Podcast Episode #106: It’s NEVER Too Late!
You have unique talents and gifts that no one else in the world has so how are you going to use those gifts and talents? What is it that you want to do? What will you regret not doing?
Today Sharri shares how building your self-confidence is the way to get to your big audacious goal. Don’t give up on your goals or ideas and don’t let yourself think for one second that it isn’t possible!
Resources and Links:
- Wendy Cohen article, https://wendylcohan.medium.com/still-here-youre-damn-lucky-a7735427e03
- Listen to Episode #59 of the Extraordinary Women Podcast, We’re All in the Same Line https://extraordinarywomenmagazine.com/blog/2021/10/31/episode-59-were-all-in-the-same-line/
Extraordinary Women magazine is the “must-have” digital magazine for women looking for inspiration, tips, and support to create a fabulous business, or just the next chapter. In a nutshell, for women who are ready to make their dreams happen.
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Connect with Sharri Harmel
Find this episode (and more) on your favorite podcast player at Extraordinary Women with Sharri Harmel
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Podcast Episode #106: It’s NEVER Too Late!
Welcome to Episode #106 of the Extraordinary Women Podcast. I’m Sharri Harmel, your host for this podcast and the editor of the EW Magazine.
Today, two content pieces landed in my in-box and both made me sit taller and think bigger. Was the content just a coincidence?
In the Maisie Dobbs books by Jacqueline Winspear- which I love by the way- Maisie often reminds herself that “Coincidence is a messenger sent by truth.”
So I reminded myself these coincidences might be messengers of truth and if so, pay more attention.
The first piece of content that caught my eye is written by the writer Wendy Cohen. Honestly, I think Wendy lives inside my head. So many of her writing pieces perfectly express the thoughts banging around in my head. When I read them, I say- that’s exactly right! How did she know that how I feel?
Wendy is a nurse but also one of the most beautiful, concise, and straight to the heart essay writers I’ve come across in a long time. You can find her on the platform Medium or google Wendy Cohen.
https://wendylcohan.medium.com/still-here-youre-damn-lucky-a7735427e03
Her current article is titled, “Still here? You’re damn lucky.” Read it- keep it close by- and when you a feeling insecure with your midlife body, hair and face or wonder how you can bring the spark back in your relationship or find a partner, or maybe question whether you can start something after walking away from the corporate career or raising the kids- read the article. It’s like a virtual kick in the pants.
A while back I did a podcast titled “We’re all in the line” which is totally aligned with Wendy’s article. Yes, of course we all know we’re in the same line. But not one of us wants to stand in that line zoning out as though it’s the women’s bathroom queue at a concert intermission.
What is it you want to do? Maybe a better question is what will you regret not doing when you are at the front of that line?
You have unique talents and gifts that no one else in the world has- so how are you going to use those gifts and talents? What do you want to do? What gives you energy?
I’m going to quote Wendy Cohen here…. She said in the article,” I’m not standing on a pedestal lady. I’m easily as guilty as anyone. But I want to do better in the time I have left.” Amen.
I definitely don’t want to just shuffle my way to the front of the line.
I want to arrive knowing I used up ALL my gifts and talents- and gave all of myself to this lifetime I was blessed to have.
Another of Wendy’s comments touched my soul. She said “Now, in my early sixties, I want to Marie Kondo my world — if something doesn’t spark joy in my life, it has to go.”
Ladies, that includes people, stuff, habits, and activities. If they don’t spark joy, let them go.
So now it’s 8:30 in the morning and I’m totally jazzed. Wendy had me thinking about my own choices and relentless whining about this and that.
I sat with those feelings and started scrolling through photos and articles for my next EW Journal.
If you don’t know what the EW Journal is- it is a once-a-week newsletter that covers a wide variety of topics. I call it my journal of thought curiosities…. It’s been a hoot to write so…. check it out.
I’m an intuitive writer so I’m always looking for the spark of inspiration.
As I scrolled, I came upon a super interesting podcast, called She Leads and Adrienne, the host was interviewing Katie Fogarty who has her own podcast called A Certain Age.
Both podcasts are similar to Extraordinary Women. All three of us focus on women 4o+ who are not standing quietly in that line I talked about. I’m thrilled to be a part of this new movement for women who are as Katie says…. aging out loud.
This is a perfect example of how we are all in the same space but we each put our own unique spin on what we create.
All these coincidences started showing up. Katie talked about the fear’s women of a certain age hold, and how fear will stop any action.
We all know, the antidote to fear is confidence, and she talked about how interconnected confidence is with resilience…but then Katie went on to say that both confidence and resilience are muscles and like any muscle, we only build or strengthen them if we use them.
Interesting metaphor, right? We all want more confidence- there are a multitude of books written on confidence and yet, we still tend to view confidence as some kind of secret ingredient, like fairy dust that some people have, and others don’t.
