Podcast Episode 5: What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?

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You might be smiling, but if you remember back to early elementary school, you were always asked that question, “What do you think you want to be when you grow up?”

I’m decades beyond elementary school and still… I’m never quite sure what I’m going to be when I grow up…. maybe you can relate. To figure that out though, we have to go back to when we were little girls.

Here’s an example:

When my daughter was in 2nd grade, her class had a party where the kids were supposed to dress as “what they wanted to be when they grew up.” Of course, parents were invited to the celebration. When I walked into her classroom, I looked around and saw it filled with little kids dressed as doctors, lawyers, builders and judges. (I didn’t even know what a judge was when I was 7 or 8.)

Well, from her first day on this planet, my daughter has always danced to her own song. She had significant dyslexia and other issues, which made school very hard. But because of her disabilities, she was interested in very different things than her peers.

At that time, her favorite television show was Emeril, the chef. Remember him? He’d always make a couple of different dishes but in EVERY show, there was one point when he had to add an extra spice or something. He’d raise his arm in the air and toss in the spice into the pan saying very loudly BAM! Well that was my daughter’s favorite part of every show.

But besides Emeril, Kelly would intently watch one cooking show after another and then want to try things in the kitchen. Cooking, baking, she loved it all. When I look back, I think making cookies or stuffing the Thanksgiving turkey made total sense to her where her schoolwork did not.

Well, time marched forward and with lots of tutoring, Kelly ended up in college but hated it.

When we finally had the heart to heart conversation and I asked her what she really loved to do she said, “Mom, I want to go to culinary school to become a baker.”

I share this because maybe we all need to remember what it was, what it was that we dreamed of being when we were little girls.

Why? Because when we are children, we were unaware of any cultural pressures or limitations.

We don’t have the limiting beliefs that every artist is starving or that having a cooking show is only for the very few.

We believe we can write a book or build a fort. It is when we are children that we don’t think twice about jumping into something new whether a pile of leaves or into a lake.

But time marches on and we begin to let our parents, husbands, partners, families, and even society tell us what we should be. We start to hide ourselves, our true selves, and as a consequence we begin to limit ourselves.

Well ladies, enough is enough!! No more hiding, no more trying to present the perfect family or the perfect marriage or even more often, there is no more thinking that it’s too late for you to figure out what you want to be when you grow up.

I don’t care if you’re 35 or 65, why not ask yourself that question,

What do I want to be when I grow up?

I say this, because being excited about our future, is a key ingredient to having a positive mindset. And as I’ve said before, our mindset is the key to a happy life.

Regrets make us small. Dreams keep us big.

Back when we were kids, we didn’t have the expansive vocabulary to describe ourselves, but we probably knew our real selves better than we did when we were 30 years old.

When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a teacher and loved setting up my classroom in my grandfather’s office where I’d pretend to teach my students.

I also loved setting up systems. Sounds weird for a kid, but I’d do crazy things like clean my mother’s kitchen cupboards and organize them in a way that I thought would help her to find ingredients. Then I’d actually explain my system to her!

Now after many careers, jobs and roles, I look back and see that I have always loved to start with a vision and then teach what feeds into the vision.

So, I am a visionary teacher, which is what makes me a good coach.

Whether it was executives, clients, my own children or university students, I would always start with a vision and then teach. Teaching my daughter how to cope with her disabilities but soar with her gifts, teaching people how to connect and develop their strengths, or even teaching people about money….it all started with a vision and then I’d help that person plan out the steps needed to create their vision.

So even though I’ve had many careers, I’ve actually stayed very true to what I loved as a child.

Yet, I had years where I coasted or felt sad because I began to believe that I hadn’t lived up to the dreams and plans I had as a child.

I now coach fabulous women like you, because I want every woman to find her REAL and TRUE vision. I don’t want another woman to think that her time to explore what she wants to be when she grows up- is over.

No more coasting or resignation.

So, connecting with yourself as a little girl and asking her, “what do you want to be when you grow up?” is the perfect way to begin.

And just like my daughter, what you wanted to do especially as a child, was most likely, very closely aligned with your strengths.

No child wants to do or be something they don’t enjoy or aren’t good at.

Yet as grown ups we do it over and over.

So, remember back to yourself as a little girl. What did you say when someone asked you what do you want to be when you grow up?

Have you had particular roles in your life that align with your little girl dream?

Are there certain themes that you can identify?

Let me explain themes…. For me it was that I must see a vision, a big picture in my mind’s eye. Now, I look back and see that my life roles have always involved helping others to find their visions and lay out a plan for them to get there.

For my daughter in contrast, her theme was hands on work because she is incredibly visual and tactile. Looking back, she has always shined when she was touching and doing. It should be no surprise that her sport for 15 years was riding horses.

See how her riding career fit so perfectly with her themes?So, what are your themes? These themes are usually the first thing that comes to mind when you reflect back on the memorable experiences of your childhood or young adulthood.

As you let yourself go back in time, jot down those big, memorable experiences of your life and see if you can find your primary themes that run through most of those memorable experiences you wrote down.

And why is this important? These themes are critical for you to imagine what it is that you want to be when you grow up.

I want your vision and plan for the next year to be what YOU want. I want those dreams to be true and real and authentically you.

One last suggestion….

Something really crazy, and this might be a little woo-woo for you, but I have a photo of myself as a little girl next to my bed.

Every night before I go to sleep, I look into her eyes and I remember her little voice saying what it was she wanted to be when she grew up.

I promise that little girl that I’m doing my best to make all her dreams and plans come true.

I’m going to make the most of my life because that is what she deserves.

It’s so weird but I can feel my body relax every time I have that little conversation with her.

So, if you have a photo of yourself as a child, pull it out or better yet frame it and have it by your bedside. Look into that sweet little face and ask her what she is thinking, what is it she wants. What is it that she loves to do?

I promise you; you’ll get an answer or two because SHE is still you!

Try it and please do share what it was your little girl self has to say to you.

I’d LOVE to hear from all of you!

So, head over to FB or Instagram and share.

As always, if you enjoyed this podcast and want to go deeper, let me know because I’ve got two courses coming out soon AND both will have live coaching sessions for us to talk about

What YOU want to be when you grow up.

Take good care everyone.

À bientôt.