Podcast episode 54: Making a House a Home! - Extraordinary Women Magazine

Welcome to the Extraordinary Women Podcast where we chat about the issues that women just like you, are thinking about, dealing with, and working through in our daily lives.

For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Sharri Harmel, Editor and Chief Creative of the Extraordinary Women Magazine.

Life can sometimes get a little complicated, but always remember, you are truly an Extraordinary Woman.

Today’s conversation is about making a house a home and does that even matter?

Making a house a home is one of my favorite things to do. I should have been a designer. I love houses … all sorts of houses.

When I was a young girl, I had a paper route. The fourth week of every month, I was out at night to collect the fees from subscribers. It was usually dark outside, and with lights on inside, I could investigate homes as I went from house to house. I created stories around the lives of the people who I thought must live in each house.

Honestly, that might have started my love of homes. Cape Cod, Mediterranean, colonial, Paris apartment or Boston condo…. I still love them all and still enjoy going on home tours and imagine how I would live in the space. How and where I would spend my time? Where would I read a book, work on projects, entertain my family and friends?

But now at this stage of my life- as a divorce woman with children grown, and having moved from a single-family home in Minneapolis to my Boston condo, I wondered, does making a house into a special home still matter? Have I reached the age or lifestyle at which point, I need to live with what I have, even if it’s not who I am today?

During covid, Americans spent more money on their homes that any other time in history because suddenly, our homes mattered more to us. We worked, cooked, cleaned, and lived whether solo or with our families- in our homes as never before. We had the time to look around our homes and wonder what could this house become? And I want to suggest. we might have also thought much more about whether our homes reflected ourselves and our own unique culture.

THAT is when we start to make a house a home.

Our home may or may not be magazine ready, but it’s the place we live and now work in those smells, feels, and operates as a support or even the container to our lives.

So yes, making your house a home is super important.

As a woman, I think making a house a home is even more important to you. In nature, it is usually the female who makes the nest just right and I can’t tell you how many corporate women shared with me that during covid they developed a relationship with their homes that they never had before.

So yes…. regardless of your life circumstances and stages or who’ll be living in that house, it does your soul good to make your house a home.

But how to do that?

Well, I started out this podcast by sharing that I created stories when I investigated family homes along my paper route. Pretend you are walking into your home and don’t know the woman who lives there. Can you see what is she interested in? Can you sense what she values? What and who does she love?

Your home in a very weird way, is the story of you. It helps you to remember who you are…. all the stages, roles, and ages of your life.

But because we have limited spaces, we also must think about how much of our home is memorializing the past and how much is about the woman you are today as well as who you are becoming.

As a single woman of a certain age, it would have been easy for me to make my home almost a shrine to what I was …. a mother and a wife. But I want to encourage you to stretch beyond those roles you used to have and embrace the person you are today and maybe even the woman you are evolving to become. This home, the home you are in right now, needs to honor your past but also reflect the current and future you.

When I left Minneapolis, I had to let go of so many of my things that I began to think that my lack of space was about leaving treasures and even memories behind, and that my future required me to give up my loves or maybe addictions of china, silver, paintings, and books.

So, I took the time to ponder over who I am, what’s truly important to me. After a few months of living with my boxes, I realized I craved color. I needed deep colored walls to ground me because my corner unit had windows on two sides and the ocean across the street. It is beautiful but I feel like I’m floating – really ungrounded.

As for my furniture, I love it all, but it’s in the colors of blues and creams so I’m recovering all of it with bright colors. I’m sharing this design process in the Extraordinary Women magazine because women are so interested in decorating and design but today, we’re talking about the steps.

And the first step to making your house a home, is that you reflect on who you are today and who you are striving to become.

I love to entertain with all sorts of china, glassware, and silver. I love, love a beautiful bar area even if I only drink wine. I love books and I like keeping my favorites. But I have no space, so what to do?

