Podcast Episode #23: Stay or Leave…the Corporate Woman’s Dilemma

Listen to the Episode:

Recently, I was working with a group of women on self-esteem in my mini-course Recapture Your Joie de Vivre. We talked about how thoughts create beliefs which essentially dominate the direction of our lives. We also talked about the RAS system in our brains. This is the part of your brain that filters what you’ve told it is important. Say you’re looking to buy a new car and thinking about a BMW. Suddenly you’ll see that car everywhere. It’s not that there are more BMW’s on the road, it’s that you told your brain that BMW’s are important to you.

So, your thoughts and beliefs essentially program your RAS system to find and attract all the people and experiences you need to prove to yourself that what you think and believe about yourself are true.

In our discussion, I was using simple examples like if I believe I’m overweight and will never lose the weight, then when I walk into the grocery store, the first thing I’ll see are all the treats and candies displayed before the fruit and veggie aisle and probably find them very hard to resist. I’ve told my brain that I’m overweight and there is nothing I can do about it, so my RAS system says- give the girl some treats and here they are!

We talked about several different examples of how the universe around us, gives us what we think and believe.

But one woman shared something that is super important. She said that some of her beliefs are easy for her to reprogram, while others are much more difficult.

I asked her to give me examples of the easy and then the difficult.

I should preface this by saying this woman is a strong, smart professional woman who has worked in corporate her entire career. She said that she has no issues with changing her lifestyle to be healthier or lose the baby weight after her second child, but she keeps dreaming of starting something of her own. And this one is harder than any other change she embraces in her life. Something just keeps holding her back.

Great point! Yes, some changes are much more difficult than others.

Embracing a new eating program, getting your home and office organized, creating new habits even, all have some degree of potential failure, but it’s not all that threatening. Failure in those examples might even be something to laugh off.

But leaving a corporate career and starting your own business? Entirely different. We are now in the realm of Brene Brown’s conversation on vulnerability.

Corporate jobs provide an identity that the world around you knows. I see it all the time. I am a member of the Boston Club, which is a group of incredibly accomplished professional women in the Boston area who are seeking or working on corporate boards. Whenever I attend an event or a gathering, the conversation of these women focuses on what they do for work. It is easy to see that much of their self-cred if we want to call it that, is the company they work for and the position they hold.

Now, although I have loads of corporate experience, I’m a complete oddball in that group, but I’m used to being an oddball…. these women are not. If I can generalize, if you are a corporate woman, you have had to conform to get to where you are. You have had to dance the dance and fit in. So, to step out of that world even if you are unhappy, is a HUGE step.

And Why? It’s all because of mindset- those thoughts and beliefs you have about yourself.

Maybe you find yourself asking …. Who am I if I leave corporate and start something of my own?

What if I fail? What if I’m wrong? Can I handle the public embarrassment? What if I have to return to corporate? You might even make some untested conclusions. If I have to return to corporate, I’ll never re-enter at the level I’m at right now!

All of those possible thoughts connect back to your self-image or self-esteem, which is how you view yourself and your self-confidence, which is your belief in your ability to be able to successfully do something. Both are connected, interwoven and under the mindset umbrella.

If ditching corporate and starting something of your own is continually in your thoughts and yet you are taking no action, you first, need to identify what you are really afraid of. Peel back the onion of fear and get to what you are really, really afraid of. This means you have to be totally and completely honest with yourself and willing to almost objectively observe your deepest fears. It is the fears that are keeping you from taking any action.

Next, judge the fear. When I ask my clients to tell me what they most fear, I hear the worst-case scenario. As an example, for me way back when, it was that I’d be a homeless woman with all my belongings in a grocery cart I was pushing down the road. I could literally see myself as that woman as though it was a movie. In contrast, what I couldn’t see as clearly was being successful at my new career path, growing my wealth and being happy. I had to put in some work to see that successful happy woman as clearly as the homeless me.

Now, you’re probably laughing right about now, but do this for yourself. I think you’ll see that your greatest fear in leaving corporate is something that certainly hasn’t happened and most likely will not happen.

But to help get your mind wrapped around that realization, and be less afraid, you have to acknowledge your worst-case scenarios and then logically analyze the reality of your fears.

Write them down and rate them if you need to. On a scale of 1 to 10, how likely will they actually happen? If the likelihood is less than a 6 or 7, let it go. Accept that those scenarios are rather unlikely.

For the biggies, look at each and explore what you could do to make sure those don’t happen. You have the power to determine the outcome. Remember, your thoughts and beliefs will either bring you the people and experiences to assist you in making your business happen, or not. And thinking about the worst-case scenarios are giving those worst-case scenarios a whole lot of undeserved energy.

Remember my dream of being a homeless woman with my shopping cart of possessions? I learned to block out that vision and remind myself over and over that I’m a smart woman. I began my career in financial services as a stockbroker so I’m fiscally responsible. I would never let any of my choices take me to the point of homelessness. My worst-case scenario was highly unlikely, a big pile of you know what.

If you’re still not convinced here is another fun exercise….

The idea came from a comment a woman in my mini-course Recapture your joie de vivre made. She said, remind yourself that time will pass regardless of whether or not you make a decision.

So even if you do nothing with the dream of starting something on your own, working on something you feel passionate about where you can use all your gifts and strengths, time will still march on.

Here is the exercise I want you to try. Pretend it is ten years from now. Close your eyes if it helps. Imagine you are ten years older as is your partner and your children. You’re now going to write two letters.

The first letter is from the you who did nothing different, stayed on the same path, gave your gifts away in the exact same way you are today.

If you are now 40 years old, you are writing this letter as a 50-year-old corporate woman who stayed in corporate.

What is her life like? What are her days like? Who does she report to, who are her direct reports? Is she on a team or leading a team? Who are the people she interacts with day after day? Has the company grown? Are the shareholders happy? How does she feel when she wakes up each morning? Imagine her feelings, her regrets, her promises to herself.

The second letter is again, ten years from now, but this letter is from the you that left corporate and started on her own dream business. Be real. Starting a business isn’t all flexibility and ease, but you are writing the letter as though we fast forwarded, and you have now put ten years into the business you started back in 2021. Who are the shareholders in this business? Are they happy? How does she feel. What are her days like? How are her gifts and talents being used? H Who does she report to, who reports to her? Who is she surrounded by each and every day? How does she feel when her feet hit the ground with each new day? Imagine her feelings, her regrets, her promises to herself.

When complete, read those letters out loud to yourself. Notice how you feel in your body. How much energy is moving around you when you read each letter. Remember, your intuition is the source of your brilliance. Notice how your body feels when you read each letter. There is incredible wisdom in those intuitive messages.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on how this worked for you.

Message me in FB or Instagram or drop me an email

In the next few months, I’ll be announcing a couple of new products, one is expected to be a course tentatively titled, “Design That Business You’ve Always Wanted.” This mastermind course will be perfect for any of you who are ready to ditch corporate and start a business. More information will be coming but if you are interested, let me know.

As always, thank you for listening and being on this journey with me. If you liked this podcast, please subscribe, and write me a review. Reviews do matter!

Bye for now….

A bientôt!