But honestly, from the very beginning, I’ve tried to make it more than that. I’ve tried to make it very informational. And my YouTube channel is very helpful with that. You know, giving the tips, you know, talking about things, you know, besides just, you know, putting an outfit together. And I mentioned previously, aging is such a privilege.

And so, it’s like, how do we do this? And how do we do this well, and how do we put a positive spin on this when it has always been negative, that that aging has always been, you know, we’re losing our minds. I mean, if you actually do like Google, if you really take a deep dive into aging, you come away thinking, wow, we need to change the perception out here.

It needs, we need to push back these boundaries. And because aging is a privilege and we have so much to offer, and we are at a place in our life where we have time to offer that we can get back because we’re not wearing all the hats anymore. Right. Which is so it really, I mean, that in itself is so freeing.

And of course, you know, a first I’m very involved in my children’s life, but in a much different way, you know, I don’t need to take them to 500, you know, baseball practices. And then, yeah, and then our pets and, you know, all, all of that, of what it takes to raise a family.

So, it is really a wonderful place to be when you get to be a certain age. And so there again, I want to start to cover all those topics that will help us be the best version of ourselves when we step out the door. So that is more than just an outfit. So, it really is. 

So, I’m really big into skincare because it is very important. It’s an important component of how we feel about ourselves. You know, when we look in the mirror because, and I do hear this from so many women is like, they don’t even want to look in the mirror anymore, which is, I mean, that’s just like heartbreaking. And so, it’s just, they’re getting, it’s just a tool.

You know, skincare is just a tool, just like makeup as a tool and your clothes are a tool, but I like to take it even further because our health is so precious, and it can be taken from us at any given moment. So, let’s make the best of that to let you know, let’s optimize our health. That’s, you know, exercise is very important. Why is that important? Well, because we start to lose our balance at a certain age, which makes falling that much easier, which, you know, then leads to that, you know, the broken hip or, you know, so these things are all, you know, being flexible at a, you know, a certain age balance. All these things are really, really important, you know, which goes into the health buckets.

And so, they’re again, why we want to be healthy. Well, we probably have two-year-old grandchildren that we want to chase after we need energy to do that. Or we want to finally take that vacation to Italy that we’ve been planning for.

Beth Djalali: So there again, it’s so I just look at all the topics that are not discussed in a positive way, you know, because usually, you know, when we think about health, it’s just like, oh, well, you know, we think about when we get to a certain age and we’re just, you know, complaining about everything.

So, so there again, I just want to, I want to flip the script a little bit and talk about, okay, well, what can we do? These are the things that we can have some preventive care in our, uh, in our toolbox. 

Sharri Harmel: that’s part of self-care 

Beth Djalali: really, it is literally 

Sharri Harmel: The switch, you know, in, in terms of perception of what we should be doing and whatnot at a certain age here, you are a woman of a certain age, myself too. And we’ve both, I, you started a business a while ago, but I just transitioned into a new one and your husband passed, not that long ago. So, if you can talk about what does having a business mean to you? What, how has it changed your life and why should women do this? Why should women do something?

Beth Djalali: Why not? But honestly, it’s just given me so much joy and I really, I love the industry that I’m in because I really can tap into my, you know, I guess, you know, I guess by customer, but I mean, they’re like my friend and my reader. And so, I get to hear from them. I get to hear their thoughts and they; you know, they can direct message me.

They can email me. It’s really, it’s wonderful. And one of the things that I do talk about with, on the blog is that, you know, we want to stay, we want to stay modern. We want to stay fresh. We want to stay abreast of what’s going on out in the world. And so, my business is one way that I’m able to do that because it really keeps me on top of what’s going on technologically.

Whereas, you know, perhaps, I mean, honestly, I think if I didn’t have my business, I don’t think I would really be on my social channels. I don’t think I would have any desire to do that. And then I was thinking, okay, That’s interesting because that’s really my audience. So why are they, why are they on Instagram? Or why are they on YouTube? You know? So, it really, it’s good for me, you know, to think about these things. So, I kind of take everything for granted now because I use these tools as part of my business, but so why would my reader not want to be doing this? And then, you know, how can I, you know, how can I help them?

Because I think we do, if we don’t have new adventures, if we don’t have new horizons, I do think we get stodgy. And I think we get set in our ways. And I don’t think any of us want to do that because I really think that we have to keep learning. We have to keep growing. So, for me, my business has been a wonderful way to continue to do that. Things it’s just opened up so many doors and so many opportunities that I never would have dreamed of or thought of in a million years. 

