Episode 77: The Extraordinary Women Book Club, Practicing Self-Confidence
I’m a reader. I’ve always been a reader and honestly, if it wasn’t for books, my life would be much smaller and less imaginative. Some of you can relate, I’m sure. Whenever life presents struggles, questions, or circumstances that are difficult and challenging, I’ll resort to books. Books were an important part of my life as a little girl and now as a “woman of a certain age.”
I got this crazy idea of including a book club series within the Extraordinary Women podcast. I’m thinking I’ll do one of these podcast episodes from time to time, and each one will be focused on specific topics – dream-focused, like growing your self-confidence or financial awareness, creating focused like inspiration, cookbooks, or decorating, as well as travel – how to travel solo as well as great armchair travel books. For those of you who are multipotentialites, you’ll understand this expansive variety of interests very well.
As always, I’d love to hear what you think… do you like this idea? Is it helpful, interesting, fun?
Go to our Facebook group or send me a message if you like to hear more of our book club ideas or even have some book recommendations of your own….
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I’m Sharri Harmel, Chief Creative of the Extraordinary Women Circle and Community, as well as Editor-in-Chief of the Extraordinary Women Magazine
I’ve been a coach for over 20 years and my dream is to create an even bigger platform so that all women can envision and then step into THEIR big dreams.
Our sole focus in the Extraordinary Women Circle and Community is to support woman like you to ignite their dreams! And we do that inside the EW Circle, which includes the EW magazine, this podcast, and workshops so you get the clarity you need to create your big dream and help you to stay on track to make it come true. Thank you for joining me and let’s get started!!
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Episode 77: The Extraordinary Women Book Club, Practicing Self-Confidence
In our first “Extraordinary Women Book Club” podcast episode, we’re going to focus on Self-Confidence books. I just finished the “3 Weeks to Dream Readiness Workshop,” with a wonderful group of women, and lots of book idea were tossed around. Here are a few books that I think are fun and offer interesting insights into how you can grow your own self confidence.
The first book is
The President’s Hat by Antoine Laurain
This book is about how your thoughts and beliefs can change the outcome of your life. It’s not your normal self-help book, it actually a work of fiction, translated from French, but it has a message that I believe directly relates to self-confidence. It’s a little book so it’s an easy read. It begins when the 1980’s French President, Françoise Mitterand leaves his hat behind in a café. The man sitting at the table next to the president, picks up the hat and puts it on. Slowly that man’s life begins to change because he feels different now that he is wearing the hat of the president of France. Then, when his life has gone through several positive changes, he leaves the hat behind, and another person picks up the hat only to find his life also changes for the better. Well, the hat goes from person to person. Each character who had previously struggled with their self-confidence, suddenly discovered that, when wearing the hat, they felt stronger, saw their lives with more clarity, and began to ask for what they wanted.
The hat was their lucky confidence-building charm.
It’s a lovely series of little stories but let me ask you, what if you designated a lucky item for yourself? Maybe it’s a piece of jewelry, a scarf, a certain pencil. The only requirement is that it has to be something you bring with you throughout the day and that you let yourself believe it has the magical powers of granting you more self-confidence.
For those of you who watch Shark Tank, you know the amazingly successful Barbara Corcoran. When she began her real estate career, she had a lucky coat that she shares she wore for the first three years of her career!
So, find your lucky charm and share it in our FB group.
With time, I think you’ll discover, like the characters in the book, that after a while, you’ll believe in all your possibilities even when you stop wearing your lucky charm. We all need a little extra magical power at times.
The second book is
The Creative Habit: Learn It and Use It for Life by Twyla Tharp
Recently, in the workshop series, “3 Weeks to Dream Readiness,” I led a group of women through addressing the three key areas of their life that can impact their success at achieving their dreams. We went through up leveling their spaces, which included the places and people around them; we talked about how they were spending their time and was it in alignment with their dreams; and lastly, we talked about growing their self-confidence. These are the three key ingredients to moving forward on your dreams and it was fun to see how each woman got new positive insights into ways they could move closer to their dreams.
Of course, I bring books into all my workshops, but one workshop participant, Monique, shared a book that I didn’t know about at the time and have grown to love. It’s by the great choreographer, Twyla Tharp and it is titled The Creative Habit: Learn It and Use It for Life. Twyla must have been living in my head when I wrote the content to “3 Weeks to Dream Readiness” because in her book, she talks about how our creativity can never be realized unless we have routines and structure in our lives… and that we must guard our energy and how we spend our time.