Suddenly, the coffee cup was down on the table, and I realized that if we view confidence as a special ingredient similar to fairy dust, it will forever remain elusive to us.
But if confidence is a muscle, what will happen when we shift our view of how to grow confidence?
Well, let’s pretend we are walking into a gym for a minute. In the gym when you want to build muscle, get stronger, you would start with the 5-pound weight. You might look at that big weight rack and see the range of weights- but you know that if you consistently workout, you’ll slowly move up to the next bigger weight.
How many of us would start with the 20-pound weight? Not me! But if you did, what would happen? It would feel too heavy, too massive to ever be a part of your exercise routine, right? You’d probably drop the weight and give up.
Well same for your confidence in your goals and dreams!
For example, let’s say your goal is to be a public speaker. If you’ve never spoken in front of an audience, what do you think will happen if you start by putting yourself out there as a public speaker and submit proposals for large speaking engagements? You’d probably get zero responses because you have no speaking experiences, which would lead to feeling defeated and maybe even give up your dream.
But what if you started with your neighborhood association? Or a webinar offering for a group you are a member of? Or you agreed to be a panelist as part of a larger presentation on a topic around your planned speaking career?
Now you are building both your confidence muscle AND your social currency as a professional speaker.
So, look at self-confidence as a muscle you are going to build, and building your self-confidence is the way to get your big audacious goal!
Back into it. Don’t give it up- don’t let yourself think for one second that it isn’t possible!
The question for you is how can you start building your self-confidence muscle? Where are the places that you can strengthen that muscle?
Now if you are already up to the 10-pound weights, your question should be what’s your next stair step up to continue growing your confidence? What will push you, strengthen that confidence muscle, and bring you one step closer to your big audacious dream?
Another example…
Maybe you want to start a podcast. Podcasts are truly an excellent way to not be invisible by the way. Take it from me, even if no one listens, you’re talking about something that is important to you and that is positive action.
Whether you want to start a podcast, a newsletter, a blog, a YouTube channel, whatever is that dream of yours, don’t let yourself say- no one will listen, or I’ve got nothing to say, or it’s all been said.
I’m very familiar with those thoughts because that’s exactly what I said to myself when I got the podcast itch. But somewhere along the way, I said, so what if no one listens. This is what I want to do.
Remember, joy doesn’t mean easy. Joy is how you feel AFTER you stretched yourself. When I started this podcast, I first had to get comfortable with writing and recording a weekly podcast. That was a new habit, and that habit took a while to become a routine. It was hard. I was scared. But the does this bring me joy question, came up after I completed each podcast. I was in the zone when I was recording and when I finished, I had a smile on my face. THAT was joy!
So whatever your IT is- it’s going to stretch you- just like lifting the weights in the gym- it will not be easy. Ask yourself the question whether or not it brings you joy- after you take action. If you are then ready for a high five or a little skip across the room? That’s joy!
I started with solo podcasts because that was my 5-pound weight.
In Year two, I moved from the 5-pound weight to 8-pound weight. I had “worked out” every week for 52 weeks- and my confidence muscle was stronger.
Now, I’ve just begun year three- this is the 106th episode and I have guests on two of the four EW shows each month AND I’m hosting the BloomTV podcast! My confidence muscle is strong enough to say, I’m a podcaster!
But how does confidence fit into the title of this podcast “It’s never too late?”
Because what you do while you are in that line- is strongly correlated to your self- confidence and it’s never too late to get started. Women are rocking midlife. You are starting companies, you are traveling, if coupled, you are probably leading the decisions around the health, the travel plans, the social plans of your coupled relationships. You have learned how to juggle aging parents and adult children.
Ladies, we are a new generation of women making our lives after age 40, really fabulous!
If your brain even suggests that it’s too late for your dreams, push back. Who says? Heck the Queen of England met her last prime minister- just a few days before her death at 96 years and she was dressed professionally and had a smile on her face.
So who says it’s too late?
Take your dream, your goals and explore where you will start.
And don’t worry whether you are starting too small. You want to start at a place where you can be successful and then step it up as your confidence grows. Eventually, what once seemed complicated or difficult will become easy and then you know you’re ready for the next size weight. Remember learning to tie your shoes? It seemed incredibly complicated…almost impossible. But you practiced and practiced and now all of you can tie your shoes without even thinking about it. Muscle memory.
The same will happen for your self-confidence muscle as you aim for that big audacious dream you have. Keep adding weights so that your self-confidence muscle keeps growing.
Remember, we are still here, and we all know people who aren’t. And given we are here, alive and kicking, we need to make the most of our time.
Build your confidence muscle and you will make your dreams happen.
The world is waiting to see what you do, create or build.
À bientôt.
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