Sharri Harmel: It’s really interesting that you speak first to the aspect of joy, because every, everything that you talked about, you know, staying abreast, staying, you know, feeling as though you’re, I don’t know, contributing that there’s purpose every day. Things you have to do that. That’s part of what makes up joy is, um, it’s, it’s not just, uh, going on a trip a year and saying, oh, that was really fun. Um, this running your business as an everyday venture, to some extent, and therefore every day. And I think that is, that is one of the pieces that we as women, especially aging need to push against.

Is that not just how being we supposed to dress, but how are we supposed to be that when we retire from the corporate job or we retire from being a full-time mom that now we’re supposed to do X, whatever that is. And like you said, why not? What is it that you want to do? If you want to write a book, I loved that you brought up the fact that the agent said to you, you have to go get friends, you have to have presence. So why not start with the blog? And the blog will make you write every single day, or, you know, if you love clothes or you love skincare, or you love cooking, why not? You’re so inspiring on so many levels. Just keep growing that business and write the books in your spare time. Tell people for listening to this, how they can follow you, you know, would you, would you suggest all the different avenues? You mentioned YouTube? 

Beth Djalali: No, I wouldn’t suggest all the ways. You can follow me in all the channels, which is great, but people digest content in different ways, and you know, some people love the written word.

I mean, I love the written word, so that’s, that’s where the blog is really. That would be right up their alley. And especially if they like photographs too, if they liked to take the time and analyze a photograph and be able to, you know, dissect an outfit or, you know, skincare or, you know, a recipe, any of those things.

And actually, I mean, a recipe is very easy to translate to the blog. So, if you like the written word and you like to look at photos, definitely follow me on the blog. And I have an email subscription list and you can also sign up for that too, but there again, very, perhaps you’re still working. I mean, we dip down in age demographically. I mean, we, of course we definitely favor a woman of a certain age, but we also have a much younger audience that taps in. So perhaps they’re commuting. I mean with COVID we, a lot of people weren’t commuting, but we’re starting to commute again. So, so maybe YouTube. So, you’re sitting on the bus, or maybe you’re sitting on the L in Chicago or, you know, so you have the time to, you know, you have your headphones in, and you can watch a little YouTube snippet, so, or scroll through your Instagram.

So, I mean, we’re at the blog. I mean, Style at a Certain Age, there are many, many different ways that you can consume our content. So, we have the YouTube channel, if that’s more your thing. And it is, I mean, a lot of people love the videos. You mentioned this early, you really kind of feel connected to the person that you’re watching.

I’m very, very proud of our team because we really have it all. We’ve gone out there and, and we’ve figured out a way it’s not always easy to be successful on the platforms, but if you did just like photos, if you just like, you know, I mean, reels are really big now over on Instagram.

So, you know, 60 seconds or less, I show like, you know, five outfits, you know, that you can, or I’ll show you how to, you know, tie your scarf, or throw a recipe together. Or, you know, I have some cute content, for the spring, like, you know, decorating your porch or your front, you know, your front door, things like that. So, yes. Yeah. So, lots of different ways we are out there.

Sharri Harmel: Yes. Yes. And you know, at different points in your life, whether it’s your age or just your lifestyle, certain platforms will be more usable for someone. So, what you’re, what I love is that you’re everywhere. I also love, and we’re going to close on that, but I love that you are your own model.

You’re not, so I’m not, looking at 30-year-old as lovely as a 30-year-old is, but a 30-year-old modeling what an outfit, because I can’t imagine that on me. Right? So, I applaud your courage to be a model to be, you know, photographed and videoed because that’s something that I think as women, as we’re aging, certainly we need to embrace more of, I love that. So, was that a conscious decision? Was it a cost decision to use you? 

Beth Djalali: It was. When I started, it was just me, you know, putting an outfit on every day and my husband’s snapping photos, not a lot of thought was put into that. It was just like, oh, well this is, you know, that, that’s what the 20 somethings are doing, you know, I can do that too. And then when it started turning into a business, I mean, I really am the brand. I really am “Style at a Certain Age.” So now it’s been more okay. You know, how can we incorporate, you know, and we have some really exciting things coming up. So, you know, so stay tuned. I mean, honestly, I didn’t really even think about it at the very, very beginning. I mean, I didn’t think it was going to go anywhere. I had no idea, no idea. And I was, so I was like, oh yeah, we’ll just, we’ll just take this out, but, and take, you know, take this photo. So now it’s just, I mean, yes, I am very, you know, uh, front-facing, I mean, I don’t really think anything of it anymore. I think I’ve been doing this for seven years now. 