Twyla goes into this larger conversation of the important of practice with several examples of well-known creative geniuses. One example was how we all think the composer Mozart received his gift, sat down at a piano, and started playing and composing. Sort of like divine intervention. Yet Twyla shares that Mozart practiced his craft so much, his hands actually became deformed. Twyla says, “In order to be creative, you have to know how to prepare to be creative.”
So, what if we use the word “self-confidence” instead of “creative” …
It would go something like this… “In order to be self-confident, you have to know how to prepare to be self-confident.” And that means you have to practice self-confidence routines to gain or grow the self-confidence you want!
What if you….
- Learn why affirmations work, create your own and then practice them every single day.
- If you love Mel Robbins’ 5 second rule, then countdown to lift off whenever you are feeling low throughout the day.
- If you want to speak up about your accomplishments with more confidence, create an accomplishments journal and write down what you accomplish every single day.
I began this little experiment of creating an accomplishments log back in January, and it has been a huge and wonderful surprise. We often don’t think we’re moving at all, right? It’s easy to get down. Yet, when I look at my daily accomplishments log, I’m amazed, impressed and dare I say, driven to add to my list?
So, ladies, create your routines so you can practice growing your self-confidence. And again, I would love to hear what is working for you – and so would all the other ladies in the group, so share in our FB group what your self-confidence practice routine is and how different you are feeling!
The next book is….
Be: A No-Bullsh*t Guide to Increasing Your Self Worth and Net Worth by Simply Being Yourself by Jessica Zweig
Jessica Zweig is a brand expert, and in this book, she’s really talking about you, YOUR personal brand. Jessica is super blunt, as you can tell from the title of her book, but this is a little powerhouse of a book.
Jessica talks about how you need to embrace all your mistakes and challenges and not hide them behind a curtain of perfection. Be honest, be real. Those mistakes and challenges made you who you are today- and are probably what draws other people to you.
So much of Instagram profiles are about presenting near perfection. It began as a form of what we used to call “eye candy” – really fabulous-looking photos of people and places. But it has evolved as technology always does.
Now Instagram is a marketing vehicle, so you get all kinds of information, promotions, opportunities, etc. If you click on anything on the Internet, you’ll get a deluge of pitches. My favorites are the coaching programs that tell you that if you just follow their process, which you’ll learn about when you sign up, you’ll then be able to make loads of money while you sleep. Not much authenticity or even experience in any of those pitches.
Building the brand of you
I love Jessica’s book, because she’s about true authenticity – without any pretensions. In the book, she’ll walk you through doing some of the most honest self-reflection activities you can do as you build your brand – the brand of YOU. Whether you are thinking of starting a business or growing a business you already have, or just trying to figure out your next chapter, this book is a requirement.
So many people today are tired of pretentions and find themselves drawn to people who are real, and without games and have actual self-awareness. I feel the same way. This book will help you to embrace who you are and show up everywhere as the real you – in the ways that you present yourself, how you interact with others and even down to what you wear.
When I was last in Paris, I knew I was going to wear tennis shoes even with my dresses because I had been having a foot issue. Now, not all that long ago, wearing tennis shoes labeled you a tourist in Paris and most likely a badly dressed American tourist. So, I show up with my tennis shoes…and I was shocked. Everyone was wearing tennis shoes… young women, middle-aged women, and even elderly women. Even the haute couture shops had incredibly expensive tennis shoes in their windows.
So, I arrived back in Paris thinking I’m going to wear my tennis shoes even if I stuck out, but voila, sometime during covid, even the “fashion conscious” French decided that comfort and fashion didn’t need to be an either/or choice. The universe became aligned with my desire to be me! Now this is just one silly example of me showing up as my true self…. but try it. You’ll start attracting all sorts of people who are like the real you and ladies, to be yourself is an incredible confidence builder!
My next book is
The Right Questions: Ten Essential Questions to Guide You to An Extraordinary Life by Debbie Ford
I received most of my very early life coaching training from Debbie Ford. She was an incredibly gifted teacher and presenter. Debbie wrote several books, all of them good, but The Right Questions is a book you can pull out at any point in your life and go to the question that most loudly speaks to you. Debbie calls them “ten essential questions to guide you to an extraordinary life.”
