Hi everyone, I’m Sharri Harmel, Editor and Chief Creative of the Extraordinary Women Magazine, community, and podcast.
Our sole focus is to support women like you to make their dreams come true and create a life that matters. We do that through the community within the Extraordinary Women Magazine where we highlight interesting women who are just doing it.
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Episode 65: It Takes Only 5 Seconds to Bust Self-Doubt!
This past week, I was touring the Christmas markets of the Alsace region of France. This part of France has been a part of Germany, then France, then Germany and finally back to France.
It should be an area with an identity problem and yet, the people and places seem very clear on who they and and what they are about…. which is a beautiful merging of two cultures that together have created something entirely unique- a little bit German, a little bit French but really special, unique, and different, which is Alsatian.
As I walked around, listen to the history from fabulous tour guides, tasted the foods, drank the wines, and observed street signs and shop signs that reflect the dual, though unique culture, I thought this part of France, in so many ways a mishmash just like me and maybe you?
We are a combination, a mosaic of all those past experiences we’ve had and the cultures we’ve lived in and even those we have maybe loved from a distance or even traveled to through the books we’ve read.
I grew up in the northern center of the United States in Minnesota, and yet from the time I was young, I dreamed of leaving for other lands and other time periods. I wanted to be in the Swiss mountains with Heidi. I wanted to be in France with Joan of Arc and Mary in her secret garden in England. But it wasn’t just about geography.
I grew up Catholic, but I switched schools part way through 7th grade, and suddenly all my best friends as well as my boyfriend, were Jewish. Hence, I fell in love with a culture that was very, very different from my own but I loved it and somehow it all got merged together in my head and heart.
Did all this merging of cultures make me confused? Did I struggle to find my own identity? No.
Like the Alsace region of France, I decided at a very young age that I was from nowhere and yet everywhere. I knew I wanted to take in and experience all I could in this journey of life. I loved the stories and because of the stories, I had an intense curiosity of other cultures. Fast forward. I’ve lived in many different cities in the US, had several careers and stepped into multiple roles thus far in my life. I’m currently in my apartment in Paris where I live off and on during the year. I’ve loved all these experiences and cultural shifts in my life.
But there is also sneaky negative part of our past experiences, and often that is the self-doubt culprit.
No matter how successful or how accomplished we are, and this is especially true of women, we have to work hard to fight against self-doubt.
Those negative comments you heard when you were a kid, or the ways you kept yourself small, so you fit in, are easily remembered and rarely forgotten.
It can sound something like…. maybe I’m too old or too young for this crazy dream I have. Or…. I don’t have enough time or money or the right resources to make my dream happen.
Just to exhibit how truly nuts I am, one day I convinced myself that the fastest growing YouTube and Instagram stars are all young and attractive. You all know the answer to that question, but do you see how the rabbit hole of self-doubt suddenly appears??
Even though I cognitively know that having a huge following on Instagram is like winning at the game of monopoly, it didn’t take much for my courage to start to feel unsettled and my mindset question my true readiness for my dream.
Do I have the time, the money, the skills, the longevity, etc. to successfully launch an online magazine community?
Ladies, on my website- Sharriharmel.com and extraordinarywomenmagazine.com, I have a quiz I created. It’s titled “What’s Your Dream Readiness Score?”
Analyzing the quiz results, I can see that almost every woman who completes the quiz answers that mindset and confidence are what stops them from stepping into their dreams. Go to HERE and take the quiz and let me know if that’s true for you.
Okay, you might be agreeing, even nodding your head right now…. But what can you do when you go down the hole of self-confidence lack and set up your own personal pity party? I call it a personal party because it is almost always a party of one – me, myself, and I.
Well, one thing that has worked for me is Mel Robbins’ 5 second rule. She says- count back from five – sort of like a rocket launch! Mel wrote an entire book on her five second rule, check it out. You can use the five second rule in whatever way you want, and she gives you several examples, but for me I use it most often when I’m getting ready for my pity party and filling up with self-doubt.
Here’s how it works for me. Instead of questioning .… am I too old, is this magazine idea absolutely ridiculous, is this apartment in Paris a crazy idea …. I say to myself – and sometimes out loud- 5-4-3-2-1…. switch baby!! (I add the baby because for some reason it feels even stronger!)
And the switch I’m looking for is all about the questions I ask myself. My new question is why not?
What if everything I’ve experienced in my life is what makes me the perfect woman to start a magazine that highlights interesting women and supports all of us to follow our dreams?
What if my intense curiosity about people and their stories is what makes the magazines articles so interesting?
What if I’m the perfect age to publish the Extraordinary Women Magazine? Yes, I have more years behind me than ahead of me, but I still feel I have something to do, something to accomplish, something to contribute …. and why not??
That is one of THE most important questions you’ll ever ask yourself.
Frankly, ladies, none of us has any idea of how long we’re going to be alive, so we might as well get going on whatever it is that we want to create or dream of creating in this lifetime. Right??
I had to share this because something fabulous happens when I use the five second rule to count down. I launch from a negative, self-doubting mindset to the why not? mindset.
Try it yourself. 5-4-3-2-1, switch baby!! Start with something small, like driving your grocery cart past the candy aisle…. then try it on your mindset….and ask yourself, why not?? Prepare to feel different!!
Outro:
Thank you for listening to this podcast and if you liked what you heard, give me a review, and do come back for more!
The Extraordinary Women Magazine Community and this podcast are tools to help you on your journey to you creating a life that matters.
There is a lot of dream talk, but what makes me and this magazine different is I’ve been a coach- a real coach for over 20 years and ALL that experience helps me to create what you want and need.
And because I’m a coach, I’m a super good listener, so your experiences, your wants and needs are what drives the content of the magazine, the conversations we have in our FB group, and even this podcast!
This isn’t about using the famous or even the local celebrity or influencer as our guideposts…. This is about extraordinary women like you and me. Women who make things happen by figuring out our gifts and using them in various ways for the world to see!
Wondering if you’ll fit in with the group? Married or solo, kids grown or still at home. Corporate careers, entrepreneurs, a stay-at-home mother or even retired, you’ll fit right in. I’ve coached women who cross over ever role because I’ve been in those roles myself.
Go to Extraordinary Women Magazine.com and join us by clicking the subscribe button. I don’t know how long this price will last but for now it’s only $29.99, so join us.
Thank you for your precious time and as I say to my friends and neighbors here in Paris …. À Bientôt!
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