We all know, we all immediately go to our photos and focus on our flaws, but I’m also kind of, you know, I’m over that too. And that’s also what I really try to share with my audiences. Just like, “Listen, if you want to look as slim as possible or, you know, hide your flaws or, you know, then, then go for it. But you’re probably going to miss half the fun out there because it’s just not always about.” Disguising, you know what we don’t like, you, you just kind of have to embrace yourself, flaws, and all. And I think that maybe having to look at my photo all the time has helped me, has helped me in that category or on YouTube too. 

That’s just the nature of the business, but it was also very important to me. It’s like when I first started blogging and it was the 20 somethings out there and like, well, no, I’m not as slim as I was. I have gray hair. You know what, this is who I am. This is who we are. This is, this is who women of a certain age. I hope that that message comes across loud and clear. It’s really okay. And you’re okay, you’re more than okay. You know, I’m not a fashion model. I’m not, you know, I’m not a size two. And as I said, I’m very focused on being healthy, living the best life possible, but I’m not perfect. You’re not perfect. No one is a perfect person!

Sharri Harmel: You’re not photo-shopped and fixed up taking this off and that, and I say, thank you. Not only just for myself, but also I think for everyone who listens to my podcast, as well as all of your followers and viewers and subscribers is thank you for being really real.  Thank you for being authentic and not wanting to present yourself as some sort of a perfect image, because by doing that, Beth, you empower every one of us to say, I love me. I might be a little overweight. I might have wrinkles. I might have gray hair. I might choose to dye my hair, whatever. Right. But I love me. I love what I’m presenting and who I am and the woman inside underneath all those, whatever the exterior is. But I also want to feel good, you know, feel like I’m the best I can be at my particular stage of life. 

Beth Djalali: Exactly. And, and I hope that really is my message, that we are enough. We don’t have to be younger. We don’t have to be slimmer. We don’t have to. It’s always about looking forward it’s about today and then looking forward and embracing that. And of course, I loved every aspect of my life. But that was yesterday. So, what’s today, what’s tomorrow and you know, what can we bring to the table? And be the best versions of ourselves, exactly where we are today.

Sharri Harmel: I want to thank you so much for your time. This was fantastic on so many levels. 

Beth Djalali: So, well, thank you so much for inviting me. 

Sharri Harmel: Well, ladies, wasn’t that fabulous. It truly did feel like we were all having a girls talk over a cup of tea while she shared so many encouraging words and ideas for you to get started and to grow your business.

Beth is unstoppable and I believe you are too. In April, Style at A Certain Age, introduced a new contributing editor who is a 40 something woman. So, as she comes on board, you can see that Beth’s followers, interviewers, age group has really expanded. So, you can follow or subscribe to Style at a Certain Age on Instagram. And you can also watch Beth on her Style at a Certain Age YouTube channel, and get added to best email list on her website. You get emails on a daily basis that are just filled with all kinds of great ideas. So, I encourage you to check out Style at a Certain Age, and I want to thank you for joining me today.

If you liked our conversation, please give me a refuse reviews matter in the podcast world and do come back for more. Now, let me ask you, how is your year. Are you ready to do it different this year? Well, the Extraordinary Women Magazine Circle is just what you need. If you are committed to making this the year you get started on your dream, the business, the project, whatever it is, whatever is your dream.

Yes. We always highlight two Extraordinary Women in each magazine issue. Now, like I said, it’s not the famous of the celebrity, but real women like you like me who have stepped into their big dreams by creating something special. Now I always say we are Extraordinary Women who are doing what some people might call ordinary things.

But what makes you extraordinary is that you are bringing your dreams to life. You’re making your dreams come true. And that’s extraordinary now at the request of our fabulous subscribers in our April magazine issue just came out. Not that long ago, I added a whole lot more coaching tips into the magazine, and I love that our subscribers tell us what they want.

I want to hear from you too, as soon as you’re a subscriber also, because the feedback that you provide, you know, and telling us what you want more of really helps to actually create the content within the magazine and what my current subscribers asked for was more of what they could apply and use in their own life and career.

You don’t want to miss it. Now, as I’ve said before, I’ve been a coach for over 20 years. And so, I had to take some of that experience and expertise. If we call it. And added into the magazine with actionable steps and strategies and even exercises that you can use today as you create, whatever it is that you want to create.

So, join us. I’d love to hear your takeaways from these tips, these tools, and these exercises. If you’re a woman ready to get moving on your big audacious dream, go to Extraordinary Women magazine and join us. Thank you. Thank you for your precious time today. Your time is your most important resource in creating your dream life.

I’m currently in Paris. So, I will say “A bien tot” and to everyone back in the states, how about “See you soon?”

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