Episode 79: Why YOU are an Extraordinary Woman!
Welcome back to the Extraordinary Women Podcast. My name is Sharri Harmel, founder, and editor of the Extraordinary Women Magazine – the must-have digital magazine for women looking for inspiration, tips, and support to create their fabulous next chapter… and make their dreams happen!
In the Extraordinary Women magazine and podcast, I share stories of women who are not celebrities, but women like you and me who have chosen to create and live lives of authenticity, passion, and always dream-centered.
The Extraordinary Women magazine, like this podcast, also has all kinds of additional tips, ideas, insights and even a dose of inspiration to help you to create YOUR amazing and extraordinary next chapter. Life is short so let’s make this year our best ever.
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Episode 79: Why YOU are an Extraordinary Woman!
Recently, I’ve talked to several women who have given me the feedback that they love the magazine, they love the podcast, but they don’t really think they’re extraordinary.
I have been shocked by these comments. Plus, it wasn’t just one woman… it was several women, at various times! So, I couldn’t ignore these ladies… their inner insecurities had wisdom to share with me. Their courage forced me to ask myself, “Do I think I’m extraordinary? And why is it so hard for women to think of ourselves as extraordinary?”
Who is an “Extraordinary Woman?”
Let’s go back and explore the definition of an “extraordinary woman.”
When I did an Internet search, I found this definition,
“An extraordinary woman is one who is extremely driven and focused to achieve her goals while staying sincere, kind, and compassionate. She can identify the needs of others and strives to meet those needs in all that she undertakes.
Sounds a bit like you, right? It’s so interesting that it doesn’t define an “extraordinary woman” as a woman who runs a billion-dollar business or a woman who was declared a saint, or a woman who wrote several best-selling novels while raising her children as a single mother. Those women ARE extraordinary but the point to this is that extraordinary women are not in a small, exclusive club with very significant qualifiers to get in. An extraordinary woman is one who is driven and focused to achieve her goals while staying sincere, kind, and compassionate. Therefore, ladies, being an extraordinary woman is not solely about achievements. It also includes your character… having sincerity, kindness, and compassion.
So, for just a moment, I want to think about how you respond when someone tells you that are wonderful and might even imply that you’re extraordinary.
Discounting ourselves or minimizing our accomplishments
Just last night, I was having an aperitif with new friends that started at 5:30 and extended long into the late evening. One woman turned to me at the end of the evening and said “Sharri, you’re so interesting, you’re strong, you have grit…you’re extraordinary!” What was my response? “Oh gosh, I haven’t done anything special, I was just a loving mother, wife, daughter, sister…” and as for me being a woman of a certain age living between Boston and Paris, I said, “Why not? Just because I’m a solo gal, I made a life for myself, a life that I love and that’s not such a big thing…”
See how I fell into the pattern of discounting myself, minimizing my accomplishment at taking care of myself and creating a life I love? So, it just happens. We are on autopilot to discount ourselves. The real question is why do we discount ourselves and any compliments we receive? Why do we respond to a compliment by saying, “… Oh it was nothing,” or “not that big of a deal?” Yet, when you were actually going through it, whatever IT was, you knew it was big. You felt how hard it was to get through. You could reflect back a week or a week later, and say, “Dang, that was hard times for me.” Yet, even just one year later, if someone gives you a compliment for whatever it was that you got through, you’ll say, “Ah, it was nothing special.” I don’t know the answer to why we do this and its different reasons for each woman, but what I do know is that it is time for you to stop deflecting compliments and appreciation. It’s time for you to welcome in any praise, any appreciation, any recognition of what you’ve done.
Accepting compliments is caring for ourselves
I was on a Zoom call with Joy, a photographer I’d love to work with. At the end of our conversation, she apologized for being a little scattered on our call but explained that she is in charge of the care for an elderly relative, and there are lots of issues happening right now. THAT, ladies, is an extraordinary woman. Yet, when I said, “Oh Joy, you weren’t at all scattered and what an amazing woman you are,” she made a face that discounted my compliment! See how quickly we say that whatever it is that we do isn’t a big deal? How quickly we minimize what we accomplish in our lives? Let’s stop that!
I’ve realized that just because we accept a compliment, it doesn’t mean we are self-centered or egocentric. Accepting a compliment is good self-care. Thinking otherwise is an old belief that you took on years ago and it’s time to let it go… please understand that you can be an extraordinary woman even if you are doing ordinary things.
Extraordinary women DO ordinary things!
Taking care of elderly relatives, juggling your schedule to be able to spend time with your aging parents or children with specific needs, making home cooked meals, mentoring a young professional, working on a fundraiser you’re passionate about or maybe you just stepped up because someone asked… are all ordinary in so many ways, and yet make you, the woman who juggles what feels like a million different responsibilities, truly extraordinary! And what will change when you embrace that you are extraordinary?
