Welcome to Episode 49! I’m Sharri Harmel, Editor of Real You Magazine and Podcast, as well as coach and creator of courses to help you live your dreams.
Today we are going to talk about my Parisian Attitude, and how it is an attitude or even a manifesto- that you can embrace wherever you live.
I have just returned from a trip to my home in Paris. I was only in Paris for 2 ½ weeks but it was a very lovely much needed time. What was so incredibly interesting for me to observe is that I got my Parisian attitude back and frankly, I didn’t even know she was missing.
Yes, I have a Parisian attitude. Way back post my divorce, I began my love affair with Paris mostly because Madame Paris taught me to love myself again. Cherish myself again.
I’ve told the story in a number of previous podcasts, but my self-love and hope for the future was completely depleted after the awful 2+ year divorce process completed my 23-year marriage. Luckily, when I was feeling my lowest of lows, I found myself in Paris.
Paris healed me. Paris helped me to see that it wasn’t too late for my dreams. It wasn’t too late for me to be happy. And it certainly wasn’t too late to learn to love myself again.
Obviously, I am not a young woman, and I’ve done a lot of living.
Paris taught me to love who I am right now….to love all my life experiences – including every one of my mistakes and imperfections.
Honestly, it all started with a boat ride on the Seine but that’s another story.
What I learned as I embraced my Parisian attitude, was a different way of looking at myself and a different way of looking at my future.
When asked, I used to tell people that I loved the woman I was when I was in Paris. Eventually though, my Parisian attitude grew roots and was a part of me wherever I was, not just when I was in Paris.
But, one of the sneaky fallouts from covid was that I had started to lose my Parisian attitude.
I don’t know how it happened, but it did and my way of thinking and looking at the world began to feel a lot like it had many years ago before I met my Paris angels.
Ladies, that’s Just another reminder how important it is to practice positive mindsets or as I call it, Your Parisian attitude every single day.
Now, I’m sure you’re wondering what in the world is Sharri talking about? What is this Parisian Attitude?
Here are the ingredients to my Parisian Attitude.…
- Find your joie de vivre.
To find your joie de vivre or joy of life in the moment, you have to slow down and the easiest way to do that is to go outside, be with nature. Even better, take a walk and force yourself to take in life moment by moment. Looking at every little thing as though it is the first time you’ve seen it. Take in deep breaths and connect your body to the miracle that is mother nature.
In Paris, I live just across the Seine from the Tuileries Garden, so every day I’d make a point to walk in the garden. I posted several walks on Instagram, as I was walking or should I say strolling through the Tuileries. It was my daily soul food.
When I’m in Boston, I walk along the ocean and look closely at the shoreline. Is the tide in or out. What vegetation is around me. To get that present – can be work, but the rewards are significant.
Then there is the joie de vivre of your bigger experience of life. How you are living.
The path you are on. The one question I will ask myself on a regular basis is what can I control? What am I in charge of?
Try it. Whether you’re feeling you’re unhappy with something, or just a little uncertain what to do next, try asking yourself that same question. What can you control?
Every day there are a multitude of decisions that we each have the power to decide what we want to do. Who we spent time with, what we eat, how we think, how we treat our bodies and the people around us- all of these are in our control.
Knowing that I do have control over certain everyday things in my life, helps me to feel more centered and less reactionary.
Now if you’re feeling like you need a joie de vivre refresher, check out my Joy Life Atelier. It’s a short little online course but it packs a big punch. I promise the course will get you back on track to recapturing your joie de vivre.
- What’s your je ne sais quoi?
We need the courage to be our real and true selves. That is what je ne sais quoi is all about. What is it that makes you unique and special.
No one looks just like you and no one has the special combination of strengths and talents that you do.
I’ve known several sets of identical twins and even they look different from each other.
Besides your physical characteristics, there is no one has had the same life experiences that you’ve had. You are unique and all of that makes you that something special that is only you – your je ne sais quoi.
But often, you need courage to be your real and true self. A great book to check out is titled Brazen by Leeanna Tankersley. Brazen is a word we usually think of with negative connotations, so I love that the author shifts the perception of the word to mean bold and courageous.
