Podcast Episode 47: Do You Have Dreams? - Extraordinary Women Magazine

This episode is all about the importance of having dreams. Dreams lead to purpose and regardless of our age, we need to feel we have a purpose on this earth- or truly, what’s the point, right?

Back when I was going through my divorce, I got this crazy dream that I would spend part of every year somewhere in Europe. If I’m perfectly honest, it was more a fantasy than a dream.

My daughter and I had taken a trip to Paris because she was trying to decide whether she wanted to go to pastry school, and as we walked the streets of Paris, I let myself imagine an entirely different life, and the dream of spending part of every year in Paris was born.

Dreams can serve many purposes and at that point of time, my dream of living part of every year in Paris was really a fantasy but it gave me hope. That was the dream’s initial purpose. I’d think about that dream when times were tough, and it helped me and comforted me to believe that life would get better. I wouldn’t always be that sad.

So, my dream began as hope and that was a very important purpose at that time. When you go through difficult times, find a dream that gives you hope.

Then when better times return, just like me, you have to revisit the dream and take action if that dream is still something you are passionate about making real.

But what if you don’t take action and the dream just hangs around. The dreams you have that you put in a box for someday or maybe never, will actually make you feel heavy, even sad. Those dreams are reminders of what you didn’t do- the path you didn’t pursue- the you that you didn’t nourish.

Many weeks ago, I shared with you that I needed to give up eating candy. For years, I knew I had put my dream of getting sugar out of my life and being healthier on a very high shelf in some far away closet.

What started to happen was I found myself making fun of my dream. I’d say things like Oh well- I’ll always be fat or I’m just a sugar addict- and even make comments about how I should work for a candy company. I’d get a laugh or two from my friends.

When my daughter-in-law, who is a physical education teacher and super fit asked me what my exercise program was, I laughed and said, “do I look like I have an exercise program?” Big laughs! I have even retold that story multiple times!

But ladies, those cavalier, off the cuff jokes we make about ourselves are usually a huge sign that we are in resignation land and frankly, even though we have a smile on our faces when we make those witty comments about ourselves- we are sad inside. Really sad.

And why? Because we put a big dream of ours on a shelf and gave up.

So, what are the jokes you make about yourself? Start to pay attention. We all do it. It’s actually an acceptable kind of humor that many comedians engage in.

But you’re not a comedian and you’re making fun of your dreams – sometimes your big dreams.

Maybe it’s not your weight or getting rid of sugar…. it could be how you manage money. Have you said things like “Face it I’m a spender not a saver”, followed by a laugh?

One I often hear from my single friends- “maybe men just don’t like the woman I am”- but it’s said with humor and a laugh or two. Underneath though, is most likely deep sadness that the dream of a fabulous partner has been shelved.

Are you funny? Yes! Did you get a laugh? Probably.

But underneath that light-hearted sarcastic comment is possibly a dream that you have given up without really trying to make it happen.

Now- let’s look at our dreams in a different context. The Olympics have been going on for over a week. Can you imagine Simone Biles saying to her teammates right before you walks up to perform on the balance beam….” well this will be a joke, but whatever.”

NO! Not one athlete would ever make a joke of their probable poor performance before a competition. Yet, we’ll often make a joke of how unsuccessful we’ll be prior to something that actually matters to us.

So, be vigilant and shift away from downgrading the importance of your dreams by using self-deprecating humor.

Next, let’s talk about why we need our dreams. Dreams not only give us hope but also they give us purpose. And purpose matters.

What’s interesting though, is our dreams are always about something WE want to accomplish for ourselves. This is what we think about when we lay in bed at night imagining our dreams.

Your dreams are connected to YOUR purpose- the reason you are here on earth at this time. It’s WHY each and every one of you are here- and your dreams honor the special and unique person that you are.

I love dreams. When you think about it, dreams are a luxury. We as humans are the only living beings on the planet who can have dreams. Your dog doesn’t dream about a nice meal at the next holiday or what hole she is going to dig in the yard the next time you let her outside.

Dreams are reserved for us humans, so let’s honor this gift we have been given, which is our dreams.

What are yours? Do you have one top dream or several dreams. Sometimes you just have to pick one and try it out. Work it as they say. You’ll know pretty quickly whether or not it is the right dream for you.

Here’s a way you can unearth motivations behind a dream you have.

Lay out the dream- and come up with your whys – your whys explain what it is about that dream motivates you.

Start by writing down the dream on a piece of paper. Next, around that dream you just wrote down, add all the reasons you want it. Don’t filter, just write what comes up for you.

The power of this exercise is you’ll see very quickly whether it’s truly YOUR dream or if you are motivated by pleasing someone else or even if it is their dream and not yours. That’s super important for dreams. YOU have to make sure it is yours and only yours.

As an example, I recently spoke with a woman who talked about a business she wanted to start. When I asked her why, she gave me three answers…. “It will make my children proud of me” “I’ll have something to do.” And finally, “maybe it will make a little money.” Really lovely, caring answers but not one of those answers spoke of a purpose or even a passion in her soul.

Our dreams have to light us up! Sometimes we must peel away external expectations of us to figure out what dream we actually go after.

Think of the Olympic athlete before their race begins, their dream is to win the race or competition, exceed what they have ever done before. When you look at their faces, you see determination, passion, and focus.

Dreams don’t magically happen. You have to pinpoint what you want and work hard to make it happen.

I love this quote by Colin Powell…. “A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work.”

But ladies, once a dream begins to become real….it feels really and truly amazing…. there is nothing like it.

So, ladies, I believe in you. I know you can get started today on whatever YOUR dream is, and MY dream is to help you make your dream come true.

Outro:

I hope you enjoyed this episode, and I can’t wait to hear if doing the exercise I mentioned brings you clarity around your dreams AND that it’s a dream that fills you with passion and purpose.

Speaking of dreams, I’m in the process of creating a unique program called The Dream Life Atelier. In this exciting three-month program I’ll be launching soon, you’ll pinpoint exactly what it is you want and then set up the structures and support to make the dream happen.

It’ll be a small group of women chosen to work with me, so you have the community and support to help you to launch whatever big and audacious dream you’ve had- maybe for a long time- but haven’t accomplished because you didn’t have the support to make it a reality.

Send me an email or DM me if you think you’d like to be considered and want to hear more.

An atelier if you didn’t know are what the French describe as small, bespoke, craft and art “work” shops….and we’re going to work on your dreams as though is THE most magical couture dress ever created because your dream is that special and unique.

Also, if you like Real You Women podcast, please review and rate it, because honestly, the only way I can reach more people via iTunes or Spotify, is if you give me a rating. Plus, I’ll now be posting all my podcasts on YouTube, which is a much easier platform for you to like and subscribe.

This Thursday, August 12 I’ll be hosting my second Champagne Soiree from my Paris apartment. It’ll be virtual of course, but I will have with me Mimi Bleu, an American who married a Frenchman and has now lived in France for close to 15 years. Mimi is the Editor in chief of Belle Inspiration magazine and CEO of the Belle Group. It’ll be a fun gathering of women interested in hearing about life in France, specifically Paris- and as usual lots of laughs and shared thoughts.

If you’d like to join us on this FREE Zoom call, send me your email address and I’ll send you the Zoom link the morning of the 12^th.

And on the topic of digital magazines, don’t forget Be the Real You Magazine. This magazine is a dream supporting, dream inspiring magazine that I know you’ll love. How do I know that? Because other women just like you have said so….. It is only $29.99 and comes out four times/year. Go HERE and get onboard right now.

Thank you for sharing your precious time with me today.

And I hope to see you soon!

Bon Journée.