Your perspective will change
First, you’ll start to make decisions from that place of strength with an entirely different perspective. Decisions suddenly won’t be confusing. You’ll gather information from others when you need it to make a decision, but you won’t be looking for consensus from people around you because you’ll know. I’m learning myself that the affirmation, “Yes I do ordinary things but I’m extraordinary,” is changing the way I go about my day.
You’ll be brave and try new things
Second, you’ll build your bravery muscle. Life is sometimes hard and even scary, but most of the time, we say no to little things that could make a difference in our lives. Take a trip with girl friends to Nashville for a girls’ music weekend. Get on that plane and fly to Paris or London, or Tokyo. Stretch yourself to try something new at work. Make time for a passion that you’re exploring whether it needs to grow into something more. Again, ordinary tasks that take an extraordinary woman to do.
You’ll see better coming your way
Third, you’ll find good things start to come your way. What you put your attention on will show up in your life so why not focus on creating the life you do want? Embrace your extraordinary self and tell the angels that you are ready for more goodness, more opportunities, more of whatever it is that you want! Remember what you focus on will grow, so don’t discount yourself, don’t deflect those compliments you receive!
I am determined that every one of you sees that you can be an “extraordinary woman,” even if you do ordinary things… with a focus on your goals while staying sincere, kind, and compassionate~
Outro
Thank you for joining me today. If you liked our conversation, please give me a review, and do come back for more!
We just finished up the very first “3 Weeks to Dream Readiness” workshop that I offer two times a year for our subscribers to the Extraordinary Women Magazine Circle. It was great fun and the feedback from the women who attended was beyond my expectations!
Now let me ask you… How is your year going? Are you ready to do it differently this year? Well… The Extraordinary Women Magazine Circle is just what you need IF ….
- You are committed to making this THE year you get started on your dream
- You are done talking about it, dreaming about it
- This is the year you’re going to figure it out, focus on one dream and get moving forward!
In each issue of the Extraordinary Women magazine, we highlight two Extraordinary Women. Not the famous or the celebrity but women like you, who have stepped into their big dreams by creating something special.
Now if you’re thinking, “Great, but I’m not extraordinary…,” I’m going to disagree with you. I have this phrase that the magazine is for “extraordinary women who are doing ordinary things with a focus on their goals while being authentic, real, kind and compassionate.” So, embrace *extraordinary*, ladies!
In April’s issue of Extraordinary Women, we’ll be highlighting Belinda Gray, a breast cancer survivor who created the UK charity, Art for Cure. Belinda took a frighteningly scary health experience and is paying it forward in a big way.
And because we’re all ready to travel again, you’ll also meet Jane Bertch, an Extraordinary Woman from Chicago who founded La Cuisine Cooking School located right in the heart of Paris. It’s a sure way to bring back some of that amazing French cooking I promise you that you will crave when you return home and if you aren’t quite ready to travel, Jane and La Cuisine has created opportunities for you to feel and cook like a French woman from your home kitchen!
So the Extraordinary Women magazine has interviews that will inspire you, but you’ll also get some tips, ideas and ways that will support you as you make YOUR dreams happen.
I’ve been a coach for over 20 years, and I’ll use every skill and strength I have to support you to get moving forward on your dream. This is a must-have magazine for every woman ready and wanting to turn the page and begin their next chapter… a chapter that is going to have you stepping into your dreams rather than just thinking about them.
I’m passionate that every woman moves forward on her dreams because I know how easy it is to say, “Someday I’ll get to that…” I said those exact words and that’s why it matters to me that you don’t let one more day, month or year go by with you saying “Someday, I want to do…”
And who knows…you might end up as one of our highlighted Extraordinary Women … and why not? So go to extraordinarywomenmagazine.com and join us.
Thank you for your precious time today…. your time is your most important resource in creating your dream life. Given I am currently in Boston, I’ll say See you soon! And to my friends in Paris, a bientôt.
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I’m Sharri Harmel, Chief Creative of the Extraordinary Women Circle and Community, as well as Editor-in-Chief of the Extraordinary Women Magazine
I’ve been a coach for over 20 years and my dream is to create an even bigger platform so that all women can envision and then step into THEIR big dreams.
Our sole focus in the Extraordinary Women Circle and Community is to support woman like you to ignite their dreams! And we do that inside the EW Circle, which includes the EW magazine, this podcast, and workshops so you get the clarity you need to create your big dream and help you to stay on track to make it come true. Thank you for joining me and let’s get started!!
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