All the questions will make you think, but the one that woke me up again just this morning, was “Am I Looking for What’s Right or Am I Looking for What’s Wrong?”
I have lived most of my adult life feeling like I always needed to have a rock-solid plan B. While that safety net of planning has its good points, I realized it also creates a mindset that is solidly based in the belief that things probably won’t work out, so you’d better have that plan B.
This morning I realized that yes, I was looking for what’s wrong rather than looking for what’s right by spending way more time thinking about my plan B. Yes, it’s important to be flexible and comfortable pivoting in new directions but focusing on what could go wrong can actually create a negative mindset… a mindset that doesn’t support you to make your dreams come true. And focusing on what can go wrong is a true confidence buster!
In conclusion ladies… find your self-confidence charm and wear it every day. Keep an accomplishments log, and be the real you… every day, because you too are an extraordinary woman!
Thank you for joining me today. If you liked our conversation, please give me a review, and do come back for more!
We just finished the very first “3 Weeks to Dream Readiness Workshop” that I offer two times a year for our FB group and EW Circle.
It was great fun and the feedback from the women who attended was beyond my expectations!
Now let me ask you….
How is your year Going? Ready to do it different this year??
I’m announcing the very first Extraordinary Dream Academy that starts mid-April.
It’s seven weeks of teaching, coaching, inspiration, and ideas that will get you moving on that dream you have for 2022.
The Extraordinary Dream Academy is just what you need IF …
You are committed to making this THE year you get started on your dream
You are done talking about it, dreaming about it
This is the year you’re going to figure it out, focus on one dream and get moving forward!
The Extraordinary Dream Academy will help you …
To clarify the dream and then break down the steps you need to take.
You get the needed support and structure as well as the confidence to step into your dream.
You might be saying…But Sharri, I’ve signed up for lots of courses, workshops, schools, you name it and I never finished anything!!
How is the Extraordinary Dream Academy different?
- This will be a very small group. You’ll get the support, attention and coaching you need to really step up and get started.
- This will be an engaged bunch of women! So don’t hit that sign-up button if you want a workshop, a program, a course where no one notices whether you show up or not.
- We’ll gather LIVE two times/week though you’ll get all the recordings.
- On Tuesdays, it’ll be a teaching and learning day and on Fridays, we’ll have our Q & A and because the group will be small, there will be time for us to talk about YOUR dream and YOUR process. Like I said you need to be serious. This isn’t fluff.
I’ve been a coach for over 20 years, and I’ll use every skill and strength I have to support you to get moving forward on your dream. I want every woman to move forward on her dreams because I know how easy it is to say “someday I’ll get to that…” I said those exact words and that’s why it matters to me that you don’t let one more day/month or year to go by with you saying “someday.”
Now, if you are an Extraordinary Women magazine circle subscriber, you’ll get $50 off the Extraordinary Women Dream Academy. So go to extraordinarywomenmagazine.com and join us.
Now, the EW magazine is… a fabulous magazine where we always highlight two inspiring women that have stepped into their dreams in a big way. There are several additional sections, but we have just started a new section called “Subscriber Spotlight,” where one magazine subscriber gets to promote her business and share a bit about herself and her big dream. How cool is that??!! Like I said, we are dream serious.
Go to extraordinarywomenmagazine.com and subscribe.
And if the “Extraordinary Dream Academy” sounds exactly like what you need to make 2022 YOUR year, email or message me to set up a time for us to talk.
I want to make sure the program is right for you, so we have to have a conversation!
Thank you for your precious time today…. your time is the most important resource in creating your dream life.
Given I am currently in Boston, I’ll say, See you soon! And to my friends in Paris, À Bien tot.
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I’m Sharri Harmel, Chief Creative of the Extraordinary Women Circle and Community, as well as Editor-in-Chief of the Extraordinary Women Magazine
I’ve been a coach for over 20 years and my dream is to create an even bigger platform so that all women can envision and then step into THEIR big dreams.
Our sole focus in the Extraordinary Women Circle and Community is to support woman like you to ignite their dreams! And we do that inside the EW Circle, which includes the EW magazine, this podcast, and workshops so you get the clarity you need to create your big dream and help you to stay on track to make it come true. Thank you for joining me and let’s get started!!
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