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Welcome to Episode 32 of the Be the Real You podcast.

I’m Sharri Harmel, Business and Life Coach – and founder and editor of Be the Real You Magazine

Often, I talk in my vlogs about getting quiet to find out what it is that you truly want, which path is best for you, or how to navigate your way to a more authentic life.

Well, journaling is THE best way to get connected with yourself.

I’ve journaled since I was a young girl. It was my way of saying things I couldn’t say out loud in my very dysfunctional family and also a way for me to celebrate my accomplishments as a little girl who was a good student and super achievement focused but didn’t receive the kudos I needed. My journaling also got me through my high school experiences, connected me to my big dreams, but my journaling was most impactful when my life took a huge pivot, up to and after the birth of my son. Everywhere I turned during that time, I was overwhelmed by my family’s shame and manipulated by a system that I was unable to escape. 

Looking back, I now know it was abusive, but when therapists have asked me over the years, how I survived it, how I am intact today, I always say journaling.

If you don’t journal, you’re wondering can that really be true?  Well, no matter what was happening in my life, journaling has helped me to stay connected to my core self, who I really was. As a pregnant teen, journaling helped me to stay strong in my belief that I was still smart, determined and worthy of dreams.

Journaling has only positive benefits because when you journal, you are connecting to your true and real self. You don’t pretend in your journals because you have no reason to put up a false façade. When you journal, you don’t have to listen to what those around you say or judge you to be.

You’re in conversation with yourself and no one else. All those curtains and protections aren’t needed. Journaling assists you in seeing the whole person that you are including your mistakes, and helps you connect with your dreams.

Studies have shown that journaling can positively affect our physical and mental health. Why is that?

Because being the real you, even if just for 10 minutes/day while you journal, helps to reduce any anxiety you are feeling. Anxiety, we all know, affects our mental health and ultimately our physical health. Journaling quiets that overactive brain that won’t let you sleep or has you spinning in indecision or so preoccupied that you can’t focus. Journaling comforts you, embraces whatever you are feeling and can lift you up when you most need to be lifted.

What’s so crazy is that when our brains are stressed or anxious, we are worrying about things that most likely will never happen! Yet, in that state, no matter how much deep breathing we do, our brain is acting like a hyper two-year-old right before they plop down for a nap. Telling yourself to just take a few deep breaths when your brain is in the middle of overwhelm, is about as productive as getting a two-year-old to take some deep breaths to calm themselves.

When I can’t sleep- or wake up in the middle of the night obsessing over something- I’ll often get up and write in my journal. Once I write down my feelings about whatever is upsetting me or occupying my thoughts, my brain is suddenly able to relax enough for me to fall back asleep.

Journaling works like nothing else because as you write, you’ll start to see and feel the difference between your reality and all the anxiety produced by those negative possibilities but highly unlikely happenings. Journaling is a way to bring focus and reality to your brain.

What’s cool about journaling is there are no filters when you write. You can say exactly what you want to say, and work through all the possibilities, no matter how much change those possibilities might bring into your life. My only suggestion around what you write is to not think about anyone else when you journal, just let the ideas, thoughts, feeling (both happy and angry) flow from your pen. No one is going to see your journal, so it is just you and your journal. Complain, bitch, be snarky, think of good possibilities, let yourself dream.

When you let yourself express the full gamut of emotions you are feeling, you’ll find peace AND direction.

So many of the exercises in courses I teach like Recapture Your Joy in Life or even with my coaching clients involves journaling.

Try some fun writing lead-ins when you journal.  such as “What if….”

“If I won the lottery, what would I change in my life?”

“If I had an international platform, how would I want to make my impact?”

“If I could do what I most loved all the time, what would that be?”

Another exercise I engage in when I’m really upset with someone is to write them a letter in my journal. I don’t send it, but it helps me to say whatever I want to say to the person but cannot. I find that by just writing this letter, I start to understand the person’s reasons for their behavior and sometimes, I’m even able to get the closure I need with that person.

I’ve done this with my family and marriage issues and even a manipulative boss and colleague.

Sometimes journaling even helps me to figure out what to say to the person if given the opportunity. Journaling can be your true and real source of clarity. 

Now I often get asked if it has the same benefits if you journal on your computer versus pen and paper and my answer is it depends. I’ve journaled for decades so I can easily get into the journaling mindset whether I’m on my iPad or writing with a pen. If you are new to journaling, you might want to try both and see how you feel. Some of you might need to draw or need colors, so pen and paper makes more sense to you.

One thing I will say on that topic, is it is much more fun to look back at my old pen and paper journals than my computer entries. If I look at handwritten journaling versus on my iPad, I see many more patterns and get a better sense of my emotions at the time of writing.

But whatever works for you is what is best for you. Trust yourself.

I’ll leave you with my last share which is how much I love my moleskin journals. You can purchase them at almost any bookstore. They have soft covers, a lovely elastic, easily travel, and comfortable to write or draw in. I tend to write the year on the journal spine so I can go back and re-read my progress.

Enjoy and do share on our FB page how you have experienced journaling. I’d love to hear from you as would our entire community.

Now I want to invite you to subscribe to my magazine, Be the Real You.  If you are a woman who is ready to be inspired, self-reflective and likes to laugh a little, subscribe to Be the Real You Magazine. Go to my website sharriharmel.com and click subscribe.

It’s only $29/year for four issues.

Like I said, you’ll be inspired by the stories of the women I interview, you’ll always get a few self-confidence building tips, a guest writer or two will share something about style or self-care, and I always have a good read with tea, where I highlight a favorite book.  Plus, you get a glimpse into my life reimagined in Paris, and armchair travel is always fun, isn’t it?

Thank you for sharing your precious time to listen to this podcast. Do subscribe and please leave a review because reviews so matter!

But most important, this week make time to journal. That is the doorway to you living as your real and true self.  Be the Real You.

Take good care and see you soon.

A bientôt.

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