In the Extraordinary Women Magazine, I share one of my favorite design books by the wonderful Kit Kemp. I have followed Kit for years- maybe decades. I stay in her Number Sixteen hotel every time I’m in London. It is the most fabulous place. Even the elevator is interesting. Gorgeous wallpaper- yes even in the elevator. And on the elevator wall- the most detailed handmade diorama. The hotel is only 3 stories high, so you’ll want to ride it up and down to get a good look. The elevator is like the rest of the hotel. There is a story in every single nook, corner, and viewpoint in the common areas.

So, I’m embracing Kit Kemp’s design style. I’m now creating a home that portrays my story …. my story of today.

As I let go of design rules, I started to see possibilities in the quirkiness of my apartment. Just yesterday, I designed a funny cupboard to be built for the apartment that will be only one glass deep. It won’t take up much room and yet, I’d then be able to access my gorgeous glassware.

Suddenly this rather quirky, contemporary, and non-symmetrical space is starting to become my home.

What about you? And what if you live in a home with family, lots of family. Yes, you have to be considerate of the habits and needs of everyone in the house, but you can still make the house your home.

It starts with knowing yourself. Your true self. We all have very different ideas of what we like, the look, the style, the feel, and color. So, Pinterest is great and of course I love magazines, but filter everything with you checking in with how that object, color, or fabric makes you feel.

Get small bottles of paint color and paint poster boards to hang up. Trust me, right away you’ll feel a difference when you look at one color versus another. Sit in different rooms and in different seating areas in each room. What’s the view? How does it make you feel?

If you need an area for an office try out different areas in your house. Maybe the bedroom, a hallway, or a staircase landing. Dining rooms are making a comeback as people are now using them for multiple purposes- an office, a study area, even a library.

Do the photos or knick-knacks you have in your home speak to you, energize you? The tiniest things can make us feel more alive, more positive, more encouraged so pay attention.

Our homes and the things in our homes have energy. You probably don’t even notice it unless you get quiet enough to feel it but when you do, the rewards of your beautiful space can be unmeasurable.

I’m going to leave you with a quote from The School of Life, which so perfectly expresses what I wanted to share with you today.

“Home means the place where our soul feels that it has found its proper physical container, where, every day, the object we live amongst quietly remind us of our most authentic commitments and loves.”

Outro

Making a house a home isn’t a weekend project. Slowing down helps you to connect with the woman you are today as well as the woman you are becoming and then, you can start to add the pieces that make your house, your unique home.

Ladies, if you enjoyed this podcast, then I know you’ll love the Extraordinary Women magazine.

I named the magazine Extraordinary Women because every issue has interviews with at least two extraordinary women who will probably remind you a little of yourself because you too are an extraordinary woman. Try that label on! And if you know of someone you think I should interview, message me.

The magazine is a dream supporting, dream inspiring magazine that I know you’ll love. It’s got ideas, recipes, and lifestyle suggestions meant to give you hope and encouragement, which we all need more of today. Plus, in Issue three we have added a section called Home Matters. I had so many people ask me about my Paris apartment and the decorating process of my Boston apartment that I decided to embrace another of my loves, the home.

Also, there isMym Parisienne Attitude section. I’ll be back in my Paris apartment mid-October. In the magazine there is always a section I call My Parisienne Attitude, where I share all the daily musings and experiences around my life in Paris.

We are creating a small special Paris Holiday magazine, so if you love Paris and want to receive it, subscribe to the magazine now and you’ll receive that issue as a gift.

Married or solo, kids grown or still at home. Corporate careers, entrepreneurs, a stay-at-home mother or even retired, this magazine is meant to be like your best friend who appreciates you, encourages you and inspires you to find that secret to happiness.

Join us by clicking the subscribe button at sharriharmel.com or check out my Instagram page! Nothing complicated. Just good stories, a little inspiration, and a cup of hope.

Thank you and

As I say to my friends and neighbors in Paris …. A Bientôt!