It’s really about showing up every single day as the real you. The world is so crowded with opinions because of social media. You are constantly bombarded with images and comments of how you should be, how you should think, and even how you should look at certain ages and stages of your life. In the old days, it was only your neighborhood or your family who told you how you should be, but now it can feel like the entire world is pressuring you.
But how you deal with it, is a choice that is in your control.
So embrace the courage to love your je ne sais quoi.
- Less IS more.
When I moved back to Boston, I talked about all the stuff I had accumulated during my three years in Minneapolis. I lived in a not so big house but I filled it up with a LOT of stuff from cooking equipment to face creams to books.
Moving back to Boston was a shock for me. On my return from Paris, I realized that a part of my Parisian attitude was the philosophy that less is more. My Parisian apartment is even smaller than my Boston apartment but it’s a little jewel box and it’s perfect.
My Parisian attitude incorporates less is more in everything. It’s one less accessory. It’s one less pair of shoes. It’s also about looking like you spent no time on your hair and makeup and yet you don’t leave the house without feeling put together. It’s about looking like you just threw on your clothes and yet you added a belt to your shirt so it showed you had a waist.
It’s minimalism and yet it’s not. Those contradictions are part of my Parisian attitude. Keeping it simple but pretty …. and if you love it, where it often.
- Make a date with Hope.
When I was on that boat on the Seine in Paris, I had no hope. I thought my life was just going to be one long coast of nothingness until I died. Our lives do fall apart at times and we can feel that we’ll always be scared, sad or even marginalized, but we must, must remember if there is darkness, there must also be light and that light is hope.
Now I had the help of a few Paris angels as I like to call them. I was sitting on that boat trying to hold back my tears and suddenly, I felt hope. My angels carried the message into my ears that my life wasn’t over, love was all around me, maybe just not in the way I had wanted or expected, but that I should feel hope again because happier times, the light years, are all ahead of me.
Where can you reconnect with hope? Name her if you have to and welcome her into your daily life. Have regular conversations with hope. Make a date with Hope. Pretty soon, you’ll realize hope is part of your daily attitude or as I like to call it….my Parisian attitude.
So, embrace your own Parisian Attitude. How you feel and show up in the world will change, I promise you.
Outro:
I hope you enjoyed this episode and I can’t wait to hear how you feel as you try on your own Parisian Attitude.
I talked about hope in the podcast and at the core of hope is our dreams. Well, I’m in the process of creating a unique program called The Audacious Dream Life Atelier. In this exciting three month program I’ll be launching soon, you’ll pinpoint exactly what it is you want and then set up the structures and support to make the dream happen.
This program will be different from many courses or program you might have previously signed up for. The Audacious Dream Life Atelier will be a very small group of women, each chosen to work with a particular group so you have the community and support to help you to launch whatever big and audacious dream you’ve had- maybe for a long time. Previously you might not have given that dream all the time and attention it deserved and we’re going to change that. The combination of individualization, coaching, a very small group of like-minded women and the support and feedback you need to stay on track, will turn your dream into something real.
Send me an email or DM me if you think you’d like to be considered and want to hear more.
Atelier is a very common word in French and because I live half-time in Paris, I see ateliers all over. But if you weren’t sure what they are about, they are small, bespoke, craft and art “work” shops …. I love that word because we’re going to work on your dreams as though is THE most magical couture dress ever created … your dream is that special and unique.
Also, if you like Real You for Women podcast, please review and rate it, because honestly, the only way I can reach more people via iTunes or Spotify, is if you give me a rating. Plus, I’ll now be posting all my podcasts on YouTube, which is a much easier platform for you to like and subscribe.
And on the topic of digital magazines, I’m excited to announce that the name of my digital magazine has changed. It’s now called Extraordinary Women because so many of the women I interviewed are truly extraordinary. This magazine is a dream supporting, dream inspiring magazine that I know you’ll love. There are sections on style, self-care, and even some products and recipes I love. Also, I always have a section on my life in Paris. But at it’s foundation, it’s a magazine about and for extraordinary women like you. Go to Sharriharmel.com and get onboard right now.
Last, I Thank you for sharing your precious time with me today.
And I hope to see you very soon!
Bon journée!
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