Hi ladies!

Welcome to Be the Real You for Women Podcast. This week we’re going to talk about Dreams versus Making Do. 

I learned a huge lesson this week. I had in my head what I thought was a superb new group coaching idea, which was going to be The Art of Solo Living. 

Now before you start yawning, I’ve been reading so much press on the fact that the number of people, especially women, who live alone has significantly increased over the past decade. Now, this solo living circumstance doesn’t mean you’re not interested in or have a significant other. It just means you choose to live alone, or life’s circumstances have forced you to live alone. 

Now I live alone, and I thought, how fun, I can share all that I’ve learned over the past 8 years – my tips and advice – plus, how to DO solo living fabulously. This all started years ago when I read the adorable 1936 little book titled Live Alone and Like it by Marjorie Hillis, a Vogue Editor.  It’s super funny and must have been shocking in 1936, when women who lived alone were viewed pretty much as women to fear and mentally unstable or God forbid – a spinster. 

So, because I loved that little book so much, and the increase in solo livers – I thought I had a real winner on my hands. I outlined ideas and even a schedule of topics for this coaching group.  

Now at the same time, I had this other idea in my head for a group coaching program that would be titled, Dream Life Atelier. But I was sure – and I mean REALLY sure that my solo living idea was current, and my dream life atelier had been overdone. 

Did I say, I was sure? Yep, I almost would have put money down on the success of a solo living coaching program. 

Well, remember last week when I talked about the importance of testing out our ideas? 

In my case, I did a Facebook split-test ad as they call it, testing out how many women click on a Dream Life Readiness ad versus a Solo Living Readiness ad. 

As we all know, you have to come out of the FB ad gate with clicks or you’ll end up in impressions pastureland … and that’s exactly where Solo Living ended up. Dream Life Readiness got 281 clicks to Solo Living’s 4. It was incredible to me! 

But this is exactly why doing our research around our ideas can really help us to make decisions. 

What did I learn from this experience? I learned that we as humans are not the least bit excited about fixing things. 

Learning how to love living solo, must have felt like something was wrong and needed to be fixed. 

Dream Life Readiness? Woo- hoo!! We like happy, we like possibilities, we like hope. 

Maybe things have changed since covid but every single person I meet with shares that they are no longer willing to just make do …. settle for what is asked of them …. Or be comfortable with just an okay life or career. 

We want to stretch; we want to be happy in all parts of our lives and we don’t want to wait for someday. 

So, once I got that realization, I switched direction and got to work. 

But what about this land of possibilities, hope and happiness called our Dream Life? 

We must have dreams as long as we live. Otherwise, what is the purpose of our lives right? 

Think back to when you were a little girl. You had fun in the moment for sure, but I imagine you had lots and lots of dreams in your head. What were you going to be when you grew up? What was Santa Claus going to bring you?  Would you make cookies when you go to grandmas? The fort you’re making with your brother will be the coolest ever! Just wait and see!

Purpose is connected to having dreams throughout our lives…right up to the end and like so many things, how we made decisions as children are still wonderful guideposts. 

1. As I said in Episode 42, we need to have more fun. Fun grows our creativity and curiosity exponentially- both are needed to fuel our dreams. When you were little, you had to have fun every single day. Remember? You’d create fun somehow, some way and let’s all embrace that. 

As grownups, my older sister and I will still laugh over our BenGay bedtime experiment. Back when we were maybe 8 and 12, we thought that because we love the smell of BenGay, why not put a little dab on our noses? Oh my …. it burned like you can’t imagine … and we spent a good bit of time screaming in our pillows until it wore off and then laughed until we had tears running down our faces. 

It was hysterical fun that we’ve never forgotten. Ladies, we need to find ways to have fun as though we are little girls again. It’s not easy but I’m committed to adding a bit of fun into every single day. 

2. Be a part of a tribe.  Regardless of whether or not you have a partner, you need a tribe. There are those in the tent with you and those who are in the tents that surround you. You want and need them both. 

I love my tribe. I can count on my tribe to help me to see whether or not I’m completely off my path. Some I go to for advice and some freely speak up. 

When you were little, your tribe often kept you safe. I remember my best friend and I were deciding what street we were going to skip down, and she said not that one … the creepy man lives on that street. So off we went to another. 

No scary men hopefully on your current path, but your tribe is the women who will ask, “tell me more about that, tell me how you see that working?” 

As you talk through your answers…you’ll start to get clarity around your dream. 

3. When we’d get into trouble as kids, we usually would figure out how to get out of trouble and then tell ourselves, “Well, I’m never going to do THAT again.” 

Same goes for our adult mistakes …. what went wrong, what happened, what should I not do again? Good questions that help us to make good choices and decisions going forward and your tribe can help you. 

When we made mistakes as kids, we’d say to anyone who will listen, I tried that, and this is what happened. As grownups, we somehow think we can’t make mistakes, or we shouldn’t make mistakes, so we don’t talk about our mistakes. Then those mistakes stay stuck in our heads like clothes in a washing machine- until they create negative beliefs about ourselves. Share your mistakes, with your tribe and work though what direction your dreams need to take as a result. 

Get those mistakes out of your head and ask your tribe for help or answers. That is the only way our mistakes don’t lead to mindset beliefs that just aren’t true. 

Back to the origins of this podcast episode. Yes, we are ALL energized by our dreams. 

Dreams give us hope and purpose….so we MUST have dreams. 

This week, pull out a photo of yourself as a little girl. Ask her to tell you, her dreams. It will be difficult to get her to stop sharing….

Wrap up…

I hope you enjoyed this episode and you’ve found that photo of yourself as a little girl. Frame the photo, because you and she are going to have regular dream chats. 

Now, I’m starting a wait list for my Dream Life Atelier Coaching group. It will be three months long, and you’ll get clarity on your dream, and then get moving on your dream, all the while working within your tribe. 

The Dream Life Atelier Coaching group will be a small number of women, so you get the support you need to move forward on those fabulous, audacious dreams I know you have for yourself. Ateliers if you didn’t know are what the French describe as small, bespoke, craft and art “work” shops …. and we’re going to work on your dreams as though is a couture dress or pair of shoes because your dream is that special and unique to you. 

Message me on FB or IG or send me an email if you want to be added to the wait list for this amazing program. 

Also, if you like Be the Real You podcast, please review and rate it, because honestly, the only way I can reach more people via iTunes or Spotify, is if you give me a rating. Look at it as your way of paying it forward, so subscribe to this podcast and rate it. 

And don’t forget Be the Real You Magazine. It is a dream supporting, dream inspiring magazine that I know you’ll love. How do I know that? Because other women just like you have said so…. It is only $29.99 and comes out four times/year. Go to Sharriharmel.com and hit subscribe. 

In conclusion, rate and share this podcast, subscribe to the magazine, and get on the wait list for Dream Life Atelier, which will be coming out soon. 

Take care
A bientôt.

 

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